End

 

     This will be the last blog post for 2020.  Many of you may be feeling like I have and thought that this year, 2020, would never come to any end.  But within a few more days that event will be taking place!

      In looking back over the year there are many things that we could consider.  It can’t be said enough about the hundreds of thousands that have lost their lives due to the corona virus.  Our hearts have to go out to the families and friends of all those who also contracted the virus, but fortunately have recovered. 

 

     The devastation, loss of lives, drop in the economy, all these and more have been circumstances that have thrown many human lives into a deep pit of despair.  Many people not only loosing their jobs, but also having to deal with the major after effects of such an event: unable to pay their rent and mortgage, caring for the needs of their families, putting food on the table, and many other things!  Anyone with an ounce of compassion has great regrets for those in those circumstances.

 

     With all the isolation and medical cautions during the majority of the year and considering the upheaval of all our lives, we may have forgotten many of the other things that happened during the year.  I’d like to provide some of those points as a reminder.  If you like to see the complete listing you can visit:  https://mashable.com/article/what-happened-2020/ The listing also includes many video clips that you might find interesting.

 

1.      Megxit happened!  Megham Markle and Prince Harry moved out of a British castle.  That broke the hearts of some people.

 

4. There were locust swarms in Africa.  So, if any of you made it to Africa during 2020, I hope you didn’t have any troubles.

 

6. Michael Bloomberg ran for president.  You see what money can do for you.

 

8. Vanessa Hudgens couldn’t understand why people dying from COVID was bad.  We were probably all a little confused at the beginning, but she did apologize later.

 

13. We thought stockpiling toilet paper would save us from the virus!  I’m thinking if you needed THAT much toilet paper you have a different BIG problem to deal with!

 

17. Trump praised the coronavirus opinions of a doctor who believes there are demons in sperm.  Maybe he was only referencing his own personal situation, who knows?

 

38. Quibi launched --- then shut down only six months and 1.75 BILLION dollars later.  Something to think about: They could get that much investment funds, but people were in desperate need of food!

 

45. Lori Loughlin went to prison.  Only because of her pride, greed, and arrogance of having her daughters in a “certain school.”

57. The Pentagon released UFO videos and no one cared.  It was probably because there were no FAMOUS people in the videos posing with the aliens.

 

     And there are others within their list that you will have to read.  Why would we be even interested in any of these things?  We’re Only Human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"To have a new beginning,

there must be an ending to the old."

Understanding

     The Merriam-Webster dictionary has a plethora of definitions for the word “understanding.” 

     1: a mental grasp: COMPREHENSION

     2a: the power of comprehending especially: the capacity to apprehend general relations of particulars

       b: the power to make experience intelligible by applying concepts and categories

     3a: a mutual agreement not formally entered into but in some degree binding on each side

       b: friendly or harmonious relationship

       c: an agreement of opinion or feeling: adjustment of differences.

     We want to think that simply by living our lives and having the various experiences we do that we will be able to understand the things that are going on around us.  I think most of us realize that that is not the case!  There are so many things that happen in this world for which we simply do not have an explanation and thereby have no true understanding.

     Take for example the ever-present nature of WAR!  We are not born with the inclination to go to war with someone.  We do not simply one day decide that this is the time for war?  War is a learned activity.  We begin by developing a dislike for some group or nation of people, which leads to our development of a hatred for them.  We then, at some point, feel that we should make the decision that THEY are not worthy of having an existence, so we “go to war!”

     The truly sad part of this development is that, when asked, most people will clearly respond with a fear of war, a real desire never have to participate in such an activity.  Most people will never want to have a war, but it happens!  That’s why we can say that there is no real understanding to this kind of behavior.

     Some people feel that they have to understand everything!  If they can’t understand it, they will never believe it.  Reminds me of the scene in “The Empire Strikes Back” (1980) when Master Yoda trains Luke Skywalker about the force.  When Luke’s fighter is sunk into the marsh and he is unable to retrieve it, Master Yoda does.  Luke is confused and says: “I don’t believe it!”  Master Yoda replies, “That is why you failed.”  You may want a reminder of this scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BrcqtC9hhw

     There are many things in this present world in which we live that most of us truly do not understand how or why these things function as they do, but this does not stop us from using and gaining benefits from them.  A couple of simply ones:  Our automobiles.  We get in them and if there is fuel, we drive off.  We rarely give thought to how that vehicle is functioning, just that it does and we can use it.  Also, consider our cell phones.  All the unbelievable things they are able to do for us.  How does your phone work?  Most of us have no idea, but using them is not a problem.  We only have to believe that what these and other marvelous inventions of man claim they will do, they WILL do, as they have promised.  We then have to learn how we are able to benefit from them even though we have no real understanding of how they are able to function as they do!

