Communications

 

     “What we have here is failure to communicate.”  As was stated by the prison Captain (played very effectively by actor Strother Martin) to Luke (played by Paul Newman) in the 1967 American prison drama movie “Cool Hand Luke.”  This simple, but bold statement played to various scenarios throughout the movie.  It highlights a certain aspect of the problems we can have with communications within our everyday lives.

     The word communication itself is a general word in its meaning.  It could take on many roles, depending on the use and context.  It also has many formats as its delivery mechanism.  You can listen to music or watch videos, or you can read a book.  Conversations are forms of communications as well.  And there are times when there are no verbal exchanges at all, but things are communicated between individuals just as easily as if there were many words spoken!

     Because of the general aspects of communication, it’s difficult to imagine formulating it into a skill.  But it is possible, and many colleges offer majors in communication, which elevates the field to a higher level.  It’s not necessarily something that must be studied at a four-year college to enhance ones skills of communication.  It takes basic knowledge and some practice.  Most often a LOT of practice!

     The biggest skill you can use to communicate better is to listen.  People are not natural listeners as they are focused on themselves.  It’s how we are wired.  We will always put ourselves first.  Part of that is a survival mechanism.  But, because of our self-serving nature, listening to others is secondary and requires us to put effort into being better listeners.  We are often more interested in knowing how we are going to respond to someone or what we are going to use as a “counter-argument” that we are not really listening to their comments at all.

     To increase your ability to listen to others, the next time you are speaking with someone, repeat back everything they say.  That may be a little unnerving to them, at first.  But, if they look at you with a bewildered look, explain that you are just making sure you understood what they said.  Once they get past the awkwardness, they will welcome the exchange.  This may also take YOU some time to master.  You don’t want your repeating of their words to sound as if you are mocking them or in some way belittling their comments.  This will take some practice on your part to get this technic perfected.

     The next step towards better communication is to use simple language.  When you want others to understand your meaning, you need to make sure everyone will understand the words.  People have different levels of education.  Therefore, you want to use the lowest common denominator when speaking to everyone.  You should not view this as a means of looking down at others.  Your goal is to make sure you are understood.  Speaking and writing in basic language is the best way to accomplish this.  This too will take some practice on your part.  You will want to make sure that you are talking WITH people and not AT them!

     You must consider the feelings of the people with whom you're communicating.  Even if you are a manager, barking orders at people is one of the least effective ways.  Consider everyone’s opinions and needs.  Keep people engaged in the communication platform.  This way they take ownership in the process.  That is a massive benefit for excellent communication.  You will get more out of people when this happens than merely rattling off commands as if they are robots. There are some instances, such as the military, where shouting out orders is necessary or expected.  But these are the exception, not the rule.

     From the beginning of human history mankind has been making various efforts to communicate with others.  To have their expressions and feelings understood by others.  We often do not do a very good job at this task because in the final consideration of all that we want to get accomplished with our attempts at communicating, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"The more I want to tell you

gets confused by the words 

I use to say them."

Resolving Conflicts

 

     Its’ hard, no it’s difficult, NO, it’s impossible to find a perfect relationship anywhere on this planet because there are no perfect people on this planet.  And when you get two or more people together for any reason, you’re going to find out that they are different in so many ways.  It’s true, no matter how much you like the other person, at some point, conflict is likely to happen. While most conflicts are fairly small (like trying to decide where to go out for dinner), left untended a conflict can fester and grow. That’s why it’s so important to resolve conflicts in your relationships before they have a chance to take on a life of their own.

     The reasons for conflicts (or difficulties) in relationships are as varied as there are the number of people that are in the specific relationship arrange you might be discussing.  In personal relationships where there are only two people to consider problems can develop very easily by hurt feelings or misunderstood intentions.  Basically the same is true if you are considering a family relationship or a relationship at work.  The problem becomes escalated because the more people you have involved in the specific relationship circle, the more complicated matters can become and the easier it is for the relationship to become strained or even broken!

     Is there anything that can be done in these situations that will help the matter?  Let’s consider a few possibilities.

1. Start by listening.  The failure to listen can be one of, if not the most important, reasons for strife and contentions to develop within a relationship.  However, don’t just listen to the spoken words, but listen to the feelings behind them.  It’s the emotions that drive the conversation after all!  By listening attentively, interjecting meaningful pausing to ask questions, seek clarity, and to reiterate what you think the other person is saying, you tell the other person that what they have to say matters to you.  But more importantly, you’re letting them know that they’re being heard and you truly want to understand their feelings on the subject being discussed.

