The word
communication itself is a general word in its meaning. It could take on many roles, depending on the
use and context. It also has many
formats as its delivery mechanism. You
can listen to music or watch videos, or you can read a book. Conversations are forms of communications as
well. And there are times when there are
no verbal exchanges at all, but things are communicated between individuals
just as easily as if there were many words spoken!
Because of the
general aspects of communication, it’s difficult to imagine formulating it into
a skill. But it is possible, and many
colleges offer majors in communication, which elevates the field to a higher
level. It’s not necessarily something that
must be studied at a four-year college to enhance ones skills of communication.
It takes basic knowledge and some
practice. Most often a LOT of
practice!
The biggest skill
you can use to communicate better is to listen. People are not natural listeners as they are
focused on themselves. It’s how we are wired. We will always put ourselves first. Part of that is a survival mechanism. But, because of our self-serving nature,
listening to others is secondary and requires us to put effort into being
better listeners. We are often more
interested in knowing how we are going to respond to someone or what we are
going to use as a “counter-argument” that we are not really listening to their
comments at all.
To increase your
ability to listen to others, the next time you are speaking with someone,
repeat back everything they say. That may be a little unnerving to them, at
first. But, if they look at you with a
bewildered look, explain that you are just making sure you understood what they
said. Once they get past the
awkwardness, they will welcome the exchange.
This may also take YOU some time to master. You don’t want your repeating of their words
to sound as if you are mocking them or in some way belittling their
comments. This will take some practice
on your part to get this technic perfected.
The next step
towards better communication is to use simple language. When you want others to understand your
meaning, you need to make sure everyone will understand the words. People have different levels of education. Therefore, you want to use the lowest common
denominator when speaking to everyone. You
should not view this as a means of looking down at others. Your goal is to make sure you are understood. Speaking and writing in basic language is the
best way to accomplish this. This too
will take some practice on your part.
You will want to make sure that you are talking WITH people and
not AT them!
You must consider
the feelings of the people with whom you're communicating. Even if you are a manager, barking orders at
people is one of the least effective ways. Consider everyone’s opinions and needs. Keep people engaged in the communication
platform. This way they take ownership
in the process. That is a massive
benefit for excellent communication. You
will get more out of people when this happens than merely rattling off commands
as if they are robots. There are some instances, such as the military, where
shouting out orders is necessary or expected. But these are the exception, not the rule.
From the beginning
of human history mankind has been making various efforts to communicate with
others. To have their expressions and
feelings understood by others. We often
do not do a very good job at this task because in the final consideration of
all that we want to get accomplished with our attempts at communicating, we’re
only human!
QUOTE TO CONSIDER
"The more I want to tell you
gets confused by the words
I use to say them."
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