Needs

 

     Anyone you talk to will tell you that they have needs.  Of course, those needs will probably vary depending upon the individual you ask.  However, the basic human needs have been “boiled down” so to speak into the following as shown on www.businessballs.com

     This site considers 7 basic needs for humans and breaks them down as:

1.       Biological and Physiological needs: Basic life needs, air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, etc.

2.      Safety needs: Protection, security, order, law, limits, stability, etc.

3.      Belongingness and Love needs: Family, affection, relationships, work group, etc.

4.      Esteem needs:  Achievement, status, responsibility, reputation.

5.      Cognitive needs: Knowledge, meaning, self-awareness.

6.      Aesthetic needs: Beauty, balance, form, etc.

7.      Self-actualization: Personal growth and fulfilment.

     This is what they considered according to Maslow’s theory to be the basic needs of humans.

     According to a Forbes article posted a few years ago there are 6 human needs that must be considered.  I have quoted their report below to show how they imply a “modernization” to needs of humans:  https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2018/02/05/six-fundamental-human-needs-we-need-to-meet-to-live-our-best-lives/#76e3cda9344a

“A modern list of 6 human needs

This list benefits from nearly 75 years of psychology, neuroscience, and sociology research beyond what was known when Maslow wrote his list.

1.      Food - The body needs calories and a variety of nutrients including protein, fat, and carbohydrates everyday to grow, function, and repair. Without food, the body begins to atrophy.

2.      Water - Ample hydration allows for the processes of the body to occur. Without water the body cannot process food or remove wastes.

3.      Shelter - We require protection from blazing sun, freezing temperatures, wind, and rain. Without shelter, human skin and organs are damaged from extreme temperatures.

4.      Sleep - 6–9 hours of sleep every 24 hours allows the brain to process new knowledge and deal with emotional information. Without ample sleep we cannot learn new things or get past emotional pain.

5.      Others - Adults require connection (physical or emotional) with other humans to release certain hormones like oxytocin. Human touch is so important that when we are young, our brains don’t develop correctly without it. Regular connection to others allows us to maintain a sense of well-being that allows for self-care.

6.      Novelty - Novelty creates the opportunity to learn and the potential to fail, which stimulates dopamine release in the brain. Without regular novelty, motivation wanes and a healthy sense of well-being is lost.

These 6 needs, when met, allow for a person to develop the self-esteem, security, belonging, actualization, and the other expressions of contentedness that Maslow described. Maslow’s list came from what he saw in successful and happy people versus those who were not as contented or accomplished. He was the first to study contented humans. Prior to Maslow’s work, Psychology focused on people who were described as mentally ill.

We now live in a world where coaching, therapy, and personal development is the norm. Psychology is expected to support all people in achieving their goals. This new modern list of needs assumes that if these 6 basic needs are met on a daily basis, that a person will have enough motivation, well-being, and physical stamina to seek out physical exercise, emotional stimulation, and creative expression as needed throughout their lives.

Unfortunately, when people go for a long time without having all 6 of these needs met, it becomes difficult for them to begin to allow for these needs to be met. A person who doesn't get enough sleep will insist that they can do without. A person who has grown up without deep connection to others will insist that they prefer to live as a loner. Those who have deeply rutted routines will resist change when it is offered to them.

It’s as though humans have a natural protective process that occurs when one of these 6 needs goes unfulfilled. We develop beliefs that we are special, somehow more capable than everyone else, because we can get along without having our needs fulfilled. The truth is that we are often in denial. Every single person on this planet needs food, water, shelter, sleep, others, and novelty on a regular basis to be their best selves.”

     Again, in an effort to evidently “simplify” the needs of humans, an article posted by Simply Psychology has boiled down the needs of humans into 5 simple structures.  I have quoted their article below for consideration.  https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html#:~:text=Physiological%20needs%20%2D%20these%20are%20biological,human%20body%20cannot%20function%20optimally.

“1. Physiological needs - these are biological requirements for human survival, e.g. air, food, drink, shelter, clothing, warmth, sex, sleep.

If these needs are not satisfied the human body cannot function optimally. Maslow considered physiological needs the most important as all the other needs become secondary until these needs are met.

2. Safety needs - Once an individual’s physiological needs are satisfied, the needs for security and safety become salient. People want to experience order, predictability and control in their lives. These needs can be fulfilled by the family and society (e.g. police, schools, business and medical care).