2. Look for the resolution over being right.  Giving up the notion that you have to ‘win’ is where you start seeing the solutions. Conflict is not a competition.  It is merely a difference of opinions and no ONE opinion may be the only solution to a given problem.  Let others in the relationship know that you are not trying to prove yourself right and them wrong, but you are wanting everyone to reach a peaceable, workable, and equitable solution that all can live with.

3. Stay in the moment.  Instead of focusing on what happened that brought you into this conflict, pay attention to what’s going on right now.  Now isn’t the time for blame. Rather now is the time to look for solutions.  THIS conflict IS NOT the time to vent about ALL the difficulties you may have had in the past.  This is merely another opportunity to work together on a solution that will benefit everyone involved.  This is the time you should be concentrating on reaching an equitable solution to THIS problem and then move on in agreement.

4. Decide what’s important right now.  That is called ‘picking your battles’ and is important in determining whether a thing is worth fighting over. Ask yourself if this is just an issue over a minor annoyance that will be easily forgotten, or if you have something deeper going on that maybe needs to be addressed.  However, even if the “thing” seems very trivial, but really disturbs you, express yourself calmly and explain your feelings about the matter.  It might be only one of those “squeezing the toothpaste tube from the middle” kind of situations and can be resolved easily.  It may be a matter that needs more thought and should be discussed at a more convenient time instead of at that precise moment.

5. Know how and when to disengage.  That means being able to do what it takes to walk away.  It might be forgiveness is in order.  It might be that you’re just going to need to agree to disagree.  Worst case scenario?  It might be time just to let the matter go entirely.  Whatever the case, there’s nothing to be gained by staying in the conflict.  So, after some serious thought and consideration, the solution to the problem might turn out to be a dissolution of the relationship.  You may need to know when to gracefully and tactfully exit the situation, doing so with respect and humility.

     Resolving conflicts isn’t a hard skill to learn, but it can be difficult at times.  By following these tips, you will discover how better to deal with conflict in every kind of relationship – whether business or personal.  So take heart – a misunderstanding doesn’t have to mean the end of the world.  Instead look at your conflict as a step toward better understanding that will, in turn, lead to better relationships in the long run.

     Just remember that there is never going to be a “perfect” solution to all your problems and you’re not going to get along with everyone you meeting.  The simple truth is that we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Our greatest conflicts

come from within."

Waiting

      It seems like for most of our lives we are waiting.  There’s probably not an activity that we become involved in that at some point requires us to wait.  Of course, all waiting is, is the allowing of time to pass.  For nothing will get done unless there is a passing of time.  And while we are allowing that time to pass and we are not engaged in any specific activity, we are waiting!

    Some of the most antagonizing moments in our lives are probably those that make us wait.  And being the impatient people that we are, we can become very annoyed when we have to wait.  And having to wait only makes the event we are waiting for seem like it is never going to get here.

     Remember when you were a kid and your folks told you that you were going on vacation.  As soon as you got into the car you began to ask: “Are we there yet?”  As we got older, we could understand the concept of time better and knew that some passing of time was necessary to take a journey from one place to another and this amounted to our having to let time pass by waiting!

     However, merely comprehending the concept of time having to pass has never really satisfied our human desire to have things “NOW!” and not have to wait.  We constantly have to fight the urges of being impatient and wanting things right away.

     I always think of the character Veruca Salt in the movie of “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” (actually from the book, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”).  This little girl is depicted as an immature, over-indulged and manipulative person.  Veruca’s affluent parents treat her like a princess and give her anything she wants, no matter how ridiculous the price.  Within the movie version of the story, she begins to stomp her feet and singing which express her feelings that the things she MUST have, she wants NOW!  She makes well-known the bratty attitude of her character.

     Although we may not demonstrate the degree of demanding impatience as did the character Veruca Salt, we have probably at times been just as determined that something we wanted, we wanted it NOW!  Hopefully our situation didn’t turn out as badly as it did for our dear Veruca?

     When I was in the military, it seemed that almost everything we did was to be done in a hurry.  However, whatever the activity, we would always have to “hurry up and wait!”  We would have to muster out of the barracks as quickly as we could just to stand in formation and wait for our next command.  We always seemed to rushing from this place to that place and then would have to stand in formation and wait!

     It is said that not all waiting is a bad thing.  Perhaps waiting until we understand things better or have more experience in a specific subject or ability could be very beneficial.  You’ve probably heard it said that “good things come to those who wait.” 

