Being More Focused

 

     I can remember my mother working away in the kitchen every Sunday morning so that we would have a big Sunday lunch for the entire family to join in eating and visiting together.  My sisters and their husbands would come to visit and everyone would enjoy the fruits of all her labors.  Now when my wife tells me it’s going to take 30-minutes to have our meal ready, it’s like having to wait an eternity!    

     In today’s world where instant gratification is treasured and you rarely have to watch more than a few moments of a sound bite, it can be hard to stay focused and productive.  But keeping yourself focused is necessary to be productive regardless of whatever task you are doing.  If you’re struggling with this concept of focus, here are a few tips to help you stay free from distractions and get more accomplished.

     Set Up A Physical Boundary.  No matter what environment you work in, setting a physical boundary can help minimize distractions.  If you have an office with a door, shut it when you need to focus.  If you’re in a cubicle, post a polite sign asking not to be disturbed.  Tactfully let your workmates know that you are serious about your sign and are trying to avoid unnecessary distractions.

     If you have a home office, make sure that your family and friends are aware that when you’re working, they need to respect that space.  It helps if you can set up your office in a room that isn’t used for other things.  But the point is, make yourself some physical boundary to cut back on the distractions so you can get things accomplished.

     Make a Daily Task List.  It helps to get more done throughout the day if you keep a list of what needs to be done where you can see it.  This can be posted on your computer desktop, on a dry erase board, or kept on a notepad by your desk.  Whatever you find will work best for you and your circumstances.

     Try to have a list with no more than 12 things on it for each day.  If you have larger tasks, keep the list shorter.  You don’t want to become overwhelmed with what you need to do, but you do want a visual reminder of what needs to be done each day.  As you get the “to-do” list items accomplished, mark them off your list.

     Make the Most of Time Management Apps.  If you find yourself easily distracted by email, social media, and other sites that are time wasters you may want to take advantage of computer apps that lock those down.  Examples include “SelfControl” (https://selfcontrolapp.com/ ) [a free MAC app] and “Cold Turkey” (https://getcoldturkey.com/ ) [Priced at $39.00 at the time of this writing.].  These programs will automatically block YOU from specific sites so that you can’t be distracted by them.  You can set a time limit and you can decide which ones to block or keep free.  They could be just the thing you need if you don’t have enough self-control over yourself to avoid these types of distractions.

     Use a Timer.  It’s impossible to be completely focused on a task for hours at a time.  You may find it helpful to set a timer for 25 minutes that will allow you to stay focused for that time.  Then give yourself a five-minute break to get a drink of water, walk around a bit, or just take your mind off of work so that you can feel refreshed.

    Dividing work into smaller chunks can keep it from feeling overwhelming and boring.  It can also keep you from feeling like procrastinating on a big project that will be time consuming.  This can be especially helpful if you are working on a larger project and have hit a “snag” in your process and just cannot see your mistake which is right in front of your face.  At times, walking away for a few moments will give your eyes and mind a better perspective when you return to the project.

     Do the Worst Tasks First?  For some people it’s helpful to just get the worst tasks over with before getting on with the rest of the day.  This is a good solution for procrastination and leaves the rest of the day free for the tasks you enjoy.  You will generally find one of two things to be true (or perhaps both): (1) The task was not as “worse” as you thought it to be, and (2) The task doesn’t take you as long to accomplish as you thought it would.  You might come to find out that, in time, you’ll come to actually enjoy some of those tasks that you, at first, thought you would hate!  Just remember, there will still be those tasks that you HATE, but are necessary to do!

     You will also find out that, as with most things in life, YOU will be your greatest roadblock.  You may at times find that YOU are actually putting things in the way of your being successful in getting your tasks done.  There’s that one simple reason for this that we inevitably tend to overlook: we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Sometimes you can be so focused on the thorn

that you can't enjoy the rose!"

Shift Your Mindset

 

    It happens to all of us at some point in our lives (maybe at several points in our lives).  We begin to look at ourselves in a very negative light and start thinking that we can’t do anything right.  Everything in our life has been a total disaster and we are not going to be able to ever make things right.  We have these moments, hopeful not very often, but we do have them and we must find a way to lift ourselves out of this hole of despair and once again face the challenges of our everyday lives!