For example, emotional security, financial security (e.g. employment, social welfare), law and order, freedom from fear, social stability, property, health and wellbeing (e.g. safety against accidents and injury).

3. Love and belongingness needs - after physiological and safety needs have been fulfilled, the third level of human needs is social and involves feelings of belongingness. The need for interpersonal relationships motivates behavior

Examples include friendship, intimacy, trust, and acceptance, receiving and giving affection and love. Affiliating, being part of a group (family, friends, work).

4. Esteem needs are the fourth level in Maslow’s hierarchy - which Maslow classified into two categories: (i) esteem for oneself (dignity, achievement, mastery, independence) and (ii) the desire for reputation or respect from others (e.g., status, prestige).

Maslow indicated that the need for respect or reputation is most important for children and adolescents and precedes real self-esteem or dignity.

5. Self-actualization needs are the highest level in Maslow's hierarchy, and refer to the realization of a person's potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences. Maslow (1943) describes this level as the desire to accomplish everything that one can, to become the most that one can be.

Individuals may perceive or focus on this need very specifically. For example, one individual may have a strong desire to become an ideal parent. In another, the desire may be expressed economically, academically or athletically. For others, it may be expressed creatively, in paintings, pictures, or inventions.” 

     In many aspects you can see that these sources as well as others, regardless of the numbers of categories they place human needs in, have all failed to recognize probably the most important of human needs.  That is a close, personal relationship with our Creator.  For a person to find real contentment within their life they need to be “conscious of their spiritual need.” [Matthew 5:3]  The reason a person can have a satisfying life with a close personal relationship with their Creator is also highlighted by Matthew 6:31-33 “So never be anxious and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or, ‘What are we to drink?’ or, ‘What are we to wear?’  For all these are the things the nations are eagerly pursuing.  Your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  Keep on, then seeking first the Kingdom and his (God’s) righteousness, and all these other things will be added to you.”

     Simply put our basic human need is often overlooked by individuals as they try to pursue their own “needs” or “wants.”  Sadly, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"At times what we want 

is not what we need."

Peace

 

     With definitions of peace being given as “freedom from disturbance” and “a state or period in which there is no war or a war has ended”, it is understandable why most people don’t really know what peace is.  However, the Hebrew word for peace used in the Bible, Shalom, translated in the Septuagint most often by the Greek word, Eirene, has a wide semantic range including the notions of totality or completeness, success, fulfillment, wholeness, harmony, security and well-being.

     This certainly gives a much broader and meaningful understanding to the word instead of using our common English definitions.  We might try to use synonyms for this word and say, friendship, truce, unity, armistice, treaty, or some other word, however the true essence of the word is still not fully satisfied by the use of such terms.

     The problem that usually develops is that we all WANT peace, but most people look for peace in the wrong places.  Many think that by simply avoiding conflict they will obtain the peace they are seeking.  Others feels that perhaps there is a need to be in some “special” location before peace can be achieved.  While, to some degree, either or both of these conditions may be more susceptible to cultivating peace than others, more is needed for true peace to be part of our very being.

     Often the problem stems from the fact that we are not looking at the source of peace - - - our Creator!  Many don’t realize that man-made peace is not lasting.  You only have to look at history to see what man has been unable to accomplish.  In the reality of God’s understanding man’s quest for peace will lead to just the opposite.  1 Thessalonians 5:3 states: “Whenever it is that they are saying ‘Peace and security!’ then sudden destruction is to be instantly on them.”

     However, the very opposite is true of the peace that our Creator, Jehovah promises to bring.  It will be everlasting.  Micah 4:3 states: “He [God] will render judgment among many peoples and set matters straight respecting mighty nations far away.  They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning shears.  Nation will not lift up sword against nation, Nor will they learn war anymore.”   Psalm 37:11 adds: “But the meek will possess the earth, and they will find exquisite delight in the abundance of peace.”

     The reason we can have such a condition for our future and in fact can have even now within our lives is highlighted for us from the source of peace.  “The peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts.” [Philippians 4:7] We are also told that peace is a fruitage of God’s spirit (Galatians 5:22,23) and “against such things there is no law.”

     Yes, with God’s help we can display peace forever and there will never be any limitation on the amount of good-will and compassion we can show to our fellow man.  The real problem develops when we turn our back on the very source of true peace we have.  Why would we ever do such a thing?  Deuteronomy 29:18 in part says: “Beware that there may not be a man or a woman, a family or a tribe among you today whose heart turns away from Jehovah our God to go serve the gods of those nations.”  We may choose to leave the very source of real peace and try to seek for ourselves a counterfeit source of peace.  We may choose to fool ourselves into thinking that we can provide for ourselves what God has already made abundantly available to us.  It’s possible that we would fall prey to the fact that we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"In addition to our hope for peace,

our desire for peace,

our prayers for peace, 

we must be peacemakers!"