     That expression is actually a synonym for the proverbial saying “patience is a virtue.”  Which means that patience is usually rewarded, and that people who are patient will often get what they want and achieve their goals and desires, in time!

     Where do you think that saying came from?  Most often the expression is usually credited to British poet Lady Mary Montgomerie Currie, who wrote under the pseudonym Violet Fane.  She used the saying in her poem “Tout Vient a Qui Sait Attendre” (likely written in the late 1800s) with the lines that read: “All hoped-for things will come to you who have the strength to watch and wait.”

     And so today we continue to spout that saying to our children, to our friends, and family members when we are trying to help them realize that they need more patience within their lives. 

     However, regardless of how we might try to do otherwise, the passing of time will continue to flow at the speed that it has been designed to do.  We can, in actuality, do nothing to speed it up or to slow it down.  While keeping ourselves occupied we may perceive that time is passing more quickly or more slowly, but the truth of the matter is, time is passing the same regardless of our perception of it.  As another old saying puts it “a watched pot never boils.”  But we know that it will boil.  It is only our perception of the passage of time that affects how the passing of that time is conceived.

     As in our youth we think that time is moving so slowly that we must wait for everything to come to pass.  When we have gotten older, it seems that the passage of time has become much faster and we are almost unable to keep up with it passing before our very eyes.  That’s the way our perception of time works until we reach a point when we are only waiting for the passing of time to end.  This is part of our linear existence and the fact that we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"If you weren't waiting,

WHAT would you be doing?"

Laughter

 

     Today it might seem a bit difficult to find a reason to laugh.  With all the many atrocities that are prevalent a person might wonder “What is there to laugh about?”  And that would be a very logical question to consider.  The things that we see and hear around us are not laughing matters.  And by no means would I try to insinuate that we should simply “laugh them off” as if they did not exist or perhaps were not of any value.  But there is good reason why we should consider trying to put some laughter in our lives and seek efforts to focus on the more positive and uplifting moments in our lives.

     There is an old adage that says: “Laughter is the best medicine.”  Believe it or not there is much truth to that statement.  According to https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm laughter draws people together in ways that trigger healthy physical and emotional changes in the body.  It adds: “With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and supporting both physical and emotional health.  Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.”

     You need to review the entire article referenced above for its contents, but just consider a brief listing of how laughter is good for your health:

            Laughter relaxes the whole body.

            Laughter boosts the immune system.

            Laughter triggers the release of endorphins.

            Laughter protects the heart.

            Laughter burns calories.

            Laughter lightens anger’s heavy load.

            Laughter may even help you to live longer.

     With the high cost of medications today, why would someone not want to use this simple, affordable remedy to aid in their health and well-being?

     Although you may not fully understand the reasons behind it, you may wonder “Why do people laugh?”

     Believe it or not, according to Scientific America (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-we-laugh/ ), “humans start laughing as early as 3 months into life, even before we can speak.  This is true even for babies who are deaf or blind.” 

     It doesn’t matter what nationality, your cultural background, ethnicity, or any other factors, ALL people laugh.  It’s true, we may laugh at different things.  We may find one form of humor more enjoyable than another, but we all laugh!

     “Laughter clearly serves a social function.  It is a way for us to signal to another person that we wish to connect with them.  In fact, in a study of thousands of examples of laughter, the speakers in a conversation were found to be 46 percent more likely to laugh than the listeners.”

     So you might ask yourself: “What makes me laugh?”  That is a very open and personal question because different things are funny to different people.  And you might find things funnier if you are in a group instead of by yourself.  You might also tend to laugh differently if you are sharing the moment with a close friend or acquaintance instead of with total strangers.  Laughter itself turns out to be a “funny” thing!

     There are people who make a career as their lifetime passion to make people laugh.  They are called comedians.  Some do this by their speech only, while others are comedic actors.  You may recognize some of the following names:  Jerry Seinfeld, George Carlin, Kevin Hart, Sarah Silverman, Robin Williams, Amy Schumer, Bob Newhart, Don Rickles, Rodney Dangerfield, Jim Carrey, Joan Rivers, Redd Foxx, Adam Sandler, Johnny Carson, Maria Bamford, Tina Fey, Wanda Sykes, Jerry Lewis, Tiffany Haddish, Carol Burnett, Kevin James, Red Skelton, Tim Conway, and the list could go on and on.  You may see some of your favorite comedians within this list or there may be others that you find to be “funny.”  Whatever the case, you know what makes YOU laugh.  Or there are some “jokes”, situations, or circumstances that may become as Larry the Cable Guy might say: “That’s funny I don’t care who you are!”