     If you are experiencing low energy, or are not in good spirits, you may want to consider altering your mindset. When you are down, it can be due to negative thoughts. You start to dwell on everything that is going wrong. You reflect that you aren’t where you thought you would be and it gives you a sinking feeling.  You can really begin to make yourself and those around you miserable! 

     When you start to have negative thoughts, you are setting the stage to beat yourself down. What’s worse is this situation continues to grow. Negativity feeds on itself. When you put yourself down, you will eventually put others down. You will look for others who share your negativity because misery loves company. As the negative energy thrives, you fall deeper into the mental abyss.  You will continue to dig this hole so deep that great efforts will be required to get yourself out of it.  But it can be done!

     To turn this around, you first have to realize that it’s happening. No one likes to admit to doing something wrong, but negative thinking is wrong if you are engaging in it. You have to try and reflect on your life. Think back to when you were happy. Was it a couple of months ago or a couple of years? That will give you a good indication of when you started with the negative thinking. When you were happy, it’s unlikely you were thinking negatively.  This little mental exercise may not be easy to do at first.  You might find that you have been “thinking” yourself into despair for a much longer time than you realized.  But this exercise will be very beneficial to you as you remind yourself you were not always feeling the way you are now.  There was a time when your life had meaning and purpose for you and you want to get back to that point again.

     However, if you don’t believe you are negative but you feel down about your current situation, consider asking friends and family how you have been behaving recently. Tell them you want an honest assessment. Unfortunately, because you are in a negative mindset, you may lash out at their answers. That will make them upset with you since you told them you want an honest assessment. However, if it helps you to see what you are doing, eventually they will forgive you when you turn the situation around.  Always remember that it takes a GOOD friend to be honest with you and only want the best for you in your life.  These GOOD friends will help you get back on the right course.

     Once you have identified that you have a negative mindset, work hard to introduce positivity into your life. Set up a bad thoughts money jar and whenever you say something negative, put money into the jar. You can do this at work, at home, or both. When you see the jar filling up, you know you have more work to do. When you reach a point where you notice that every day you are putting less and less money in your jar you will know that you have been making the necessary changes in your life to be more positive.  Of course, this doesn’t mean that you have WON the fight against your negativity, but only that you have begun to keep it under control!  You might be surprised at how much money your have been able to save during this experience.

     Avoid other negative people as much as possible. They will try to bring you back down, and you may even let them do it. Limiting your exposure to these people is a great step to take on your journey towards positivity.  It will be a long and arduous road but you can make the journey successfully.  Never forget; however, that YOU will be your greatest enemy during this journey because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Sometimes you have to listen to yourself,

other times you should not listen to yourself.

Wisdom is knowing what time it is NOW!"

Perks of Breaking Rules

 

     I think I might perhaps have to put a “disclaimer” with this blog post.  “I am not suggesting or implying by direct or indirect mention of breaking rules within this post that I am directing individuals to no longer be law-abiding citizens.”  There, I said it!  Most of you readers would understand that a measure of rules are necessary to have and maintain an orderly society.  That being said, however, breaking certain rules can cause the skies to open and rain down benefits – but, we should not forget, that it can also cause your worst nightmares.  Author, Lewis Upton, once said, “I’m a free soul, not a soul who will be contained by rules that were made by people who want to control others.”

     This is one reason it becomes necessary to hear the ENTIRE story and consider all the circumstances, particularly when it comes to certain family rules.  I’m certain, as most parents have done, you have told your young children “Don’t go in the street!”  And there are certainly great benefits from obeying this rule.  However, as your children get older, they begin to understand when it is proper and when it is not proper to be in the street.  Or there may be the occasion when your children will dash into the street to save his/her baby sister, who has wandered off and gotten in the street.  Some rules are made to have flexibility

     However, there are some rules and there comes a time when it becomes necessary to break some rules, simply to break the control of others or of a situation and to set yourself free to make your own rules. Here are some perks of breaking certain rules that society has indiscriminately placed upon us:

1.     The “Work from 9 to 5” Rule. When you break this rule, you can get ahead quickly by garnering more time for yourself and working more efficiently. Many people today are realizing the perks that technology now affords by setting their own hours and taking time for themselves.

2.     Always Meet Your Goals and Expectations. You may change your mind along the way – it’s as simple as that. You can become newly enthused about a project or goal if you let the old ones go.