Gold

 

 

    Just the mention of the word “gold” and thoughts come to a person’s mind about becoming unbelievably wealthy.  The proverbial picture of “wonderfulness” as when a child has “lollipops dancing in their head!”  Gold has for centuries been the goal of many a fortune seeker, dreams of the foolish at heart, and the downfall of many individual relationships, and defeats of nations.

     Why has humankind been so fascinated with this shiny, rare metal from the earth?  Why have many destroyed their own lives and the lives of others by seeking after this illusive provider of wealth?

     Mankind has used this metal for artistic purposes, for jewelry, for a means of currency and trade for centuries.  Even the Bible mentions gold often.  In the very first book, Genesis, the soon to be nation of Israel formed for themselves a golden calf to worship as their God!  According to the Bible, King Solomon ruled almost 3,000 years ago.  But the stories of his wealth are even today unbelievable.  It is said that he received some 25 tons of gold for each of the years of his rulership.  At today’s standard that would have been worth billions of dollars!

     In 1849, gold was discovered in the United States in the State of California.  Some 300,000 individuals left their livelihood, their homes, and their families for the hills of California.  They literally gave everything in hopes of making their fortune with this newly found opportunity. These individuals had no law to govern their actions and the many atrocities that were committed against the people already on the land became grievous.

     You might think that many people became wealthy by their adventures during the mining years.  However, very few were able to actually find the precious metal and those who did were often not able to keep it very long.  Life in a mining boom town was very difficult and VERY expensive! There were also many ways to lose the so-call profits that were gained: alcohol, brothels and gambling just to name a few of the chief enticements.  Believe it or not the ones who really made a fortune during these times were not the miners, but the merchants, the ones selling the items that the miners needed in search of their fortunes.  And so, arose the old adage: “During a gold rush, sell shovels!”

     Sadly, there were some who became so desperate to find their fortunes that they were victims of the saying: “Everything that glitters is not gold!”  They worked hard and spent their money on supplies and equipment only to unearth iron pyrite.  This is a shiny mineral composed of iron disulfide.  It looks somewhat like real gold, so it came to be called fool’s gold.  Fool’s gold was often found during the gold rush of the 1840s in the United States.  However, unlike the real thing, fool’s gold is a relatively worthless commodity because of its natural abundance and lack of industrial utility.  Their lives were ruined!

     Many are the ventures we seek in our lives today.  It may be something that appears to be advantageous, but in the finally it is useless!  It may be that we lose our finances, our families, our health, and perhaps even our lives in seeking after such things.

     It may be that many others are reaching out for these “get rich” opportunities and we feel that we must “get on the band wagon” before our opportunity is lost.  It may appear at the moment to be the “gold at the end of the rainbow” and we may never be in this position again.  But do not forget, that “everything that glitters is not gold.”  We may be chasing after our fool’s gold (iron pyrite) and wind up in the end broken, damaged, or even lifeless.  We may lose money, health, family, and our life for something that is worthless.  The main problem when considering all this is: we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Often, when you run out of gold,

you run out of friends."

Trust

 

    “Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.”  It has been often stated that relations have to be built on trust.

     But for so many individuals trust is not something that comes easily or automatically.  Although I have always meant it in jest, I have a saying when I’m purchasing food from a fast food restaurant.  I REALLY don’t like onions.  So, after I get my burger I always say: “It’s not that I don’t trust you, BUT I don’t trust you!”  Then I pry open the buns and examine the burger very closely.  Many times, I find ONE tiny onion that has tried to slip by undetected, but I find it.

      However, on a more serious note, most of us take some situations of trust for granted.  We wouldn’t get into a cab, or on a train, or even fly in an airplane if we didn’t have some measure of trust that the individual “in control” has taken their responsibilities very seriously and will exercise all precautions to keep us safe.

     Jeffry A. Simpson wrote: “Trust involves the juxtaposition of people’s loftiest hopes and aspirations with their deepest worries and fears.”  This is often the very reason we might have difficulties in trusting someone.  The very idea of letting ourselves get so close to someone as to put our highest hopes in them and yet also feeling that perhaps we will suffer great disappointment by doing so often leaves us with the inability to allow ourselves to develop the closeness that is needed to surrender to them the trust that we should.