     With many situations around us being very tense and bringing great pressures upon us every day, you might recall the saying: “Don’t take yourself so seriously!”  But what does that really mean?  The first meaning could simply be understood as “Don’t be so hard on yourself that you wind up thinking that you are the only person who could ever do such a stupid thing.”  Believe it, others have probably done the same (or worse) on occasions. 

     There could also be the meaning: “Lighten up, and learn how to put things into their proper perspective.”  Which really tells you that as terribly agonizing or embarrassing the situation may be at the moment, you’ll live through it!  And you will probably go on to do even more embarrassing things in the future.

     Try to find situations where you can simply laugh about the matter and move on to more important things in your life.  When it comes down to the simple truth, we are very funny creatures.  At times it almost seems that we stumble through our lives and despite the predicaments we put ourselves into, we manage to continue to move forward.  Yes, at times, we are a very pitiful bunch, but then again, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Laughter makes even a

miserable life better!"

Hero

   

     There are several definitions to this word, hero, such as:

1.       A person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.

2.      The chief male character in a book, play, or movie, who is typically identified with good qualities, and with whom the reader is expected to sympathize.

3.      (In mythology and folklore) a person of superhuman qualities and often semidivine origin, in particular one whose exploits were the subject of ancient Greek myths.

     A special report that was done at WALB News in Albany, Georgia several years ago asked people what they thought of when they heard the word hero.  Here are some of their responses.

     “When I think of a hero, I think of somebody like Batman,” said Tyshon Murray.

     “The people that we set up as heroes are people that generally go above and beyond in terms of the call of duty, they do things that are extraordinary,” said Dr. Nick Carden of the Renaissance Center.    

     “Superman, Spiderman, and Batman,” said Haley Suggs.

     Sarah Perry says, “A hero is a person who saves the day.  He’s the one who has all the courage and he has responsibility.”

     And there were many other comments made; however, almost all the comments shared a central theme:  A hero is selfless, a genuinely good person, and someone who gets the undivided attention of all of us and causes change.  Someone willing to risk their own life to save another.

     That is a powerful definition and an extremely high standard to obtain.  However, we all know ordinary individuals, perhaps who have touched our lives personally, who we would describe as a “hero!”

     We can see that today people want a hero.  They are constantly looking for that special someone who is going to swoop into their daily lives and change things for the better.  More articles, books, and movies are produced today with the theme of some type of “avenging hero” to change the course of human history and make the lives of people in general, better, more honorable!

     However, most people don’t truly appreciate that some 2,000 years ago such a “hero” was living upon this earth and prepared the way for the vast majority of humankind to transform their lives into a perfect state.  That person was the historical Jew, Jesus of Nazareth, an ancient City in Israel.  Let’s briefly examine his life in light of the above stated definitions of the word “hero” and see just how this is true.

     Definition (1):  A person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.  Using the qualities that are highlighted here we can see that by this definition, Jesus could absolutely be considered a hero.  Courage:  Jesus stood up to the religious leaders of his day without wavering in his integrity to God.  He was also able to resist the temptations made by the chief agent of evil, Satan the Devil.  Even the Roman Governor, Pontius Pilate, was amazed at the courage displayed by Jesus during his trial and execution.

     Let’s consider the second aspect of this definition: outstanding achievements.  I don’t think anyone would disagree with the fact that the teachings of Jesus have affected the lives of millions of people over several thousand years.  The changes that have been made have improved lives, families, and communities beyond any other teaching that has been available upon the earth.  We recognize that after a period of time has passed many teachings of humans have had to be changed or at least adjusted in various degrees.  But what Jesus taught has stood the test of time as not only reliable, but greatly beneficial.

     The third aspect of our first definition is: noble qualities.  Again, it cannot be denied that Jesus (other than Adam at his creation) has been the only perfect human who has ever lived upon this planet.  Jesus completely reflected the moral standards and teachings of his heavenly father who had sent him to this earth to provide a means by which humans could be released from the condemnation of death that Adam had brought into the world.  There could be no more noble cause than that!

     Yes, according to the requirements of our first definition, Jesus is definitely a hero!

