Remove Weaknesses From Your Life

 

    You’ve heard me say practically every blog post that it is our human frailties that are usually the primary culprit in our many problems.  These frailties are because of our inherited human weaknesses.  Everyone has weaknesses. We’re born with them. We grow with them. Often, we have to live with them.  But there are ways we can lose them, can develop them, and then lose them all over again if that becomes necessary. It’s part of the growing experience.

So, if you’re trying to pass off your life as one with no weaknesses, you may be having a tough time. It takes time to get to a point where you graduate your attributes from weak ones to strong ones, but it is 100% possible. Start with a few simple ways to weed the weaknesses out of your life.

1.      Make it a Priority

When you zoom out and get the big picture, then really think about your weaknesses, you can put them on paper and make yourself a list. YES, write them all down. So you can plainly see: THIS is my weakness! That way you can begin to attack your list as if it were a to-do list giving priority to the weaknesses which are causing you the most problems. These are definitive attributes that can be improved or changed, so why not go for it?  

2.      Learn from Others

Never forget that when it comes to weaknesses: You are not alone here. You’re certainly not the only person who has had or will ever have this weakness. You have tons of people to look up to and learn from, so use this to your advantage. Find someone who has similar weaknesses or similar habits as you. Ask them questions. Learn from them. After a careful pondering of the information they provide you that has worked for them, consider if it’s right for you!  Then, apply it to your situation.

3.      Think About What You Cannot See

Have you ever received criticism from someone and been completely shocked? Sometimes we don’t realize our weaknesses until it is brought to our attention. If you’re starting on a self-improvement project, try asking your friends and family what they think you can improve about yourself.  Make sure they understand that you want their honest opinions, so you can work on making self-improvement changes.  Also, make sure you’re prepared to take their comments as a reflection of their love and concern for you and realize that they want to help you.

4.      Take it a Step Further

Weaknesses are not surface level, so they shouldn’t be treated that way. If you have a hard time speaking in public, there is likely a deeper-seated issue causing that surface-level weakness. If you don’t like to do your work on time, there’s probably something triggering that. When you analyze your weaknesses, don’t just think about how you want to improve them. Think about why they are there in the first place. Ask yourself questions like “Why do I really feel this way?” or “Have I always felt this way?” Get to the crux of your weakness, and then work to crush it.  In some cases it might prove a bit painful at first, but it is something that needs to be done in order for you to weed out those weaknesses.

5.      Recognize that Strengths Always Trumps Weaknesses

No matter what your strengths are or what your weaknesses are, the good always trumps the bad. Don’t be too hard on yourself throughout this process. You have so many good things going for you, so don’t let yourself forget about those. When you’re asking your loved ones about your weaknesses, ask about your strengths also. When you’re making a list of things you want to improve about yourself, make a list about the things you pride yourself on. Keep up the morale and push through!

It may not be an easy assignment, but the results will be well worth your efforts.  Within this struggle of self-improvement you will have successes and you will have those moments of failure. Continue to work on the failures until they too become successes.  Just always keep in mind; however, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"For when I am weak,

then I am powerful."

[2 Corinthians 12:10]

Add Self-Care to Your Day

 

      Maybe you are like many of us and you take part of the day to review and prepare for all the things you are going to need to get done in tomorrow’s schedule! Have you ever paused for a moment and thought: “Where do I fit into that day?”

      If you’re like most people you’re pretty busy.  You’re already dealing with work, relationships, and a whole lot of day-to-day activities.  You’re running in every direction at once.  How in the world are you supposed to fit self-care into a day like that?  Thankfully, it’s easier than you think.  Try these five simple suggestions to add self-care into your busy day and you may be surprised at the results you can obtain.

 

Ask Some Important Questions

 

     Self-care isn’t always about over-indulging yourself.  Taking the day off to go hunting, fishing, swimming, to the saloon, or whatever you might consider to be indulging.  Truly, at its core, self-care is more practical than you might think.  You may be pondering the idea that working self-care into your daily routine is going to become very time consuming on your already tight schedule.  However, all you need to initial do is ask yourself a few questions about what you need right now!  Meeting these basic needs should be at the center of self-care.