     However, in other situations we still want to completely understand BEFORE we are willing to believe.  The problem is that there are things that we, as humans, may never fully understand, but we can still gain benefits from them if we prepare ourselves for them.  Consider 1 Corinthians 2:9 from the Bible: “But just as it is written: “Eye has not seen and ear has not heard, nor have there been conceived in the heart of man the things that God has prepared for those who love him.””

     It always seems to be our present condition that holds us back from what will truly be the best conditions every that man will be able to enjoy.  When it concerns the power of God, we become like Luke Skywalker, “I don’t believe it!”  And that is “why we fail!”  We’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"It's difficult to respond with an answer

if you do not understand the question!"

Change

 

     “There is nothing more constant than change!”  You may have heard that expression before, but did you know that it was first spoken by Heraclitus in 535 BC!  What was this Greek philosopher actually talking about?

      According to Heraclitus of Ephesus his doctrine was stating that change is the central theme to the universe.  So, if change is a constant and is inevitable to occur, when do we know when it is time to change?  The answer is pretty obvious.  You don’t!  We simply change whether or not we are conscious of it.  Everything about a person, from their thoughts to their physique changes from moment to moment.  Beliefs, values, morals; all these, change ever so slightly in the face of new information absorbed by your brain on a daily basis.  Let me give you a simple but effective illustration.

 

     When you were a small child and given the opportunity to have your choice of a dime or a nickel, you would almost always choose the nickel.  Why?  Because in your mind and with the knowledge you had, the nickel MUST be a better choice because it was bigger!  However, as you grew older and presumably more cognizant of the value of money, you would choose the dime because you now understand that the dime was worth more in value even though it was smaller in size.

 

     Change had taken place within you even though you perhaps didn’t realize it at the time.  Those and other changes continue to be made each and every day of our lives!

 

     You’ve probably also heard the phrase “You can’t go home again.”  This is the title of a novel written by Thomas Wolfe and published posthumously in 1940.  “The novel tells the story of George Webber, a fledgling author, who writes a book that makes frequent references to his home town of Libya Hill which was actually Asheville, North Carolina.  George Webber has written a successful novel about his family and hometown.  When he returns to that town, he is shaken by the force of outrage and hatred that greets him.  Family and lifelong friends feel naked and exposed by what they have seen in his books, and their fury drives him from his home.”  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You_Can%27t_Go_Home_Again

 

     What this helps us to realize is that we CAN’T go back to a place where we once lived or perhaps were employed, or went to school, or had done anything else.  The reason being that WE are not the same person we were at the time we were there, nor is the place from which we have left!  Everything has changed!

 

     Have you ever been able to return to your home town, to the house in which you grew up as a child?  Once there you begin to notice that the house isn’t as big as you remember it being.  The neighborhood is not the same as when you recall the children (and you) playing in the streets after school or perhaps even into the early evening.  The people and the area have changed, so much!  The corner drug store where you used to sit after school and drink a milkshake with your friends is now a dentist office.  The local fast-food place where you had always met with your classmates on a Friday or Saturday night has been torn down and is now an empty lot.  Even the large empty field where the guys would get together for a game of soccer or baseball or football is now a parking lot for a small strip mall!  All these things and more have changed over the years.  You cannot recapture the way things were in the past!

 

     There are so many things in our lives that change over the years, some for the better and some for the worst.  Most of these things we are unable to change or our circumstances don’t allow us the opportunity to make the changes that we would perhaps like to.

 

     But, within our lives there are some things about ourselves, some things within us; our habits, our way of live, our thoughts and our dreams, that we can change if we so desire to do so.  These are the things that may truly define who we are, what we are to become.  Will we make the changes that are necessary to make us a better person, even to perhaps make an improvement in the life of someone else?  These are the decisions that we will have to consider for any change to become a reality.  Our greatest hurdle to making these changes is the fact that we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Change within produces change without."