     As written in a prior article online by Psychology Today, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201403the-trouble-trust, “This secure-base script, according to Mario Mikulincer and his colleagues, has three components:

1.      The assumption that if you need help, you can turn to someone you trust.

2.      The assumption that if you need support, your close personal friend will be there for you and happy to give it.

3.      The recognition that you will be comforted and relieved by the support you’re given.

     However, as we grow within this human society, we unfortunately discover that many times we are disappointed in our so-called “support group.”  Often those very individuals who we feel will be there for us when a difficult situation comes along, are NOT there!  And many times, it is these very ones who use our trusting characteristics to scam or defraud us when we are only trying to be helpful.

     When you learn, especially from an early age, that others can’t be trusted, you lose confidence in the value of trust all together.  Trust is the first emotional connection we make with people when we are children.  You can understand this because as a small child you are dependent upon others for everything that you need.  Your mother is generally the one who provides your comforts every moment you cry.

     However, to be blunt: people are either trustworthy or they are not!  This doesn’t necessarily mean that they are good or bad.  It just means you can’t put your trust in what they tell you or what they promise.

     Your coming to have a lack of trust in people may come about because of small things in the beginning.  Things that people don’t mean to be doing that are making impressions on your mind.  The problem begins because many people have no problem in telling those “little white lies”, (“Yes dear, there really is a Santa Clause!”) or maybe they start by stretching the truth a little (“it really was the biggest fish I’d ever seen.”), or they conveniently forget the facts (“I never said that!).

     Those types of situations teach you that people will twist the truth for their own selfish gains or to make themselves look more important in the eyes of others.  You begin to realize that you can’t completely trust anything they say and often have to question their very motives for the things they do.  In the following article notice what you can use to gauge the trustworthiness of people:

     https://www.inc.com/thomas-koulopoulos/5-sure-ways-to-identify-untrustworthy-people.html  I quote as a summary from the above reference:

1.      They lie to themselves.  One of the most striking behaviors of untrustworthy people is that they see themselves in ways that are simply inconsistent with reality.  For example, if someone constantly describes herself as a quiet person who seeks harmony, while her behavior is disruptive, arrogant, and confrontational, you’ve got a disconnect that should immediately start to raise red flags of trustworthiness.

2.      They project behaviors on you that are clearly not ones you are exhibiting.  People who are untrustworthy also have an amazingly consistent habit of accusing others of behaviors that they themselves are exhibiting or are contemplating.

3.      They breach confidentiality.  We all remember as kids swearing someone to secrecy only to have them break the promise and then rationalize it by saying, “But I only told one other person.”  [Side note:  I once had an acquaintance who would always make the statement: “I don’t have a problem keeping a secret.  It’s the people I tell who have the problem.”]  It’s easy to pick up this particular trait.  Inevitably these people will share things with you that you can tell were said to them in confidence by others.

4.      They show a lack of empathy.  This is perhaps the one shared behavior of nearly every untrustworthy person.  They are able to rationalize being untrustworthy by diminishing the impact, pain, damage, or inconvenience they cause others.

5.      Their emotional state is volatile, and they have a pattern of inconsistency and fickleness in their decisions.  If trust is missing in a person’s formative years, it creates uncertainty, doubt, and inconsistency that lingers over a person’s entire lifetime of interactions.

     You may find these five qualities within someone that you personally know.  Remember you can’t really remove them from another person.  However, if you note any (or all) these qualities within yourself you can work on making yourself into a new person.  You will become a better person for it.  It won’t be easy, but most things worthwhile are not easy.  Don’t forget also, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"If you feel you can't trust anyone,

at least trust yourself!"

Sunshine

     I was out for my morning walk when it suddenly dawned on me that I seem to start walking at a better pace once the sun begins to rise over the treetops.  I have setup a “makeshift” track on the property beside my house and every morning I get up about 6 am and walk a mile before taking my shower and having breakfast.  I always feel much better after I do this.

    It’s a funny thing in some aspects.  We’ve heard often how too such sunlight can cause skin cancer or other detrimental harm to our skin.  But the truth is we need a certain amount of sunlight to benefit our mood and other things in our lives.

     Sunlight and darkness have been proven to trigger the release of hormones in our brains. This hormone is called Serotonin.  It is associated with boosting mood and helping a person feel calm and focused.  At night, darker lighting triggers the brain to make another hormone called Melatonin which is responsible for helping us to sleep.

