One day not too
long ago I gave my son this long eloquent speech about the need to be more responsible
in his life. He had just turned 15 years
and 9 months old and was about to get his temporary permit for driving. After I had finished what I thought must have
been paramount to a Pulitzer Prize acceptance speech, my son looked at me and
asked, “Day, what the heck are you talking about?’
Sometimes we
become so concerned about “how” we’re going to say something that we
forget “what” it is we’re trying to say!
I know I’ve done that, even when I sit down to write one of my articles.
After I’ve put words to paper, I stretch back in my seat, take a deep breath
and read what has emerged from my keyboard.
You read over a point and then that little voice inside your head says “What!” It’s almost as if your fingers have been
running across the keyboard at random and not with any of your control over the
words that pour across the screen.
When you’re
giving instructions to someone, how often do you have to repeat yourself? And how often, even after they have convinced
you that they know exactly what you said, do you find the job has been
done wrong or at least not exactly the way you wanted it?
The problem is twofold. First we often have a difficult time in
explaining to someone what it is that we really want or what we want done. We let them guide our requirements. Does the following conversation sound
familiar? You’ve just taken your “pride
and joy” to the printers:
“I’d like to get
this printed in booklet form.”
“Oh yes,” the
printer says looking over your papers.
“What I’d like
---.” The printer quickly has analyzed
your needs.
“This would look
great collated, saddle stitched, bound with an attractive vellum cover.”
“Well, yea,
that’s good.”
Now don’t get me
wrong. I’ve used various printers and
I’ve accepted many of the suggestions that have been offered. But making the final decision has always been
left up to me. My point is we need to
express ourselves better.
The second point
is we need to learn to listen better.
Really understand WHAT is
being said instead of hastily jumping to the conclusion. Remember conversation is a two way
street. Maybe the good Lord was trying
to tell us something. We have TWO
ears and only ONE mouth. Maybe we
should practice listening TWICE
as much as we talk!
QUOTE TO CONSIDER
THOUGHTFUL GEM
"Sometimes the only way to truly
help someone is to LISTEN to them."
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