     Let’s consider our second definition: (2) The chief male character in a book, play, or movie, who is typically identified with good qualities, and with whom the reader is expected to sympathize.  Jesus is certainly the “chief male character” of the Bible.  From the pronounce of the first prophecy in the Bible at Genesis 3:15, Jesus would prove to be the key character of the “seed” of God’s woman who would finally bring to nothing the acts of the great adversary, Satan, crushing him out of existence.   No other person can be “identified with good qualities” greater than those displayed by Jesus during his life here upon the earth.  Under the most grueling of circumstances to the point of a painful and unjustified death, his “good qualities” continued to be expressed.  Upon his torture stake, immediately prior to his expiring, his words of prayer were: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” [Luke 23:34, NIV]

     And as flesh and blood creatures ourselves we can certainly “sympathize” with the events of Jesus’ life when he was here upon the earth.  We can understand and appreciate the need for comforting words in our own lives and the need to display the “good qualities” that Jesus showed to others.

     Yes, according to the requirements of our second definition, Jesus is definitely a hero!

     And now, our final definition: (3) (In mythology and folklore) a person of superhuman qualities and often semidivine origin, in particular one whose exploits were the subject of ancient Greek myths.  Jesus lived at a time when many mythological and stories of folklore abounded.  However, he was not a myth and not the subject of simply folklore of the past.  He was a real person who existed during the times as mentioned in the Bible.  Even his enemies never denied his existence as a real person. 

     Jesu, by its basic definition, displayed “superhuman” abilities.  That is, “having or showing exceptional ability or powers.”   Although he never claimed to have these abilities of his own initiative, Jesus displayed the ability to recall details of events perfectly, he could walk on water, defying gravity, he could heal the sick and raise the dead.  He could even “read the hearts” of those around him, knowing the true motives for their words and actions.  And there can be no doubt that he had a “semidivine origin.”  The Apostle Peter, himself, when Jesus asked his disciples who they thought he was, declared: “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” [Matthew 16:16, English Standard Version]

     Yes, this definition also shows that Jesus was indeed, a hero!

     However, with so much evidence and explanation, many still do not accept Jesus for who he really is.  Since, he didn’t fly around in spandex, wearing a cape, and crushing wicked people under his mighty blows, he doesn’t fit the “picture” that many have in their minds of a hero.  And unlike many of the comic book heroes and those  portrayed upon the “silver screen”, Jesus does not appear to be the type of person that many want to emulate today.  He is not the example they want to follow.

    Even though we have more than enough evidence to prove otherwise, Jesus is not the “role model” that younger ones (or even older ones) want to copy.  Against our own best interests we often continue to make foolish mistakes and do not look in the right place for his faithful model to follow.  That is exactly why we need such a hero, because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"There can be a hero in all of us."

What About This ---

      As I have mentioned in several of my past blogs, we are a strange bunch of creatures.  There are times when we want to spend our money and yet still have our money.  There are times when we want the best of services, but we are not willing to pay for those services.  There are times when we want things to be the way we think they should be when all the facts are telling us just the opposite!  Yes, we are a strange lot and yet that is how we are.  I thought we might consider today a couple of points that will highly the very fact that I am mentioning.

     What about this?  In most places people within a certain City of a certain State (or District) within a certain Country want to have the public services that are provided by such entities.  Consider: Most people want good schools for their children so they can learn to grow up and become responsible, law-abiding citizens.  They want better roads within their communities so that any travel they do will be one of pleasure and not a complete misery because of the poor degrading streets and highways they have because of a lack of maintenance. 

     Most people would want to live in a safe, secure neighborhood where they could count on having police and fire service when and if these became necessary.  Many enjoy the benefits of a local library (or branch) within their community so their children and themselves can have access to a wide variety of educational materials and programs.

     And, no doubt, there are many who enjoy the benefits of other programs that are provided by Local, State, and Federal governments.  However, where do most people think the money comes from to support all these various services that they are seeking to benefit from?

     Local government revenue comes from property taxes, and other taxes; charges and fees; and transfers from federal and state governments.  State and Federal governments get their revenues from income taxes, sales taxes, and other fees and tariffs.

     However, the vast majority of the people who want all the benefits and advantages that I first mentioned, DO NOT want to pay higher taxes and fees to get them!  How do people think the new, additional, or increases services are going to be provided if there is NO money to cover the cost of such things?  You’re always hearing those political ads where individuals are making great promises for improving this or that service or benefit and then they will add: “NO new taxes!”  How can a person truly believe statements like that?

     That is how many individuals get elected into public office, because people always want something for nothing!  And in today’s world they think they have a RIGHT to have them without the responsibility to pay for them.  In it’s simplest form it just doesn’t make sense.  If you wanted a new vehicle for your family household, do you think you could get it without payment?  Could you operate it (fuel, license, maintenance, etc.) without having to cover the cost?  I think most people could understand the logic of that type of thinking.