3.     What Other People Think is Important. Letting go of the fear of people judging you can be very freeing. What kept you down and from reaching new heights in your life plan is replaced with a new zest for life and enthusiasm to take advantage of every opportunity.  You don’t have to “keep up with the Joneses.”

4.     Mistakes Are a Bad Thing. You can get tons of benefits from making mistakes. It’s never fun to admit you’re wrong, but when you learn lessons from those mistakes, the benefits are many and you’ll likely never make that mistake again.  It is truly the ignorant man (or woman) who never admits a mistake!

5.     Your Parents Are Always Right. When you realize that your parents lived in another day and time when rules meant something different than they do today, you can justify breaking the “parents are always right rule.” The major perk you can get from breaking this rule is to free yourself to make your own decisions and plot your own life-path.  However, DON’T become rebellious.  There are still many rules made by parents that are for your protection and should always be followed, even if you don’t know the complete reason for the rule.  It wasn’t until I got older that I realized how smart my parents were.  And by the time I had a family of my own, my parents appeared in my mind as geniuses!!!!

     Although there are perks from breaking many of society’s antiquated rules, beware of breaking rules that were set in place to help us in life. Not working 9 until 5 every day doesn’t mean you don’t have to work hard to realize your goals and dreams.

     In fact, to become the truly successful person you desire to be, you may work harder – spending long days and nights – in reaching the goals and dreams you have for yourself. But, setting your own hours can help you work on your own terms and not those set by others. You’ll do a much better job and finish projects much more efficiently.

     The main rule you never want to forget is that YOU will be the greatest obstacle you will have to overcome in your life.  You will not only be the driving force behind your successes, but you will the roadblock which will prevent you from achieving many things in your life.  There’s no other way to put it, except: we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Know when to venture

outside the lines."

Self-Care

 

     “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times…”  So opens the novel “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens.  In a similar way that could be said for many people around the world during the year 2020.  Many people witnessed the great compassion of humankind and yet at the same time saw first-hand the ravages of the COVID-19 pandemic.  This past year has been a hectic year for many all over the world. People have been coping with all that life brings in many ways. One way that some have been trying to cope is by working on self-care practices. There are many reasons why introducing practices of self-care into your life can make a pivotal difference in your life. For many, these practices and habits get overlooked in the chaos of everyday events. 

What Is Self-Care

     “Let’s clear up one common misconception from the get-go: Self-care is not synonymous with self-indulgence or being selfish. Self-care means taking care of yourself so that you can be healthy, you can be well, you can do your job, you can help and care for others, and you can do all the things you need to and want to accomplish in a day.” So states an article at Everyday Health (https://www.everydayhealth.com/self-care/ )  Certain activities are common self-care practices. This means taking care of yourself so that you are healthy physically, and mentally.

     You are at your best so that you can work, interact with friends and family, and you can do all the things you need to and want to in a day. This can look very different for each individual but some common self-care activities are listed below.

Self-Care Practices:

•   Yoga

•   Taking a hot bath to relax

•   Enjoying a cup of tea

•   Journaling

•   Meditation

•   Spirituality Practices

•   Getting a massage.

•   Listening to calming music

•   Cutting down on screen time.

And many more.

Why Is Self-Care Important

     Adding self-care practices to your life has many benefits. Self-care is shown to reduce stress. In addition, many people feel that making time in their lives for self-care practices improves their own mental health greatly. Many people also report greater levels of happiness in their daily lives when incorporating self-care practices.

     Taking care of yourself can also improve physical health. In addition to self-care on a personal level, self-care is a factor when facing illness, disease, or disability. Many health care professionals are adopting an integrative health care style approach that includes checking in with patients to help them seek balance in all aspects of life. This helps people facing illness or disease recover faster, better, and more successfully overall.

Tips To Practice Self Care In Your Life 

•   Get enough sleep

•   Balance your commitments and priorities

•   Make a weekly schedule

•   Say no to optional tasks or events you don’t want to take on.

•   Stay on top of physical and mental health

•   Exercise

•   Allow quality time for friends and family.

     Making space for self-care in your life provides great benefits to physical and mental health. Some aspects of self-care are personally enriching and fun.  You might find yourself enjoying such activities and learning that they actually make you more productive in your daily activities.

