No
one is born with confidence! Maybe you didn’t know but confidence is a
learnable skill? If you look at your life right now you will find you have had confidence
in many areas. If you are honest with yourself you will also notice areas of
your life where you lack confidence.
Those statements are true of every person regardless of their current
position, economic standing, age, or any other factor that you may want to
choose.
For example, I walk a mile every morning
and it is a huge part of my life. I love
it. However, this wasn’t always the case. When I first started walking as an
exercise, I thought that I could not even get to the end of the block. But with time and continued effort it slowly
became very enjoyable to me. If I had
not ‘stayed the course” I would likely have let the discomfort of the situation
force me to quit and give up.
But I didn’t. I found several experienced individuals
who were avid walkers and started to learn from them. I slowly but deliberately
became stronger and more comfortable in my efforts to walk further distances.
After a few short weeks, it was almost second nature to me. All of the feelings
of embarrassment and inferiority had disappeared. I had developed confidence.
The same way I had developed confidence when I learned to walk as a baby, when
I learned to ride a bike as a young boy and when I learned how to drive a car
at the age of 16. As you look back over
your life (even if it is not an extremely long one yet) you’ll find many things
that you have accomplished that took time and effort. But you were able to develop (and you
continue to develop) those necessary skills and the confidence needed to get
things accomplished.
There is no trick to the development of
confidence. It is a predictable process that any of us can implement for
virtually any action or habit in our lives.
The real question is “Have you recognized this and applied this in your
life?”
OR have you mistakenly
accused yourself of not having to ability to do something due to a lack of
confidence?
I want you to take a moment right now and
mentally review your dominant thought patterns.
Most people have at least one area
in their life where they lack confidence. For some, it could be speaking in
public, for others it could be meeting new people and developing relationships.
Whatever it may be for you, identify what that specific area in your life is right
now!
How can you do this? Simply follow the suggestions outlined here:
- You have to identify a major goal that you would
like to achieve
- You have to identify where you lack confidence in
terms of the obtainment of this goal. I assume you lack confidence in this
area because if you did not lack confidence then you would have achieved
this goal by now. So, identify what that blockage is:
- If you’re an entrepreneur, maybe you lack
confidence in presenting funding proposals to other business owners or
financial institutions.
- If you are in sales perhaps you are limiting
your success by not pursuing the large accounts.
- Maybe you are in a relationship and you are not
happy with the behaviour of your partner, do you lack the confidence to
ask for what you want?
- Write at least one paragraph that describes your
confidence block and your current state of mind. When you imagine yourself
in this situation of low confidence, what comes up for you. Are you
anxious, nervous, upset, etc… Describe your state as accurately as
possible
- Now that you are aware of your confidence
blockages, you can begin to redevelop them. Define one major activity that
you can implement ASAP that moves you towards your goal
- If you have a fear of speaking, your activity
could be to rehearse a 10-minute power speech in front of the mirror
- If you struggle in sales, you could plan to
practice and refine your sales presentation with a manager or senior
colleague
- Write a commitment to yourself to practice this
new activity every single day for the next 30 days. If you really want to
commit to this, find an accountability partner and perform the activity
with them so that you have a witness.
- At the end of 30 days, repeat step 3 again and analyse
where you are in terms of confidence. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10. Be honest. You’re only trying to improve yourself!
You can continue this until you reach a
level that you are satisfied with when it comes to your confidence in this area
of your life!
Once you develop confidence in yourself
begin to manifest confidence in others.
Often there are many things in life that we can’t accomplish on our own
but will need the assistance of others.
The world has a saying: “It takes two to tango.” If you’ve never heard that before you may want
to do some research and you’ll understand what it means!
By developing this confidence, you will
find many enjoyable new activities in your life and others will be able to see
the confidence you exude!
But there is one caution I would
like to mention: Do Not confuse
confidence with arrogance and pride.
Please be careful because we’re only human!
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