     This simple action of getting a balanced amount of sunlight (some authorities have suggested that as little as 15 minutes three times each week) will the body in many other ways.  The vitamin D from sunlight has been linked to helping in building stronger bones in our bodies.  Although excess sunlight can contribute to skin cancer, a moderate amount of sunlight actually has preventive benefits when it comes to cancers such as, colon cancer, Hodgkin’s lymphoma, ovarian cancer, pancreatic cancer, and prostate cancer.

     Our being exposed to a balanced amount of sunlight also helps in healing skin conditions such as psoriasis, eczema, jaundice, and acne.   A dermatologist may be able to recommend whether light treatments will benefit your specific skin concerns.

     Although studies have not been conclusive some research has shown that sunlight is linked as a potential treatment for several other conditions like rheumatoid arthritis (RA), systemic lupus erythematosus, inflammatory bowel disease, and thyroiditis.  As with many potential treatments it appears that additional research will need to be made in these areas.

     However, there is another side to this “sunshine.”  It can also make a reference to someone or something (such as a person, condition, or influence) that radiates warmth, cheer, or happiness.  Now that is something powerful to think about!

     In 1972 Stevie Wonder (musical performer) released a song entitled “You Are the Sunshine of My Life.”  The opening lyrics to that song were: “You are the sunshine of my life.  That’s why I’ll always be around.”

     Just as our physical bodies need the benefits of our sun, our emotional and spiritual bodies need the “sunshine” of those around us who are going to radiate that warmth, cheer, and happiness that we need to keep our spirits high.

     Think about it for a moment.  You know individuals who walk into a room and the whole atmosphere becomes lighter, easier to deal with.  Those types of people make our day brighter.  We look forward to seeing them come into association with us again.

    However, we also know individuals who enter a room and suddenly it seems like a dark cloud has descended over the whole room.  Everyone’s spirit drops.  You almost feel like you are ready to surrender and admit defeat! 

     I guess the question becomes: Which type of person are WE?  Do we brighten the room upon entering or do we bring in the dark cloud?  Perhaps a self-examination would be in order.  We may need to find a “trusted” friend and ask them directly: How would you describe my attitude as seen by others?

     When I was working at my secular job, I had a sign on the wall of my office behind my desk.  It read: “Everyone brings joy to this office: some when they enter, some when they leave!”  I had a few people ask: “Which one am I?”  I would usually reply: “I’m not sure.  You haven’t left yet!”

     Just remember the storm that permeates your immediate surroundings may be caused by YOU!  Seek opportunities to calm the storm and live a happier life.  You must know, however, that it may not be easy.  We’re only human!      

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"You can't control the actions of others,

but you can control those of yourself."

 

Listen

 

    At times I have been able to sit alone in my favorite chair with no one around.  The quietness becoming almost deafening to my ears.  I sit so still and for a moment, just a few, I let myself listen to the beating of my own heart.

     That relates to the quietness where you’ve heard the proverbial saying: “You can hear a pin drop!”  That’s the sound that some hear constantly within their souls as they attempt to live their daily lives.

     With so many things going on around us it is at times almost impossible to truly hear the things that are most important.  The things that we should be giving the top priority.  However, whether we can sit on a front porch and hear the melodious singing of the birds in the trees or perhaps the grasshopper making its chirping sounds at our feet (an illusion to the 1970s TV show “Kung Fu” where Master Po (Keye Luke) takes on a new young student Kwai Chang Caine (David Carradine) to train him from a “grasshopper” to become a Shaolin priest and martial arts expert), the gift of being able to listen to the sounds around us is a marvelous one indeed.

     The problem today is that many people HEAR what is going on around them or what is being said to them, but they don’t LISTEN to what is being said.  You may have experienced this truth if you have children.  There are times when you tell them something and you know they hear your voice, but by their actions they obviously were not listening to what you said.

     This is also illustrated within news reports from political figures.  They come on your TV or radio and talk for say 15-20 minutes.  You listen to what they are saying trying to understand the words that are coming out of their mouths.  Of course, I think politicians take a course on how to speak eloquently and not really say anything.  But that is another matter for discussion.

     After the politician talks, they have an individual come on to tell you what he said when you thought you had just listened to every word flowing from his/her mouth.  Then to really insult your intelligence as to listening, another person comes on the TV or radio and tells you what the politician MEANT when he said what you thought you heard!