     As I commented in the opening statements: Self-care is not selfish; it is vital to being a well healthy and balanced person. This lets you face whatever life throws at you without breaking your stride.  However, there is a caution that comes with self-care:  Make sure you don’t make your activities selfish ones and become unbalanced.  That is the tendency we lean toward because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"To better be of help to others,

you must first be able to help yourself."

Are You Productive -- Or Just Busy?

 

    He’s here, he’s there.  He’s everywhere!  It seems like there are those people that seem to be on the go constantly.  Their up early, their day is filled with all sorts of activities, and they are up until late hours to make sure all has been accomplished.  It might seem at times that they are “burning the candle at both ends!” 

     You’ve seen them.  Perhaps you are one of them?  You have observed those types who seem to be busy all the time, but are they really getting anything done or are they simply going through the motions of being busy?  Do you feel that sometimes you find yourself in the same boat?  I guess the really important question then is: How do you know if you’re productive, actually getting things done or simply just busy?  I’ve prepared a small, simple list of questions that you need to ask yourself and YOU be the judge!

     Do you have goals?  People who are productive generally have goals and focus all of their work on achieving those goals.  Remember that a goal is a solid fixed objective to your actions.  It’s not “I’d like to do…” thinking.  You can clearly visualize within your minds’ eye the target you are attempting to reach.  The problem with many people is that they don’t know how to set achievable goals within their lives.  If you are such a person you might find https://www.mindtools.com/page6.html interesting.  Of course there are always going to be distractions, but those distractions don’t take priority over the big picture.

     Do you focus or multitask?  People who multitask often seem very busy.  They’re always doing something, but they’re rarely doing any one thing very well.  You’ll be more productive if you focus on doing one thing at a time.  The truth is that you can’t really multitask and give the proper attention to any of the tasks that you are preforming.  If you want to understand better why multitasking doesn’t work, visit https://health.clevelandclinic.org/science-clear-multitasking-doesnt-work/

     Do you delegate?  Sometimes you may take on tasks that would really be better to delegate to someone else.  If you work alone at your own business, this may be more difficult.  But you might be able to delegate personal tasks while keeping the focus on your business tasks.  Understanding how to delegate would be the beginning of an unknown process to many people.  Many people feel that if they don’t “do it themselves” it will never get done, or at the least, it will never be done right.  Learning to delegate can be a very humbling experience for some.  You might want to investigate this at https://www.indeed.com/hire/c/info/delegating-task?gclid=CjwKCAjw3MSHBhB3EiwAxcaEu_ruOSoydx_YQcQHfeSpcbea0FnOTAK0g1xEVRMCqteo6QFtK8pzHhoCHCsQAvD_BwE&aceid=

     Do you say “no”?  People who are productive know how to say “no” to something that is going to take them away from their own important work.  It’s okay to say “no” when you really don’t have time to fit in one more thing.  That is the major concern for many.  They don’t know WHEN it is the appropriate time to say “no” to someone or something.  You have to modestly consider your own personal limitations and be honest with yourself.  Saying “no” is not always an easy thing to do, but you’ll find it very helpful once you have learned to do it when required.  PsychCentral posted an interesting article on this at https://psychcentral.com/lib/learning-to-say-no

     Do you let some things go?  It may sound counterproductive to erase some tasks from your to-do list.  But you may find that you have given yourself tasks that really won’t move your vision forward and will take up extra time.  It’s okay to scratch something off the list and go a different way.  While you’re in the process of listing your goals you may find out later that you have included things on your list to accomplish that, although “nice” to do, are really not necessary for you to get done in order to complete your task.  At times we have the tendency to “overload” our to-do list with things that should not be done, at least not at the time we had originally scheduled them to be done.

     Do you have a schedule?  People who are productive tend to have a schedule for each day of what needs to be done and when.  This too, requires that we carefully analyze WHAT needs to be done and make sure that we have not “padded” our schedule with unnecessary things.  Your schedule does not have to be a major production, but can be something very simple.  The point is that once you form the habit of having your life scheduled you will find that you are getting more accomplished and you are doing it more efficiently.  The problem that many have is that they don’t really know HOW to prepare a schedule.  You may like to start at https://www.projectsmart.co.uk/6-steps-to-successful-schedules.php to get yourself motivated to begin scheduling.  Remember, if you’re not planning ahead, chances are you’re staying busy but not productive.