     Consider this:  There are more than 2.5 BILLION professed Christians in the world today.  However, what does it mean to be “Christian?”  This means to be “Christ-like.”  Or to follow the pattern of living and the teachings as taught by the Christ when he was here upon the earth.

     He instructed his followers to live their lives according to truth.  He also provided the answer as to what this meant.  At John 17:17 he informed people what should be our basis for truth.  “Your word is truth.”  So an individual should be learning what God’s word (the Bible) teaches and modify our life accordingly as did Jesus.  In accord with those criteria what about this?

      The vast majority of “Christians” have the belief that when they die, they will either go to “hell” if they have practiced “bad” during their life or they will go to “heaven” if they have lived a “good” life.  Let’s examine God’s word of truth in finding out what it really says about this.

     In the Genesis account of creation, only ONE stipulation was laid upon the man.  It is recorded in chapter 2, verses 16 and 17:  God laid this command upon him, that he could eat from every tree of the garden to satisfaction.  However, he was forbidden to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and bad.  It was plainly stated that if he should eat from it, he would die!  It is logical, therefore, to conclude that IF Adam HAD NOT eaten from that tree he would have continued to live and would still be living among us today, because there was no other stipulation for his existence to end.  Therefore there was never a condition where a human would have been allowed to exist in the heavenly realm.  But Adam had sinned and his actions resulted in his death and as the Apostle Paul later explained it (as recorded in the New International Version): “Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way, death came to all people, because all sinned.”  So, in fact, Adam is responsible for our dying today because of the sin he brought into the world.  Although he had been created perfect, he had now fallen short by his disobedience and “missed” the mark of perfection.  He could only pass on as an inheritance to his offspring that which he now possessed – sin and death!

     Now some will want to argue that yes, the body dies, but the soul lives on forever.  However, this is not what is stated in God’s word of truth.  In the English Standard Version (as well as many others), Ezekiel 18:20 states: “The soul who sins shall die.”  That’s a plain and very straight forward statement.  But we should not be surprised by that statement when we remember that in Genesis, we were told that Adam “became a living soul.”  Or a living being, or a living person.  A soul is therefore nothing but the living individual themselves and as such is susceptible to death or non-existence.

     Jesus himself better explained death to us.  As recorded in John 11:11 (New International Version), Jesus told his apostles, after he had learned that Lazarus was sick, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I am going there to wake him up.”    Then in verse 14 he plainly stated: “Lazarus is dead.”  Thus Jesus explained that death is like a very deep sleep from which a person may be awaken by the power of God.

     Consider this:  If you were applying for your license to be a lawyer, or a doctor, or a CPA, or any other controlled profession and you FAILED the exam for your license, would the testing board say, we’re going to reward him anyway and give him his license and let him practice his profession within our State?  I don’t think so!  You are not rewarded in any area for failing or “missing the mark” of the passing grade.  So why would God, although Adam had failed his test of obedience, reward him with life in heaven.  A condition that was never offered to him from the very beginning?

     Also consider this:  Why is it that all these “Christian” people who make the profession that when they die, they are going to heaven, try everything within their power to keep living any time a life-threatening situation comes upon them?  On many occasions, they are willing to try some extreme procedures or medications to extend their lives so they don’t die?  It’s quite simple to understand when we look at God’s word of truth.  As we are told in 1 Corinthians 15:26 in many translations: “The last enemy to be destroyed is death.”  Death is our enemy.  We were not supposed to experience death.  That’s why we try all that we can to “cheat” death from taking our lives every opportunity we can.

     What about this:  We must remember that because of the sin that Adam brought into the world, God’s purpose for mankind had to make a detour (so to speak).  A new arrangement had to be implemented so that humankind could be “reconciled to God through the death of his Son.” (Romans 5:10)  So it was arranged by God that “through his (Jesus) death he might bring to nothing the one having the means to cause death, that is, the Devil.” (Hebrews 2:14)  To accomplish a complete restoration of the situation, God “purposed for an administration at the full limit of the appointed times, to gather all things together in the Christ.” (Ephesians 1:10)  In Revelation 7:4 we are told that this administration will consist of Christ Jesus and 144,000 other individuals who have been selected by God to share in this arrangement in the heavens.

     As the apostle Paul mentions in his opening words of the bible book of Romans (1:7), he is writing “to all those who are in Rome as God’s beloved ones, called to be holy ones.”  This or a similar term is mentioned many times in the writings of the Greek Scriptures (New Testament).  So many of these writings are letters that were written with information to be share with those who had received that special invitation from God to be part of that administration with his Son in the heavens.