 

Map it Out

 

     Think about all the things you do now in your busy daily schedule.  Do they simply happen by chance?  Or have you been very meticulous about planning them out and scheduling a time for them within your daily routine?  Self-care is no different!  It doesn’t happen by chance.  Unless you are intentional, you will never make time for it.  By making use of your calendar and scheduling time for yourself you are more likely to succeed in meeting your basic needs.  Start small by building in the habits which will help you the most.  You can begin by adding in regular exercise  dates, perhaps several days a week, or by making a meal plan to help you eat healthier.  As you achieve one goal, add in another.  The key is not to overwhelm yourself all at once in the beginning, but to steadily build yourself up as you go along.

 

Figure Out What Comes First

 

     How are you when it comes to priorities?  If you’re like most people, just deciding where to begin can be difficult.  Here you need to figure out the difference between important and urgent.  If something is important and not urgent, you can add it to your schedule.  If something is urgent and not important, give it to someone else to do.  But if something is urgent and important, do that first.  Never confuse that which you’d like to do with that that needs to be done!

 

Learn to Say “NO!”

 

     If you have gained life’s experiences for any length of time, you already know that it is generally easier to do things yourself instead of trying to explain them to others or have others do them the way you want them done.  You should never feel like you have to say “yes” to everything.  Sometimes the best form of self-care is learning how to say “no.”  This may be at your place of employment or it may be within your family, or even with your friends.  By setting solid boundaries, you protect yourself from activities which will only leave you drained and give you no benefit at all!

 

Do the Small Stuff

 

     Somebody should take care of that matter!  Anybody can do it!  Yet, in most cases, NOBODY gets it done!  We think the little things don’t matter.  BUT THEY DO!  By ensuring you take care of the basics such as making sure you get enough sleep, practicing good hygiene, eating right and exercising, you will keep your body in tiptop form.  These things also have a solid impact on your mental health.

 

     When we get busy, we tend to forget all these things so easily.  When you’re making an effort to take care of yourself, you have to be intentional in what you do.  Remembering these 5 suggestions will go a long way toward keeping you healthy and happy no matter how busy you get.  But, don’t be too hard on yourself if it takes you some time to get these priorities to become part of your daily routine, and never forget, we’re only human!  

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"If you don't take care of yourself,

how can you take care of others?"

Exercise for Success

 

     You think about what things are going to be like in the future.  You see yourself in the position as a successful business owner or perhaps merely accomplishing all your personal goals to consider yourself successful.  You have a lot of energy and are full of visions of making those dreams become realities. You want to succeed in life. But how can you when you’re not moving?

     Oh, sure, you’ve got some great ideas about what you want to do. You’re probably even working toward them. You might even have the entire future laid out in a precise roadmap and are busy ticking off each item on the list. But consider this: you’re still failing if you’re not fit.  That’s being not only physically fit, but also mentally in shape!

     In short, you need to exercise your body and your mind.  Why is exercise so important to success?

1.     Exercise Helps You Practice Skills You Need Elsewhere

     You’re never going to succeed if you haven’t set up some serious goals and added them to your schedule. People who exercise are used to doing both things already. In fact, this kind of dedicated planning is probably already second nature.  Not only laying a plan of attack on your goals, but actually putting those plans into action.

2.     Exercise Invites You to Go Deep

     Feeling a little burned out, or bogged down by bad habits? Both of these problems fade with exercise. When working out, you give your mind a chance to rest. Better yet, the healthy brain chemicals triggered by activity, such as dopamine, replace malaise with a feel-good kind of reaction instead. You get into the zone and can let your mind run free, exploring new thoughts and ideas while growing more fit and healthy with each step. Many a knotty problem has been worked out while working out.  Don’t forget to also take the time to exercise your mind on gaining a proper mindset to tackle your physical activities.