     This world has become so crazy!  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could journey back to that relaxing moment when we found ourselves alone in our favorite chair with the silence so deafening that we could listen to our own heart beating?  That would be a blissful time to let the thundering uproar of the world around us just pass by as if it were unnoticed by the silence, we had wrapped around ourselves.  However, we would always be brought back to reality, because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"The most important of the spoken word,

Is the one that is not heard!"

Time

     I am sitting at my computer screen thinking: What is the one thing that we all have the same amount of regardless of our economic condition, our “status” in life, irrelevant to where we live, or how we live, or according to any other means we may choose to use in “rating” ourselves against others?  TIME!

     There’s 24 hours in a day.  Seven days in a week.  Twelve months in a year.  This is true for all of us!  The big question is: WHY can some people get so many more things done within this same time constraint than others?  The answer is really simple when we think about it.  It’s not how much time you have available, it’s how you use the available time you have!

     It seems that the old expression is true:  If you want to get something done give the assignment to a busy person!  Some people have learned to manage their time in a better fashion than others.  If they have a task to accomplish, they review what is required and get busy doing the job.  Let’s say for one person this particular task takes ONE hour to get done.  For another person they will take THREE hours to get the same task completed!  Why?

     If you were able to analyze their working habits you would problem find out they spent ONE hour complaining about how hard and particularly impossible the task was going to be to do.  They then spent ONE hour “debating” how they would have to make so many changes and adjustments to get the task completed.  Then after some resolve they got to work and got the job done in ONE hour!

     It’s also amazing how one individual will examine a task and break-down the necessary steps to accomplish it and then follow a systematic approach and complete each step, in order of its needs.  Another person simply cannot picture in their mind what steps are necessary or how to view the over-all task in its various components.      

   This means that some people will actually get more things done than others although we all have the same amount of time.  Quite often when we are “too busy” to get things done that should be accomplished, it is really because we don’t want to do them any way!  That’s part of our nature, because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"One High School teacher told the class:

'Time will pass, will you?'"

Confidence

 

    Confidence is the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something’s firm trust.  You need to have confidence in yourself to get many things accomplished.  That’s what I want to talk about today.  Let’s take an exercise in confidence and see how you measure up!

     No one is born with confidence! Maybe you didn’t know but confidence is a learnable skill? If you look at your life right now you will find you have had confidence in many areas. If you are honest with yourself you will also notice areas of your life where you lack confidence.  Those statements are true of every person regardless of their current position, economic standing, age, or any other factor that you may want to choose.

     For example, I walk a mile every morning and it is a huge part of my life.  I love it. However, this wasn’t always the case. When I first started walking as an exercise, I thought that I could not even get to the end of the block.  But with time and continued effort it slowly became very enjoyable to me.  If I had not ‘stayed the course” I would likely have let the discomfort of the situation force me to quit and give up.

     But I didn’t. I found several experienced individuals who were avid walkers and started to learn from them. I slowly but deliberately became stronger and more comfortable in my efforts to walk further distances. After a few short weeks, it was almost second nature to me. All of the feelings of embarrassment and inferiority had disappeared. I had developed confidence. The same way I had developed confidence when I learned to walk as a baby, when I learned to ride a bike as a young boy and when I learned how to drive a car at the age of 16.  As you look back over your life (even if it is not an extremely long one yet) you’ll find many things that you have accomplished that took time and effort.  But you were able to develop (and you continue to develop) those necessary skills and the confidence needed to get things accomplished.

     There is no trick to the development of confidence. It is a predictable process that any of us can implement for virtually any action or habit in our lives.  The real question is “Have you recognized this and applied this in your life?”

     OR have you mistakenly accused yourself of not having to ability to do something due to a lack of confidence?

     I want you to take a moment right now and mentally review your dominant thought patterns.

     Most people have at least one area in their life where they lack confidence. For some, it could be speaking in public, for others it could be meeting new people and developing relationships. Whatever it may be for you, identify what that specific area in your life is right now!

     How can you do this?  Simply follow the suggestions outlined here:

1. You have to identify a major goal that you would like to achieve
   
   
2. You have to identify where you lack confidence in terms of the obtainment of this goal. I assume you lack confidence in this area because if you did not lack confidence then you would have achieved this goal by now. So, identify what that blockage is:
   
   
1. If you’re an entrepreneur, maybe you lack confidence in presenting funding proposals to other business owners or financial institutions.
2. If you are in sales perhaps you are limiting your success by not pursuing the large accounts.
3. Maybe you are in a relationship and you are not happy with the behaviour of your partner, do you lack the confidence to ask for what you want?
   