Smiles

 

     Have you ever given thought to your smile?  Some people work very hard to have those perfectly parted lips and those shiny white, pearly teeth to express their inner emotion of happiness or adulation.  But, really, how important is a smile?  I used to tell my children, “Keep smiling.  Then people can only guess what you are up to!”  Sometime I think they tried to use that sheepish grin to get something passed their mother and me.

 

     A smile is formed primarily by flexing the muscles at the sides of the mouth. Some smiles include a contraction of the muscles at the corner of the eyes, an action known as a Duchenne smile. Among humans, a smile expresses pleasure, sociability, happiness, joy or amusement.

 

     Several years ago, my wife and I had the pleasure to travel to Paris, France and to London, England for a religious assembly.  Upon returning one of the questions we were most often asked was “How did you get along not being able to speak the language?”  I guess that some had forgotten that in England they DO speak English, which is very close to American!  Anyway, I would generally tell them that my SMILE got me by regardless of the language barrier!

 

     In 1924 a study was done that showed us there are 19 types of smiles.  You may find it enjoyable reading about this study and the various types of smiles at http://www.mashupcorner.com/did-you-know-there-are-19-types-of-smile/

 

     However, to show you the variety that this study exposed, they are:

 

1.      Duchenne smile

2.      Fear smile

3.      Miserable smile

4.      Damp smile

5.      Embarrassed smile

6.      Qualifier smile

7.      Contempt smile

8.      The malicious joy

9.      Fake smile

 

     You are probably going to be as disappointed as I was when you get to the article and find out that it only lists 9 types of smiles.  I couldn’t figure out if they forgot to include the other ten or if there was an error in the title of the article???  I think you may also enjoy the article at https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20170407-why-all-smiles-are-not-the-same#:~:text=Of%2019%20different%20types%20of,or%20that%20we've%20lost.  It might give you more details on our smiles.

 

     Many times, we smile because we are happy.  But there are times when we smile for many other reasons.  Often those times may be simply because we feel it socially expected!  We smile because we think that others are waiting for us to do so!

 

     We are some of the strangest creatures!  Perhaps most of us don’t have that “Mona Lisa” smile, or maybe we’re not the type to have that slight smile that suddenly erupts into a huge, boisterous laugh!  But being able to smile in various situations is within all of us.  Why?  Because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"SMILE

It costs you nothing to give it away!"

Laughter

      They say that no matter what the situation may be that or regardless of what we are going through that laugher’s the best medicine.  What does that really mean? 

     According to https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/laughter-best-medicine consider the following: “The field of medicine has long recognized the importance of humor. In the 1300s, Henri de Mondeville, a professor of surgery, propagated post-operative therapy with humor.⁵ Norman Cousins, a journalist and a professor, also initiated this trend when he developed his own “treatment,” based on mood elevation through laughter.  According to Cousins, ten minutes of laughter resulted in two hours of pain free sleep.”

 

     That article went on to include: “Freud postulated that humor works by condensation and displacement and believed that cultivating a sense of humor could lift repression.¹² When used appropriately, humor can have a place in therapy for generalized anxiety disorder, depression, and social anxiety. It can be a part of interpersonal therapy and CBT.⁴ Humor in CBT can help patients reframe their maladaptive thoughts, elevate mood, and overcome perceived obstacles.”

 

    Have you ever wondered WHY we laugh?  There have been found so many reasons but of interest to me was a point that I had never heard highlighted in the article https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-we-laugh/ as follows: “Humans start laughing as early as 3 months into life, even before we can speak. This is true even for babies who are deaf or blind. Peekaboo, it turns out, is particularly a global crowd-pleaser. And we know this because studying baby laughter is an actual job, too.”

 

     https://www.forbes.com/sites/daviddisalvo/2017/06/05/six-science-based-reasons-why-laughter-is-the-best-medicine/?sh=400b707a7f04 provides a listing of six reasons why laughter is the best medicine.  They are:

1.       Laughter is a potent endorphin releaser. One of the most recent studies on laughter shows that laughing with others releases endorphins in the brain—our homegrown feel-good chemicals—via opioid receptors. The more opioid receptors a given person has in their brain, the more powerful the effect. Highly addictive opioid drugs, like heroin, also bind to those receptors, suggesting that laughter induces euphoria not unlike a narcotic (minus the obvious drawbacks).