3.     Exercise Drops Stress

     No, you can’t tell the people around you what you really think of them. But exercise gives you a safe outlet to burn off anger, rage, frustration, grief or a host of other emotions aroused by others throughout the day. This clears your mind to get you back on track with what’s important.  This will help to keep you focused on the main goals that you have put before yourself.

4.     Exercise Builds You Up

     When you’re working out, you can’t help but feel better about yourself. After all, the very act of exercise makes your body feel good instead of lethargic and heavy. As a result, your self-talk shifts. You become more positive in what you say, and even more optimistic about outcomes, especially as you see yourself realizing exercise goals. You visualize success.  You visualize YOU being successful!

5.     Exercise Keeps You on Schedule

     When chasing goals, it’s really easy to keep working without stopping. This will eventually kill you if you’re not careful. By taking an exercise break, you put a stop to the day and remind yourself there’s a lot more to life than work. This helps keep you in balance so you can return to your hopes and dreams with a more rested mind tomorrow.  There are more people in your life than yourself.  Don’t forget to give them some of your time also.

     Without your health, you’re never going to truly be able to achieve anything. In the end, the most significant benefit to your future success through exercise comes from the fact you’re healthier overall - - - both physically and mentally!  Period! So, get moving, be consistent, and have fun. Success is out there waiting for you.  Just don’t forget - - - we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"To keep your mental and physical

abilities sharp, they have to be used regularly!"

Be Your Best at Work

      Most of us have some type of secular employment, whether that is by working for someone else or by operating our own business.  There are times when we may be extremely proficient at the type of work, we do but we may lack a general conception of how to function within a mixed work environment.

      Being your best at work means not only putting your best foot forward but also continually working to better yourself. This doesn’t always mean turning in the best project or attending all the professional developments. Keep reading to learn basic ways you can show up with your best at work every day.  This will not only benefit YOU, but all around you during the work day will enjoy a more productive work situation.

1.      Get to Know Your Colleagues

     Learning about your colleagues has many benefits. You don’t have to be out to make friends, but learning about others can benefit you in many ways. First, it shows you care, and people like it when people are considerate. Second, it will help you find things in common that you can come back to when work gets tough. Finally, getting to know people will help you learn how to work better. Derek prefers exact instructions and asks lots of questions, while Suzy is a big-picture type of person who tends to skip over minor details. Getting to know means learning how to work better with those around you.  This also applies to getting to understand the various vendors that you may have to deal with during a work day.

 

2.      Don’t Be a Gossip

     No one likes an office gossip, except maybe the other office gossips. Getting caught up in drama can be a distraction and can earn you a bad reputation with your coworkers and supervisors. You want to be someone that can be trusted with information. Keep your business to yourself and remember, loose lips sink ships.  It may seem like a little thing to you, but to others revealing privately shared information may be devastating.

 

3.      Stretch Your Skill Set

     Stretching your skills as well as learning new ones allows you to continue growing your tool bag. This will make you a more valuable team member and will help you if you ever decide to look for a new position elsewhere.  With business practices and technology constantly changing, it is a necessity that you keep advancing in your personal growth in order to keep up with business needs.

 

4.      Become a Mentor

     Mentoring can be done in and outside of the office. The new intern that is lost? Take that person under your wing and help them find their way. You will be a valuable friend and show that you are willing to help others. You can also do outreach in your profession in schools and other community programs.  There are many ways you can share the knowledge and skills that you have learned over the years.  The wisdom of maturity can be planted in the minds and hearts of those following in your footsteps.

 

5.      Be a Friend

     You don’t have to be BFFs with every person in the office but be friendly. Ask how others are doing, encourage, start a meal train if someone is sick or on parental leave. Not only will others appreciate and remember your kindness, but they will be willing to return the favor if the need arises.  There is never enough kindness in the world.  This is not to say that you have to be the “go-to” person for everyone around you, but it doesn’t cost you anything to be kind and considerate of others.

      Being your best at work is not something that you can achieve in a day. It’s a constant stream of small and conscious decisions that you will make daily. These decisions will build upon each other and allow you to create a work culture and life that will be fulfilling and beneficial.  It will help people view you as a person they WANT to work with and be around.  Be patient with yourself as you create this type of work environment around you and never forget, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Let your light shine ---

be kind to others."