     Now, for just a moment, imagine that you found (or was given) a letter that had been written by the leaders of The United Brotherhood of Carpenters.  Within this letter it spoke of a future date when all the “brothers” of that organization would be meeting in a “special location” to oversee the future arrangements of the organization.  Would you immediately begin to make arrangements to travel to that location because you wanted to be part of that “administration?”  Or simply because you read the letter, would you immediately jump to the conclusion that all these things to occur applied to YOU?

     I don’t think you would.  But many “Christians” although feeling that they are to be rewarded with a gift of heavenly life, feel that everything they read in God’s word applies to them personally.  No, only a selected (by God) few will have that privilege of life in the heavens, but the vast majority of humankind will have the same prospects that were given to Adam when he was first created and place in the garden of Eden.  A prospect of a perfect life on a paradise earth.  Jesus told an evildoer on a stake alongside him shortly before his death, “… you will be with me in Paradise.” (Luke 23:42,43)  We now know that Jesus was not offering this evildoer a reward in heaven for his bad life.  But he was offering him the prospect of being resurrected to live in the new earth (or Paradise) that was to come.

     Two simple points for consideration have been highlighted within this blog post.  I certainly feel that they demonstrate that it is within our makeup to always want things our way or to take things for granted if we want them to be a certain way.  Sometimes even in the face of facts that demonstrate it is not going to happen.  That is the inclinations we have about so many situations, but then again, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Why do we long for the things 

for which we can not have 

and are never satisfied 

with what is given to us as a gift?"

Preparing for Old Age

      It is said that Socrates was once asked by a pupil, this question: "What kind of people shall we be when we reach Elysium?"   And the answer he was given was this: "We shall be the same kind of people that we were here."

     When I was younger my father, who I didn’t consider a well-educated man at the time, once told me: “Son, if you live long enough, you’ll be old!”  How true his words have turned out to be!

     Have you ever asked yourself, “What kind of a man shall I be tomorrow?”  “Oh, about the same kind of a man that I am now”, should be your answer.  The kind of a man (or woman) that I shall be next month depends upon the kind of a man (or woman) that I am preparing myself to be this month.

     If I am miserable today, it is not within the round of probabilities that I shall be supremely happy tomorrow. You have probably heard it said, “Practice makes perfect.”  However, you can “practice” something WRONG all day long and you will not be any closer to perfection than you were when you started.  You cannot do the same thing over and over again the same way and expect to get a different result!

     Everyday life is a preparation for the future; and the best preparation for the future is to live as if there were none!  This may sound strange, but consider: “If you want your life to improve and be better when you are older, you must begin NOW to make it that way in the future.  How many of us have looked back on our lives and wished that we had done things differently when we were younger?  There’s probably more of us than want to admit it.

     In this present world, we are preparing all the time for old age. From the moment of our birth, we begin to age.  That is a biological fact!  There are none of us who can escape it.  However, being older doesn’t have to the “down” side of our lives.  The two things that make old age beautiful are resignation and a just consideration for the rights of others.

     In the play of Ivan the Terrible, the interest centers around one man, the Czar Ivan.  If anybody but Richard Mansfield played the part, there would be nothing in it.  We simply get a glimpse into the life of a tyrant who has run the full gamut of grumpiness, selfishness and grouch.  Incidentally this man had the power to put other men to death, and this he does and has done as his whim and temper might dictate.  He has been vindictive, cruel, quarrelsome, tyrannical and terrible.  Now that he feels the approach of death, he would make his peace with God.  But he has delayed that matter too long.  He didn't realize in youth and middle life that he was then preparing for his old age and the consequences of his earlier actions.

     Man is the result of cause and effect, and the causes are to a degree in our hands.  Life is a fluid, and well has it been called the stream of life we are going, flowing somewhere.  Strip Ivan of his robes and crown, and he might be an old farmer and live in Ebenezer.  Every town and village have its own Ivan counter-part.  To be an Ivan, just turn your temper loose and practice cruelty on any person or thing within your reach, and the result will be a sure preparation for a querulous, quarrelsome, pickety, snippety, fussy and foolish old age, accented with many outbursts of wrath that are terrible in their futility and ineffectiveness.

