Disappointment is generally defined as the
sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or
expectations. It might also refer to a
person, event, or thing that causes disappointment.
We could be disappointed at a person
because they don’t live up to our expectations.
I remember once when I was younger a movie crew came to my hometown to
shoot a remake of a very famous movie.
The stars were there to do their filming only a block from my house in
an old school yard and building that has since been torn down. The female star was a person that I had
watched grow up in a popular television program. I felt thrilled that I would have the opportunity
to see this person live working in this movie remake. However, how disappointed I was when between
every shot that was done, this actress would be puffing on a cigarette! In my mind it crushed the image of this
person that I had gained watching her perform on her previous television program.
There are times when we can become
disappointed even in ourselves. It could
happen because of any number of reasons, but the results are the same. We didn’t loose the weight we had purposed to
lose because we didn’t allow ourselves to remain on the diet we had prepared. We didn’t get the grades we wanted in school because
we didn’t put in the proper time in study.
We didn’t put in the time necessary for preparation for a job interview
and thereby didn’t get the job offer.
The list of disappointing events could go on and on, but it the end we
become frustrated with ourselves and very disappointed!
The same disappointment could come about
due to the results of some event in our lives.
It could be that we have been employed at a firm or company for many
years and always seem to be “passed over” when it comes to getting some
promotion. Maybe we feel that we deserve
the promotion merely due to the number of years we have worked there not
realizing that the position requires certain qualifications that we have failed
to obtain.
All the above-mentioned situations can be
the reasons that we become disappointed however, we should not accept those
disappointments and continue to wallow in self-piety. We should learn from those situations and
make the necessary adjustments as we can to place ourselves in a better
position to achieve success in the future.
We must however realize that we can make such changes within ourselves,
but we may not be able to make such changes to another individual.
The facts being known, we may not be able
to do anything about the situations. We
may have to learn to live with that particular disappointment. How can we do that? According to Psychology Today (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understand-other-people/201705/dealing-disappointment-in-life
) you may want to consider the following:
“There are things you can do to relieve yourself of
disappointment from a past event, and prepare yourself for any disappointments
that are likely to come in the future. How can you move out of disappointment
and into more peace and happiness?
1.
Accept that
disappointment happens to everyone – and it
happened to you. It
can be helpful to start by normalizing the situation. No one gets through this
life without disappointment; some are bigger than others, but everyone
experiences it. Know that you are in good company and accept your state as
perfectly normal.
2.
Instead of
sitting in your state indefinitely, once you have allowed yourself to
acknowledge that you are in good company, start the process of reframing. Reframing means taking any situation and putting a
more objective “frame” around it. It can be helpful at this step to actually
write your disappointment down, like journal notes. Record what happened but
capture it like a journalist. Be clinical. Trying to separate the emotions from
what happened is helpful to getting some personal power back.
3.
Change your self-talk. Instead of talking to yourself as if this was the
worst thing that could happen to you, shift your language to something more
powerful (yet still true) – “It happened and now I need to figure out my next
steps.” Or “Disappointment happens to everyone but it doesn’t have to stop me
from moving on.” Or “I’m disappointed, but who dictates that I have to wallow
in it? I can do something differently right now if I choose.” Any time you hear
yourself say to yourself, “It’s the end of the world” or “I can’t go on” or
“I’m a terrible person with bad luck”, allow these phrases to be a trigger to
shift the talk to something more positive.
4.
Make a plan. Having a way to move forward when you’ve been
thwarted and feel stuck is important. Don’t make grand plans – “I’m going to
move to Costa Rica and start another life” – unless you have the will and the
means to do so. Instead, start small; set a goal of something you can
accomplish and move confidently in the direction of it. Experiencing some form
of accomplishment can send the message to your mind and your emotions that you
can do it, so go ahead and do it!”
So,
looking at the BIG picture: The disappointment may be great and
personally devastating, but we can get over it perhaps with much effort. And never forget that disappointing
situations will continue to happen to all of us because we’re only human!
QUOTE TO CONSIDER
"Dealing with success is important.
Dealing with disappointment is more important."
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