Express Your Emotions

      It doesn’t matter where you are, who you are with, or what you are doing.  Sooner or later, someone is going to ask you “How are you?”  It seems it is an evitable situation you will have to face.  However, it seems that “How are you?” has shifted from a point of conversation to a meaningless reflex. If you think about how many times you ask that question every day, you may realize it’s no longer achieving its point.  “How are you?” could open up a can of worms. It could allow for meaningful discussion. It could give you the opportunity to talk about your psyche.  It could do many different things!

     But so often, people respond like robots: “I’m good. How are you?” It becomes a pointless conversation –a mere exchange of wasted words. Instead, we could use it as an opportunity to get to know someone better or to express how we’re really feeling. There are many benefits of being comfortable with expressing your emotions; here are five of them!

Be Free (and Free Others, Too)

     You don’t realize it, but when you stifle your emotions, you stifle your freedom. You should feel free to express yourself at every phase of life. As soon as you allow yourself to be comfortable with your true self and your true feelings, you open up the door for others to be comfortable with you, too.  Oh, so often people will hide behind the guise of not really sharing how they feel or what they’re really thinking.  This facade hinders others from truly getting to know you or you knowing them. 

Tear Down Your Fears

  If you’re afraid of showing your emotions, stand up to them. Tell them that you’re not scared of them. Those feelings may be new and utterly foreign to you, but by confronting them, you’re tearing down the sense of fear.  You might discover a great release of pressure upon yourself if you simply be YOU!  And others will come to know who you really are.  Your relationships with others will become REAL!  Not simply pretending to be someone you’re not!

Be Authentic to Yourself

     So, you need to let others see the real “you”.  This person comes with all of the feelings and emotions you’re experiencing. Be true to that, and don’t let the feelings get in the way. You may feel like your true self is one that doesn’t come with baggage – that would be great, but no one is like that! We all come with our “good” qualities and our “bad”, and in order to honor the authentic “you,” you need to be able to express your emotions openly and honestly and deal with them in the light of day.

Add Flavor to Your Life

     Believe it or not, being more honest and expressive can help you live life more to the full. It allows you to be you and to enjoy who you are more. If you’re stifling your feelings or being ashamed of them, you’re not living life to the fullest. Add flavor to your life by showing who you really are.

Get Closer to Others

     Everyone feels emotions on different levels. No one knows precisely what you’re going through, but people can relate to some degree. When you open up to others, you get closer to them. You can bond over shared emotions, or you can ask them for advice on your situation. Either way, intimacy, and friendship are always enhanced when you’re able to open up more.  When you open your heart and share your feelings with others, you are building a bridge of great strength to support many wonderful relationships in the future.

     The next time someone says, “How are you?” think twice about your answer. Your reflex may be to say you’re good, but maybe if you tell them how you really are (exhausted, over-the-moon, nervous, excited, etc.), you’ll have a more in-depth conversation with them – and you’ll free yourself to be able to talk about how you really feel!

     This may not be easy and it may take time to become comfortable in sharing your feelings because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Sometimes the hardest person to be is YOU!"

Imagine Success

     What comes to your mind when you think of SUCCESS?  You may begin to think of people you personally know or have heard about that you think of as successful.  Of the people you think of it may depend upon what areas of life that you feel produce successful people.  I mean, if you think they come from business you may think of Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Oprah Winfrey, Henry Ford, and Steve Jobs to name but a few.  If you are more the athletic type you ay have thoughts of Pele, Michael Phelps, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Michael Jordon, or Tom brady depending upon what sporting activity you are fondest of.  If science is your thing, it could be Sir Isaac Newton, Edward Jenner, Louis Pasteur, Albert Einstein or one we’ll never be able to live without --- Tim Berners Lee, English creator of the world wide web!  You may have your own big dreams of success and whatever that means to you. Everyone has their dreams!

     Whether you want to be winning an Olympic medal or making your first million, you can use the power of visualization to make your dreams of success a reality.