   
3. Write at least one paragraph that describes your confidence block and your current state of mind. When you imagine yourself in this situation of low confidence, what comes up for you. Are you anxious, nervous, upset, etc… Describe your state as accurately as possible
   
   
4. Now that you are aware of your confidence blockages, you can begin to redevelop them. Define one major activity that you can implement ASAP that moves you towards your goal
   
   
1. If you have a fear of speaking, your activity could be to rehearse a 10-minute power speech in front of the mirror
2. If you struggle in sales, you could plan to practice and refine your sales presentation with a manager or senior colleague
   
   
5. Write a commitment to yourself to practice this new activity every single day for the next 30 days. If you really want to commit to this, find an accountability partner and perform the activity with them so that you have a witness.
   
   
6. At the end of 30 days, repeat step 3 again and analyse where you are in terms of confidence. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10.  Be honest.  You’re only trying to improve yourself!

     You can continue this until you reach a level that you are satisfied with when it comes to your confidence in this area of your life!

     Once you develop confidence in yourself begin to manifest confidence in others.  Often there are many things in life that we can’t accomplish on our own but will need the assistance of others.  The world has a saying: “It takes two to tango.”  If you’ve never heard that before you may want to do some research and you’ll understand what it means!

     By developing this confidence, you will find many enjoyable new activities in your life and others will be able to see the confidence you exude!

     But there is one caution I would like to mention:  Do Not confuse confidence with arrogance and pride.  Please be careful because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Never forget:  If you tell yourself you can't,

You can't!"

Figures/Facts

         Many years ago, I heard a story concerning a financial dilemma that I’d like to share with you now.

     There were three men traveling together on a trip and stopped for the night at a roadside motel.  They each wanted their own room so the desk clerk made the assignments and charged them $10 each for the night for a total of $30.  After the men had paid their charges, they went to get settled in their rooms.  The desk clerk realized that on that particular night the motel was having a special on the rates and he had overcharged the men for their rooms.

     Calling the bellhop, he gave him 5 one-dollar bills and told him to return the money to the men as an overcharge.  As the bellhop was going to the rooms, he was trying to calculate how he was going to return the money to the three men when he had 5 one-dollar bills.  As he got to the rooms, he explained to each man that the desk clerk had forgotten about the special rate for the night and they had been overcharged.  He gave each man $1 and kept the other two for himself.  

     Let’s look at the math:  Each man had paid $10, but he was given a $1 refund.  So, his net payment was $9.  If we take $9 times the 3 men, we get $27.  We add the $2 the bellhop kept and we get $29.  What happened to the other dollar?

     You can play that one out in your mind for a while.  But it goes to show that figures don’t lie, but liars’ figure!  The secret to the correct answer to the problem above is that the men didn’t pay $9 each!  It’s only presented that way with our sly calculations!

     Another consideration about the reliability of figures is how they are reported to you.  Consider this little story.

     One year there was a huge international car race held in Russia.  Because of the current political situation at the time only the United States and Russia placed entries in the race. As the story is told the United States had no difficulty in beating the Russian car. 

     However, the reporting of that event was very interesting.  Both a United States major newspaper and the Russian national paper reported on the event.  Both papers report the facts of the event; however, the manner in which the details were reported made a huge difference in the impression that people got!

     The United States paper reported as follows: “The United States vehicle entry in the international race held in Russia concluded with the US car in first place.  The Russian vehicle place last.”

     The same race in the Russian paper was reported as follows: “After the big international race held in Russia, the Russian vehicle came in 2^nd place, while the American car was next to last!”

     You can see that at times EVERYONE can be reporting the FACTS, but they can be putting their own slant on the material and giving a completely different implied understanding.

     Why do we do these types of things?  Because it is our human nature to want to make ourselves look better or if that is not possible, to make our competition look worse!  It all boils down to the fact that we’re only human!

    

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Misquote the facts often enough

and anyone will believe them."

Work

 

    Webster has a very compact and precise definition of the word “work”:  Activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something; activity that a person engages in regularly to earn a livelihood.”

     I have found it interesting over the years that I have been in the “workforce” and especially now that I am among the “retired.”  Although in all honesty I must confess that I’m not exactly sure what retirement is, because it now seems that I am busier than I was when I had a full-time secular job.