     Do you complete projects?  You can be busy doing something all day long, every day and never get a project completed.  If you find you’re starting a lot of things without finishing them, it’s time to look at your priorities and become more productive.  The problem for some is that they are easily distracted from their current task by something else that they think is more appealing and perhaps may be more fun to do.  However, this attitude will prevent you from getting your task completed and it will only contribute to your “to-do” list of uncompleted tasks growing even larger.  Lifehack has a very interesting article: “10 Essential Tips to Finish What You Start.”  This would be very good reading for you if this is your problem! Visit https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/10-essential-tips-to-finish-what-you-start.html

     Do you feel peace?  When you spend your time very busy but not accomplishing much you might feel a sense of anxiety.  You may worry about all the things you need to do that aren’t getting done.  But when you’re productive, you can actually feel peace when it comes to your work and the tasks you are accomplishing.  You know what’s important and you have a plan to get it done --- and to get it done on time!  Having this peace of mind due to your accomplishments is one of the greatest joys you can have.  Read more about this at https://everydaypower.com/peace-of-mind-real-measure-success/

     I’ve given you some things here to consider if you are getting thing accomplished or simply “going through the motions” to be busy.  You will have to determine which situation you are in.  This may vary from day to day, so continue to examine yourself and your activities because you will always be standing in your own way of success.  You will be your worst enemy because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"The important thing is not how much you're doing,

it's how much you're getting done!"

Breaking and Building Habits

      It is almost a universal conclusion that when a person brings up the topic of habits, the first thing the mind thinks of is BAD habits!  And that is usually exactly what is being talked about.  However, we have to remember that there are also GOOD habits that we all do within our lives.  We need to remember that a habit is “a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.”  So that “tendency or practice” can be either GOOD or BAD! 

     What we’d like to do within our lives is work hard to form the GOOD habits and work even harder to remove our BAD habits!  When there is ANY way, we can help ourselves in doing this, we are usually eager to make it work to our advantage. So in today’s electronic society what is the first thing that comes to our minds?  There’s an app for that. It’s become a running joke; however, there’s an app for everything today.  Well, there usually is!  So, is there an app for habits?  No!  There are a lot of apps for habits.

    I’m going to give you a few of them to consider, but the truth be told you may be able to find many others that better suit your particular circumstances, so don’t hesitate to do a GOOGLE search for “habit apps” and see what you are able to locate.  I’d also like to mention that I AM NOT recommending a specific app for your use, merely providing some information for you to consider.  Also, if any of the apps have fees or charges for their use, I DO NOT receive any type of compensation for recommending their use.  So, let’s get into my listing:

     HabitBull (http://www.habitbull.com/ ) is a free flexible reminder program that lets you develop good habits.  (There is a Premium in-app purchase available according to some of their comments in their FAQ section, but I couldn’t find pricing.)  Habits require repetition and HabitBull provides the reminder to keep you on the track to develop the habit of your choice.

     If you want to walk for three days in the week, HabitBull lets you set reminders on selected days. If you want to read a certain number of pages from a publication or book for half an hour each day, you can record your accomplishments in minutes rather than Yes/No answers. The app creates trends, graphs and tracks your process to create that habit.  HabitBull reminds you that it takes 66 days to create a habit and gives you a progress bar.

     Productive (https://productiveapp.io/ ) Productive separates the new habit creation into three categories, morning and evening and whenever.  It’s selective as to which it shows when, meaning that it shows the AM reminders before noon only and the PM reminders afternoon, also exclusively. This app is designed to force the user into incorporating the habit into their daily schedule as opposed to saving up or getting it over with early.  Their information states it is “free and easy to use,” then further down their home page is a button that says “Try free for 7 days” so it looks like it might be a subscription offer.

     Strides (https://www.stridesapp.com/ ) If you’re after a significant goal like losing weight, saving money reading a large number of books, then you should look at Strides. This app looks at the total time to complete any task and breaks it down into milestones that are measurable, trackable. It creates weekly and monthly goals to keep you on track.  You can build the perfect daily routine.  The app is free, but they do accept donations if you’d like to provide support.

     Streaks (https://streaksapp.com/ ) (currently Android-only). Streaks is an app to help you develop fitness goals. The plus of this app is that it hooks in nicely with Apple’s Health app. It tracks steps, measures heart rate, distance and more. It’s simple, handling only six habits at a time, and has a very easy-to-understand graphics display.  There is a small fee for this app.  At the time of my writing it was $4.99.