      2.       Laughter contagiously forms social bonds. The endorphin effect described above also               explains why social laughter is so contagious. Spreading endorphin release through groups             promotes a sense of togetherness and safety. Each brain in a social unit is a transmitter of               those feelings, which triggers the feel-goods in other brains via laughter. It’s like a game of          endorphin dominoes. That’s why when someone starts laughing, others will laugh even if              they’re not sure what everyone is laughing about.

     3.      Laughter fosters brain connectivity. Not all laughter is the same, and it turns out that                 decoding a laugh is more challenging than it seems. One study found differences in how we           perceive, for example, joyous laughter versus taunting laughter versus tickling laughter, each         of which activates connections between different brain regions. What this all amounts to is             that laughter fosters rigorous brain-region connectivity that kicks in when we hear a laugh, as      our brains work to decipher what sort of communication is coming through.

      4.      Laughter is central to relationships. A study showed that women laughed about 126%                more than their male counterparts, while men seem to instigate laughter the most—and                  there’s an interesting application of those results to how relationships form and are                        maintained. Women typically rate a sense of humor as a top-three trait for a potential mate.            Men tend to rate women who laugh a lot (i.e. laugh at their jokes) higher than those who               don't.  It's no surprise, then, that couples who laugh together report having higher-quality               relationships. Laughter is a nonnegotiable for all involved.

5.      Laughter has an effect similar to antidepressants. Laughing activates the release of the neurotransmitter serotonin, the same brain chemical affected by the most common types of antidepressants, SSRIs. It’s not clear from the research how long this effect sticks around, but the burst of brain activity laughing triggers is undoubtedly potent, at least for short periods of time.

      6.      Laughter protects your heart. Research has shown that laughter has an anti-inflammatory           effect that protects blood vessels and heart muscles from the damaging effects of                            cardiovascular disease. How this happens isn't entirely understood, but it seems related to              lessening the body’s stress response, which is directly linked to increased inflammation.                Regular, hearty laughter should probably be part of every heart disease prevention program.

     All I know is that there have been some comedians who have made me have the biggest laughs simply by walking out onto the stage.  One from the past was Tim Conway, most notably known from his appearances on the Carol Burnett Show.  Whenever he was in a skit, he would walk out and before doing anything I would be almost doubled over in laughter simply by thinking about what he was going to do!

     I guess that is simply part of nature!  Remember: We’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"It is said that being able to laugh at yourself is good medicine.

Besides, think of all the people you are leaving alone 

when you do that!"

Dreams

      We probably all have them although many people are unable to recall them the next day.  Yet there are a lot of people, like myself, who do recall their dreams very vividly.  In fact, in a discussion with my brother a few weeks ago, I discovered that both he and I dream in color and can recall the details of those dreams.

     Now a real question that many people have, and I think it is a very valid question, is “WHY do we dream?”

 

     There are many theories about why we dream, but no one knows for sure.  So, it would truly depend upon who you talked to and THEIR view of dreaming as to what type of answer you would get about dreaming.  Some researchers say dreams have no purpose or meaning.  While others say we need to dream for our mental, emotional, and physical health.

 

     Interestingly, reports on studies done concerning the importance of our need to dream were highlighted on webmd.com in their article https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/dreaming-overview .

 

     “In one study, researchers woke people just as they were going into REM sleep. They found that those who weren’t allowed to dream had:

• More tension
• Anxiety
• Depression
• A hard time concentrating
• Lack of coordination
• Weight gain
• A tendency to hallucinate

Many experts say dreams exist to:

• Help solve problems in our lives
• Incorporate memories
• Process emotions

If you go to bed with a troubling thought, you may wake with a solution or at least feel better about the situation.

Some dreams may help our brains process our thoughts and the events of the day. Others may just be the result of normal brain activity and mean very little, if anything. Researchers are still trying to figure out exactly why we dream.”

     A question that I have often wondered is “Can we control our dreams?”  Scientific American conducted an interview with Deirdre Barrett, author of the book “The Committee of Sleep: How Artists, Scientists and Athletes Use Dreams for Creative Problem-Solving – and How You Can, Too.”  Within that interview they asked the following https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-control-dreams/ :

     “Given that there's higher-level thinking going on in our dreams, to what extent can we control them?