1.      Picture Yourself Winning

     Just wanting to be successful isn’t enough. You have to be able to taste your success. Picture yourself being offered that promotion, being congratulated by friends and family, seeing your new business cards.

     Make your success as real and detailed as you can. How good does it feel?  If YOU can’t see yourself in a successful position, how is anyone else going to be able to see you as successful?

2.      Find Your Trigger

     Finding your own personal success trigger can be a powerful way to keep the momentum going and your energy high. Write down your big goal, whether it’s winning an Oscar or scholarship, or running your own business. Make it a positive statement that is straightforward and concise. For example, “I will be promoted to Vice President next year.”

     Look at your trigger statement every day. Maybe make it your computer wallpaper or your smartphone’s lock screen. When Jim Carrey was a young actor trying to make it big, he famously wrote himself a $10million check dated far into the future. When that day came, he was offered $10million for his role in Dumb and Dumber.

     Remember that story when you see your trigger statement and think of how good it will feel to achieve your goal.

3.      Create A Vision Board

     Vision boards help to make your dreams concrete. You can use pictures, photos, affirmations, and quotes to create a picture of the life you want.

     A vision board can be a poster, a Pinterest board, a whiteboard, or a journal. Make you sure you keep your vision board where you can see it every day and add to it when you need to or when you find a new photo or quote that really speaks to you.

4.      Feed Your Dream

     You can make your visualization even more potent by nourishing it with positivity. Don’t put all the good feelings in the future but feed your dream with happy memories. Think of times when you felt happy, successful, and content with your life.

     These positive images reinforce to your mind that you have already proven you can have a happy, fulfilled life. Keep negativity at bay by reminding yourself that you have done it, you are doing it, you can do it!

     It may take you longer than you originally thought to become the success you are wanting to achieve.  But use these suggestions to help keep your goal visualized in your mind.  Eventually you can achieve the success of your goals.  Just remember, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"True success is the culmination

of many failures."

Being Kind

 

   Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.  While kindness has the connotation of meaning someone is naïve or weak, that is not the case.  Being kind often requires courage and strength.  This is especially true if the person to whom you are trying to extend kindness to is one of a cantankerous nature.  At times patience and fellow-feeling must be maintained in your goal of showing kindness to others.

      It might surprise you to hear that being kind isn’t just good for the other person, it’s good for YOU too!  Skeptical?  There is good scientific evidence to show that living up to the adage found at Matthew 7:12 of doing unto others as you would have them do to you is one of the best things you can do for yourself!  It lowers your blood pressure, improves your mood, and acts as a natural anti-depressant by boosting the serotonin levels in your brain.  There are many wonderful effects for YOU by being truly kind. (https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/the-art-of-kindness#:~:text=Good%20for%20the%20body,be%20healthier%20and%20live%20longer.)

 

     So, what can you do to stay in the right frame of mind to be kind?  After all, being kind isn’t always easy.  Some days you want to grit your teeth and just complain about the world.  And there are some people it’s tough to be kind to (as I mentioned above).  How can you change your approach to life to be as kind as you can?  Here are three truths to remember when you’re tempted to be unkind.

 

Remember what you can control and what you can’t

 

     It’s a fact of life that other people can be rude, thoughtless, irritating, and even mean.  They have opinions you don’t agree with.  You can’t change or control any of that.  But you can control how you react.   Kindness is always the best option for you and the other guy.  Take a deep breath, count to ten, and bite back that retort or putdown.  Practice being kind and soon it will become second nature.  You really CAN change how you respond to the actions of others.   

https://www.freep.com/story/money/business/columnists/josh-linkner/2020/11/14/changing-your-response-others-can-boost-well-being/6285854002/

 

Anger doesn’t  help

 

     Reacting with anger doesn’t do anything to resolve a bad situation.  Anger makes you feel terrible.  It’s likely to escalate things and won’t get you the result you want.  Even worse, anger can lead to all sorts of physical problems, from headaches to high blood pressure, sleep problems, and digestive issues.  A lifetime habit of anger can even lead to a stroke or a heart attack.  Recognize the potential to get angry and take a step back.  Never forget --- YOU are the person who controls your response.  There are ways you can deal with angry people. 