     Habitica  (https://habitica.com/static/home ) This app is free and for the iPhone, Android, or web. Habitica takes good habits and converts them into something fun. It converts them into a video game you can play with friends. You can earn badges and battle monsters and hold each other accountable. If either of you fails to complete the reminder, you’re both penalized.  You can use advanced aspects of the “game” and join group plans with monthly subscriptions.

     Coach.me. (https://www.coach.me/ ) This app has plans to coach you through the process of forming athletic habits and training. You can see videos and even contact live coaches for hire.  The core aspect of this app is a capable habit tracker that lets you check off your habits as you do them.  The real value, however, lies in the community and coaching aspects of the app even though you may pay from $25 per week and up for live coaches.

     Beeminder (https://www.beeminder.com/ )  If you really want to “put your money where your mouth is” you might want to check-out beeminder.  If you fail to do a habit, the app will charge your credit card (and the amount they charge will increase each time you fail).  This won’t be motivating for everyone. But if you’re the sort of person who performs best when the stakes are high, you’ll love Beeminder. And in addition to the financial incentives, Beeminder will also show you a huge amount of data about your habits.

     These are only a few of the ways that you may be able to use the present technology to your advantage when trying to eliminate BAD habits and create a new pattern of forming GOOD habits.  However, whatever the method you choose in your quest to improve your personal lifestyle and become the better person you know you can be, never forget that you have an inherent enemy who is always trying to make you fail in your efforts.  This enemy is YOU, because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Your habits define who you are."

Pressing Your Own Buttons

      It’s happened to you or perhaps you’re the one that made it happen to someone else!  In a situation at home, at work, or at school, someone has pressed your button and you, like everyone else become irritated!  However, sometimes that “button pushing” has been to get you motivated enough (or irritated enough) so that you take action an get things done!  

      Now you well realize that in most situations the things people have “tricked” you into doing by pressing your buttons are in reality things that you should have done (or should be doing) anyway.  Wouldn’t it be better for you to learn how to “press your own buttons” so you become self-motivated to, not only get things done, but also enjoy doing many new things that you are not doing now?  Pressing your own buttons can seem like a massive undertaking. One that there are a million different ways to achieve if all the articles on the internet have anything to say about it. However, pressing your own buttons is a personal undertaking, one that may have similar milestones for everyone, but really can and should be molded or formed to a person’s own personal needs in order to be the most successful. I’d like to share with you 6 steps you need to personalize your situation to be able to press your own buttons.

1.    Find an Activity that Challenges You

This is truly a personal choice that will have to be made by you and no one else.  The activity that will most help you press your own buttons is the one that challenges you. Not your neighbor or your sibling, or your workmates, or schoolmates. But you! This could be something as simple as folding an entire basket of laundry in one sitting or the completing of the Sunday morning newspaper crossword in INK!  If you’re more adventurous you may consider some other activity that involves a challenge to learn new skills, such as deep-sea fishing, skydiving, or some other sport. Just remember, the activity has to be something that personally challenges YOU!  If you would like to have some suggestions on how this might be done visit https://embracingsimpleblog.com/fifteen-30-day-challenge-ideas-will-change-life/

2.    Commit to yourself

Whatever challenge you decide to undertake, don’t forget, you’re doing it for you. This activity is not to impress someone else, although that may be a by-product of your involvement in the activity.  Make a promise to yourself that you will try your hardest and not give up when the going gets tough.  Without this personal commitment you will, in time, loose interest in the activity and it will fade from your mind as something that is no longer important to you.  The idea is the same as those many New Year’s resolutions that are forgotten by March or April so people are always “renewing” their resolve at the beginning of the next year. To help you in understanding and implementing self-commitment check out this post https://www.lovequestcoaching.com/blog/2019/1/29/how-committed-are-you-to-yourself-5-ways-to-increase-personal-commitment-in-life 

3.    Set Realistic Goals

This is another area where most people fail themselves by having such high achievements in their minds that NO ONE would be able to attain them.  Instead, make sure your goals are realistic and attainable. You aren’t going to fold all the laundry that you do on Sunday by the end of Sunday. But maybe you could at least hang up the stuff that will wrinkle. Or perhaps you will only use a pen on the crossword answers you feel 100% certain about, pencil on the rest.  Maybe on some other activities you should really be in the beginners class and not the advanced.  Be honest with yourself and as you set these goals always remember that once a goal is reached (that is ANY goal), you can always then re-establish the marker for the next realistic and attainable goal.  Resetting the goal to a higher level on each successful advancement is being realistic, rather than setting the “goal to the moon” in the first place and quitting when you are unable to reach it!  Visit https://memory.ai/timely-blog/how-to-set-realistic-goals to help yourself understand how to set realistic and attainable goals.