      That we can control our own dreams is quite true and really much more so than people seem to know or realize. The details of how to do it are very different depending on whether you're trying to induce lucid dreams, whether you're trying to dream about particular content or whether you're trying to dream a solution to a particular personal or objective problem. Another really common application has been influencing nightmares, especially recurring post-traumatic nightmares—either to stop them or turn them into some sort of mastery dream.”

     Within the scope of this blog article, I am not going to try and dazzle you with any technobabble about what our dreams mean.  But we all know there are times when our dreams become nightmares and we often are suddenly awakened from our sleep because of the fear and deep anxiety of the subject matter of our dreams.  And I am not trying to belittle any who may have serious issues because of problems with dreams.  I am merely seeking to have us all reflect on the fact that the majority of us dream.  The truth of the matter is that we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"It's not wrong to dream,

but nothing gets done if you stay asleep."

Reliving

 

     Our minds are marvelous creations.  We are able to “search” within them and recall events from the past.  We can remember locations, people, smells, and sounds that have affected our lives from many years ago!

      It is something truly amazing to be able to relax on our front porch or in our lawn swing and let our minds journey back to the “yesteryears” of our youth.  Can you recall some of the things you used to do with your neighborhood friends that would keep you engaged for hours in make-believe fantasy?  Perhaps you have some of your childhood friends who have remained very close to you over the years.  How enjoyable to sit around together and reminisce about those antics from so long ago!

 

     There are probably times that when you recount these things together you learn that your friends remember the events a bit differently from the way you recall them.  Our minds tend to want us to remember only the “good” parts of our life experiences so that we are exempt from any activities that might have caused us pain, fear, or some other form of displeasure.  We want to relive the exciting events of our past and not be tormented by any tragic circumstances that we might have experienced.

 

     There are, however, times when it seems that our minds want us to justify ourselves over some past events, perhaps wanting to punish us in some way because of how we dealt with an event, or perhaps because we didn’t deal with the event the way our mind feels we should have.  Now we are plagued by reliving these events in our minds and being condemned because of them.  Or perhaps the events were so traumatic to us that our minds cannot let us “move on” as it were with the present events of our life.

 

     Are there some efforts we can take to remove these memories from our minds so that we are no longer having to deal with them over and over?  According to goodtherapy.org there is!  In their article at https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/four-steps-to-erasing-trauma-of-painful-memories-061214 they list four steps that you can take in erasing the memories of such traumatic events.

1.     Have a positive experience.

 Step 1 activates a positive mental state, and steps 2, 3, and 4 install it in your brain. In step 1 we notice a positive experience that’s already present in the foreground or background of your awareness. In the example I offered at the beginning, I tuned into an experience where I felt safe and supported, and brought to mind experiences of safety and security.

2.                  Enrich it.

 Too often we spend minutes, and sometimes hours and days, ruminating over a negative experience, but we gloss over the positive. Here we take time to deepen the positive experience. I would open myself to the feelings of support I have in my life. I would picture my wife and friends and the many supports I have, filling my inner conscious with at least 10 to 20 seconds of positive memory.

3.                  Absorb it.

 Here we imagine ourselves drinking in the experience. I imagine all my cells being infused with the experience. I feel it sinking into me and becoming part of my brain and all the parts of my being.

4.                  Link positive and negative material.

 Hanson (Rick Hanson, neuropsychologist in his book "Hardwiring Happiness: The new Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence") https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/unlocking-negativity-bias-interview-with-rick-hanson/ describes this as an optional step. We don’t want to become overwhelmed by the negative, but to hold the negative in consciousness while it is infused with the positive. Hanson uses the image of a garden. We imagine the beauty of beautiful flowers we are planting. We become aware of the weeds and gently pull them out so there’s room for growth. He concludes by saying, “Whenever you want, let go of all negative material and rest only in the positive. Then, to continue uprooting the negative material, a few times over the next hour be aware of only neutral or positive things that may have been associated with the negative.

     My feelings have no scientific source of affirmation, but I think the entirety of the situation with our minds guilting us, causing us moments of agonizing pain and sorrow, can be summed up in my usual way: We’re Only Human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"When you can't relive the happiness of the past, 

you are tormented by reliving the trauma it brought."