     Babyhood has no monopoly on the tantrum.  The characters of King Lear and Ivan the Terrible have much in common.  One might almost believe that the writer of Ivan had felt the incompleteness of Lear, and had seen the absurdity of making a melodramatic bid for sympathy in behalf of this old man thrust out by his daughters.  Lear, the troublesome, Lear to whose limber tongue there was constantly leaping words unprintable and names of tar, deserves no soft pity at our hands.  All his life he had been training his three daughters for exactly the treatment he was to receive.  All his life Lear had been lubricating the chute that was to give him a quick ride out into that black midnight storm.  "Oh, how sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child," he cries.  There is something quite as bad as a thankless child, and that is a thankless parent an irate, irascible parent who possesses an underground vocabulary and a disposition to use it.

     The false note in Lear lies in giving to him a daughter like Cordelia.  Tolstoy and Mansfield ring true, and Ivan the Terrible is what he is without apology, excuse or explanation.  Take it or leave it if you do not like plays of this kind, go to see Vaudeville or some other comedy.  Or perhaps you are the type to consider something from the Marvel Universe!

     Mansfield's Ivan is terrible.  The Czar is not old in years not over seventy but you can see that Death is sniffing close upon his track.  Ivan has lost the power of repose.  He cannot listen, weigh and decide he has no thought or consideration for any man or thing this is his habit of life.  His bony hands are never still the fingers open and shut, and pick at things eternally.  He fumbles the cross on his breast, adjusts his jewels, scratches his cosmos, plays the devil's tattoo, gets up nervously and looks behind the throne, holds his breath to listen.  When people address him, he damns them savagely if they kneel, and if they stand upright, he accuses them of lack of respect.  He asks that he be relieved from the cares of state, and then trembles for fear his people will take him at his word.  When asked to remain ruler of Russia he proceeds to curse his councilors and accuses them of loading him with burdens that they themselves would not endeavor to bear.

     He is a victim of amor senilis, and right here if Mansfield took one step more his realism would be appalling, but he stops in time and suggests what he dares not express.  This tottering, doddering, slobbering, sniffling old man is in love he is about to wed a young, beautiful girl.  He selects jewels for her he makes remarks about what would become her beauty, jeers and laughs in cracked falsetto.  In the animality of youth there is something pleasing it is natural but the vices of an old man, when they have become only mental, are most revolting.

     The people about Ivan are in mortal terror of him, for he is still the absolute monarch he has the power to promote or disgrace, to take their lives or let them go free.  They laugh when he laughs, cry when he does, and watch his fleeting moods with thumping hearts.  He is intensely religious and affects the robe and cowl of a priest.  Around his neck hangs the crucifix.  His fear is that he will die with no opportunity of confession and absolution.  He prays to High Heaven every moment, kisses the cross, and his toothless old mouth interjects prayers to God and curses on man in the same breath.

     If anyone is talking to him, he looks the other way, slips down until his shoulders occupy the throne, scratches his leg, and keeps up a running comment of insult "Aye," "Oh," "Of course," "Certainly," "Ugh," "Listen to him now!"  There is a comedy side to all this which relieves the tragedy and keeps the play from becoming disgusting.  Glimpses of Ivan's past are given in his jerky confessions he is the most miserable and unhappy of men, and you behold that he is reaping as he has sown.

     All his life he has been preparing for this.  Each day has been a preparation for the next.  Ivan dies in a fit of wrath, hurling curses on his family and court, dies in a fit of wrath into which he has been purposely taunted by a man who knows that the outburst is certain to kill the weakened monarch.  Where does Ivan the Terrible go when Death closes his eyes?

     According to scriptural fact, he now lies in death, the place of “sleep” for those who have finished their life course.  But this I believe and know to be true, that in the case of Ivan and all others, no confessional can absolve them, nor any priest can benefit them.  He has damned himself, and he began the work in youth.  He was getting ready all his life for this old age, and this old age was getting ready for the final scene of his life.

     The playwright does not say so, Mansfield does not say so, but this is the lesson:  Hate is a poison, wrath is a toxin, sensuality leads to death clutching selfishness is a lighting of the fires of being cursed.  It is all a preparation cause and effect.

     We often hear of the beauties of old age, but the only old age that is beautiful is the one the man has long been preparing for by living a beautiful life.  Every one of us, regardless of our current age, are right now preparing for old age.

     Sadly, this is a reality that we often don’t realize until it is too late for us to make any necessary changes.  But we should still try to do so.  As part of our temperament, we try to stall off to the last minute the things that we should be working on constantly.  We tend to procrastinate on so many things within our lives.  However, preparing for our later years should not be one of them.  The biggest problem is we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"If only youth had the wisdom,

and old age had the strength!"