4.    Turn off the T.V. (or the Internet) In General

Get rid of any useless distractions. That show you’re watching while lounging on the sofa is not going to help you concentrate or make time go faster, so just don’t go there. You can’t push your button on one activity if your brain is partially paying attention to another.  Many people think they can multi-task, but the truth is that in order to give one activity your best efforts you must give it your full concentration.  When I was growing up, I recall an older gentleman who worked for my father at the gas station saying to me when I had gotten my driver’s license: “Don’t ever forget.  If you have one hand on the steering wheel and one hand on your girlfriend, you have one hand too few to really accomplish either task properly!”  It took me awhile to completely understand what he was telling me, but I learned in time.  And so should you if you are wanting to get things accomplished by pushing your own buttons.  So, kids, phones, whatever the interruption might be, do your best to remove them before they become a distraction to you. Think you might need some help in this area?  Here it is: https://www.americanexpress.com/en-us/business/trends-and-insights/articles/increase-your-focus-reduce-distractions-tips/

5.    Track Your Progress

Find an easy way (understand this as, not time-consuming, expensive, or labor-intensive) to track your progress. Sometimes this is a calendar to check off days. For others, maybe you need to keep a journal about your feelings, how it went, or your next goal to achieve.  Whatever the case may be for you, follow your progress and you will see that as time passes you are continuing to advance toward your goal.  So days it may only be “baby steps” but the point is you will be able to note the progress being made.  This will motivate you to continue moving forward until your goal is reached.  Here is an article with suggestions: https://www.twentyfree.co/track-progress-towards-goals/

6.    Enjoy Your Experiences

This is another area where many people fail in motivating themselves (or pressing their own buttons).  They view the activity that they have involved themselves in as a necessity or choir!  They are unable to “see the forest for the trees,” that is, they can’t get past the day-to-day events necessary for them to see the results when they ultimately reach their goal.  Instead, train yourself to enjoy what you’re doing and the experiences you are having while doing it. Look past the moment so you can visualize the results at the end.  However, it’s not totally about the results at the end of your process.  No, it’s not completely about the destination, it’s also about the journey.  So enjoy the journey you are taking to reach the goals you have set at the end.  One thing that will help you is to enjoy your everyday life as it is now.  You can learn how to do that: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/25-simple-ways-enjoy-your-life.html

     Learning to press your own buttons is a process, not a one-day training online event. It will take time and it will take practice to find out exactly what it takes for you to be in the zone to ultimately press your own buttons to achieve all the goals that you have set for yourself.  Just never forget that YOU will also be the decisive stumbling block of reaching those goals.  You will be your own worst enemy because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Just because it hasn't been done

doesn't mean it can't be done!"

Trying New Things

     It’s only natural to want to keep things the way they are in our lives.  We are comfortable with the routine we have established.  The things we do are the way we expect things to be.  There is no need for change, especially if that change involves “new” things that perhaps will make us a bit uncomfortable in our current situations.  Especially for men, making changes can be a difficult thing for us to accomplish.  It’s like that old shirt or pair of pants we have had hanging in the closet for y-e-a-r-s and should have thrown away a long time ago --- but they feel so-o-o comfortable and reassuring to us!  Changes in our lifestyle can be one of the most difficult things for us to do!

     When you make it a goal to try something new, you may not realize why you’re setting out to do something new in the first place. There is a slew of benefits that come along from incorporating “new” into your life periodically; here I would like to consider just a few; however, if you’d like to fully understand the idea of trying new things in your life, visit https://wanderlust.com/journal/why-you-should-try-new-things/  

1.    Learn New Things

     How will you learn new things if you never try new things? Think about an activity you’ve never tried before. You probably don’t know much about it, right? As soon as you put yourself out there and try it out, though, you’ll probably learn a lot more about it. As you venture through this personal learning experience, you’ll find the less mysterious the event becomes that you are considering.  I have known individuals even in their later years becoming involved in ventures, projects, or activities that they may never had considered as a younger person.  Look at this very interesting list https://www.businessinsider.com/100-amazing-accomplishments-achieved-at-every-age-2014-3 particularly at those having new experiences within their lives in later years.