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/dealing-with-angry-people.htm

 

Kindness is always the right option

 

     Whatever the situation, you will never go wrong if you’re kind.  Kindness also makes you an inspiring leader, a role model for others.  Making the choice to be kind in the face of frustration, even provocation, shows that conflict is not inevitable.  Giving in to childish feelings of needing to be right or get what you want all the time is easy.  But it breeds discontent and won’t win you any friends.  At times you may need to remind yourself that kindness is the right thing to do.  “Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.” [Jackie Chan]  You may like to read more quotes.  https://www.ftd.com/blog/celebrate/kindness-quotes

 

     Kindness breeds a more detached attitude to life, it encourages positive emotions and will help to make you and the people around you calmer, happier, and more energized.  Even when  others don’t see things the way you do, or react in the manner you feel they should, being  kind will always help the current situation.  But don’t forget --- we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"The kindness you express today,

comes back to you tomorrow."

Family

      Today what is considered the “family” unit may appear quite different from what we would have considered it several decades ago.

      When I was growing up the family was considered the father, the mother, and the children.  Very often the family was viewed as a unit of four, the parents with two children.  The TV program that comes to my mind in reflecting this view is “Leave It to Beaver”.

 

     In this sitcom, which aired between 1957 and 1963, it told of the antics of an inquisitive and often naïve boy and his adventures at home, school, and around his suburban neighborhood.  The show starred Barbara Billingsley and Hugh Beaumont as his parents, June and Ward Cleaver, with Tony Dow as his brother Wally, and Jerry Mathers as the “Beaver!”  It’s hard to believe that some 60 years later it would still be an icon from the past enjoyed by many.  You might be able to see some of the old episodes at https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0050032/

 

     Although this style of television program had been a slight variation on previous shows depicting family life, it was a great hit, viewing the comical situations from the perspective of the child. 

 

     The prior (and concurrent) show of “Father Knows Best” was viewed from the perspective of how the parents had to deal with the situations that their children would get in to.  In the end, the father (Robert Young) always would come up with the right solution.  The wife, Jane Wyatt, would always be highly supportive of her husband in all of the decisions that were made for their three children played by actors, Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin.  You might be able to view some of these programs at https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046600/

 

     These sitcoms gave us a slightly distorted view of the American family life.  Although there were problems and challenges that had to be dealt with, there was never a situation that couldn’t be handled by the conclusion of the program.

 

     Then television came along with programs that dealt with real-life situations of the family that often didn’t have a pleasant outcome.  Drugs, sex, violence, abortion, death, and other topics, have all been the subject of various programs where television has tried to “keep up with the times.”  Some have dealt very successfully with the topics, while others have missed the mark, so to speak.  One such recent American TV series, Euphoria, follows a group of high school students through their experiences of sex, drugs, friendships, love, identity and trauma.  It premiered in June 2019.  I, personally, have not seen this program, but can only imagine how it might graphically illustrate the subject matter that it deals with.  If you aren’t familiar with this program you can check it out at https://www.hbo.com/euphoria

 

     Today, more than ever before the family unit has changed in many ways.  Once considered to be “a group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit”, the family can now be composed of, initially, total strangers who have come together, uniting themselves for self-protection or other reasons.  They have learned to cooperate together and gain benefit from the unity that they enjoy.

 

      However, the family is under attack!  This was the downfall of the Roman Empire, the divisiveness of the family unit.  And that tactic has not changed over the centuries.  If you can           divide the family, you will successfully destroy the very fabric of human society.  So, the family is being attached from within and from without.  This short blog post is not the place to attempt to elaborate upon the complexity of such a subject, you will have to do more of your own research; however, the fact is the damage is present and it is real!

 

     Often this attack is from our own selfish flesh and desires.  We cause the majority of our own problems.  We are responsible for the break-down of the family unit.  We are most often our own greatest enemy.  However, this fact we must all face and realize: we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"No one can get through things alone,

we need one another."