     Whatever may be the case, when I think back to some of the individuals that I had the “pleasure” of working with I think some of them must have had the wrong definition in mind about their circumstances.

     I had individuals who would “work” (that is, exert strength or faculties to do or perform something) so hard trying their best to get out of the job assignment they were suppose to be doing!  If they had exerted only HALF the efforts they were doing, they could have gotten the job finished much sooner than the way things would work out!

     Then there were those who performed only the minimal amount of “work” just to get by without really having to do the job as it had been explained to them.  Just as one example: Many years ago, I ran a 7-11 convenience store.  This was at a time when the store was actually opened from 7 am to 11 pm.  I would open the store at seven and work until 5 pm when I had a part-time person come in to relieve me and close the store at 11 pm.

     Before I would leave in the evening, I would give this person a list of things I wanted to be done during their shift, i.e., restock the shelves from the storeroom, make sure they were straight, clean the floor, etc.

     Very often when I came in to open the store the next morning, I would see that not all the things had been done.  Upon inquiring later, I was told by my helper that “they didn’t have time to get that done because they were so busy!”

      I’m not sure if they thought I was stupid or what!  I could see from the register checkout report the business I was doing during my 10 hours of work and I knew what I still had time to do during that time.  I could also see from the report the business they had done in their 6 hours of work and what they were unable to get done.  It didn’t make any sense!

    There was more available time than they wanted to admit.  But, for some reason, they were not able to get these extra work assignments completed!  You have to wonder!

     But work has always been a “funny” thing.  If you really enjoy what you are doing it’s not really work.  You’ll also find that you have no problems getting everything done that needs to be done.  And you can get it done in the time that you have available. 

     So, to really have meaningful and enjoyable work, find something that you really enjoy doing FOR FREE and find out how you can get paid to do it!  Then your work no longer becomes work but merely another enjoyable activity for you to engage in each day.

     The problem is that we usually wind up having a job that we don’t really like, working for a person that doesn’t really appreciate what we do, and having to do it with people that we would rather not be around!  Then again, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"When everyone does his/her share,

the workload becomes lighter

and more enjoyable."

Better

     Do you ever feel that things just cannot get any worse?  There have been times when my wife and I are watching the evening news and just look at each other thinking: “It can’t get any worse that what is happening now!”  Then when we wake up in the morning and turn on the morning news!  Things have gotten worse!

     Will things ever get better?  Is it even worth thinking that things are going to get better or should we merely view our present situation as the “new normal”? 

     In actuality, our hoping that things will get better usually means that we don’t want things to be as bad as they currently are.  We tell ourselves at times that when we wake up tomorrow, things will be better!  Again, what we are actually telling ourselves is that we don’t want things to continue as they presently are.

     Unfortunately, the problem is that we are looking in the wrong place in order to make things better.  Let me illustrate:  This will no doubt make more sense to the men who may be reading this, but have you ever been working on some project and what you really need at the moment is a hammer.  You look around and you can’t find one.  So, you take the pipe wrench lying on the floor and begin to use the side as a hammer to get that nail into the board. 

     You know the solution to your problem, but instead of using the proper tool for the job you try to make it work with whatever is available!  Now I also know that there are similar situations where you ladies have done something very much the same!

     This is the problem we have with trying to make things better.  We’re looking in the wrong places for solutions.  We are thereby trying to fix our own problems with whatever we have available!

     Now, what is going to happen if we look toward the correct source for solutions?  We can improve our situation; however, we will not be able to completely remove all the obstacles that are before us.  So, until such time as this occurs, we must make the best of our current situation.  We must patiently wait until the time has come for our Creator to change things himself.

     What I mean is this:  Our Creator has made a very interesting promise to us as recorded in his word, the bible.  (Jeremiah 29:11) “‘For I well know the thoughts that I am thinking toward you,’ declares Jehovah, ‘thoughts of peace, and not of calamity, to give you a future and a hope.”

     And yet most of us have failed to seek this source of peace and hope.  We would rather continue to flounder around with whatever we can find available and see if we can “fix” the situation on our own.  We continue to do these things even when we can see that they are against our own best interests!  Why do we spend our lives this way?  Why do we continue to bring sorry and pain within our lives?  In some cases, why do we actually refuse to even give consideration to the possibility that this wonderful source of peace and hope is even available to us?  In general, the answer to these and other similar questions is simple:  We’re Only Human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER 

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Almost remember:  Once you hit bottom,

you can only go up!"