2.    Get Rid of Boredom

     Boredom is the worst – we all can attest to that. When you’re trying out new projects, new places, new people, etc., that boredom slips by the wayside. Keep your brain engaged, and you won’t have to deal with monotony creeping in. Many times a new event or occasion in our lives is only boring because we have not done what is suggested in step 1 and spent some time investigating the event.  When my wife first suggested to me that I take her to the theater to see a musical play, I was a bit set-back.  A musical play?  That would not be of any interest to me!  Then she explained that the musical was The Phantom of the Opera.  I had seen the 1943 film production starring Claude Rains as the Phantom a number of years earlier when I was a youth (NOT in 1943 by the way).  That horror film had brought chills down my spine!  I began to wonder how they would produce this classic on stage as a musical.  I did a bit of research and began to listen to some of the tunes that were produced by composer Andrew Lloyd Webber for the Broadway production.  They were fantastic!  I thought I HAVE to see this stag presentation.  After the event, I was simply amazed at what had been done on that stage.  The years that have followed have seen us attending many other theatric productions and I have enjoyed them immensely.  

3.    More Stories to Tell

     As you try new things and meet new people, you accumulate more stories about your adventures. Whether it’s a funny story or a scary story, your stories become part of who you are. What a great perk!  You’d be amazed at how many times you will be able to share those stories with others.  By relating your stories of adventure you’ll also be able to relive your adventures over and over in your mind.  This will continue to bring you enjoyment for many years.  And regardless of how many others may go to the same places you had visited or meet the same people that you did, their stories will never be the same as YOUR stories and the adventures YOU had!

4.    Get a New Perspective

     Sometimes, you need to sit in another area of the room to change your perspective – similarly, you need to try new things to change your perspective on life. What is amazing is that even making visits to the same place or seeing the same people, when done at different times of your life, you will gain a new and different experience each time!  By gaining this new perspective you will benefit probably more than you can actually imagine.  With a new perspective you see things differently.  This concept of perspective is well illustrated by the artist Sergi Cadenas as shown at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8dM2B_lPxA

5.    Self-Discovery

     Let’s face it – we spend a lot of time with ourselves. A whole entire lifetime, in fact. So if you do the same thing day in and day out, you probably won’t see many different sides to yourself. Self-discovery leads to many great attributes – confidence, self-awareness, perceptiveness, to name a few.  You may never know what you may be capable of if you never put yourself into situations that require you to have new and different responses from those that you display every day.  You may show yourself capable of extraordinary things, but only if you are willing to put yourself in different environments and situations.

6.    Gain Confidence

     By making these changes and adjustments within your life you may realize new heights that you have never dreamed possible!  Why fly when you can soar? You can amount to great things by simply expanding your horizons and trying new things. Time after time, you’ll begin to gain a new sense of confidence in yourself and your capabilities.  You’ll see the development of the desire to take yourself further with each new adventure.

7.    Experience Life to the Fullest

     There’s a reason why people say you only have one life to live. If you take this sentiment to heart, you’ll want to get as many experiences out of life as you possibly can. That begins with your habits – your day-to-day life. When you push yourself out of your comfort zone, you’ll gain more of these experiences. Who knows what you could learn about yourself or your life? You’ll have to try to find out!

    I’ve not been implying from the above comments that you should live a “free-for-all” life and not consider the “here and now” of things that happen in your life.  I’ve not been saying that you should forsake a measure of normalcy within your life.  Nor have I been saying that you should “throw your hands up” and let things fall where they may in your life as you just live for the moment of adventure!  I’m only wanting you to consider that you may be missing out on some wonderful opportunities by not removing yourself from your comfort zone on occasions to experience new things in your life.

    Even by considering these things you will find that things do not always work out the way you expect or perhaps even planned them to do.  Within all situations of our lives we will continue to be our own worst enemies --- we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Take a chance ---

find out who you really are!"