Can I Make It Any Simpler?

            I can’t believe some of the things people do to really make their lives and their work more complicated.  And when you try to do something that, at least in my mind, would make things easier on them they just DON’T get it!  Sometimes to help people out you just can’t confuse them by “throwing” something at them that is not “ordinary.”

            For example, you’ve probably noted that most fast food places have REALLY tried to simplify their ordering system.  In the past you would go into such a place and request your order: one cheeseburger, a large fry and a coke!  That’s pretty simple and straight forward, right?  Well, now all that is no longer necessary.  You just walk up to the counter and order a No. 2!  The clerk rings up your order, you pay, and shortly you’re on your way.  The clerk doesn’t have to make change for you.  That’s all done by the register.  And PLEASE don’t ask them to count your change back to you.  They have NO idea what you are talking about, if they are not older than 30.  Clerks at these places are not required “to think” about anything.  And therein lays the problem!  When you go up and order a No. 2 WITH MODIFICATIONS, you throw a complete curve to most of the clerks.  They usually have NO idea how the order has to be changed in the register.  And most of the time they have to call for assistance from management, thereby slowing the ordering process.  All the people in line behind you are giving YOU that “look” because now they are not going to be able to get their food as quickly as they want!  And MANY times when you finally get your order --- IT’S NOT RIGHT!  Let me give you just a couple of personal examples.  Again if you remember some things I’ve written before, or if you happen to know me personally, I am a VERY picky eater.  So what I am about to tell you will make more sense?  And, believe it or not, I am not exaggerating the stories.

            The first example happened many years ago when I was in the military.  At the time I was serving a two year tour in Turkey.  My wife and I had gone to a movie at the theater on base and were trying to “waste” a little time waiting for the bus that would be going back to town, so we decided to stop into the cafeteria for a quick snack.  Now where I was station (Incirlik Air Base in Adana) was actually a Turkish base with U. S. personal assigned there, so all the facilities on base were run by Turkish civilians.  Now, at some point, to “Americanize” the services in the various facilities there must have been some type of “training” on how operations should be handled.  Having explained that to you, I want to give you the details of the conversation with the cafeteria cook when I went to order two hot dogs.  I forgot to mention, at this time I was trying to “cut back” on some of my carbs so I only wanted to order two PLAIN wieners.

            “Good evening, my friend, what you want me to make for you tonight?”  The Turkish people working on the base knew English fairly well.

            “I just want to get two wieners.”

            “So, you want two hot dogs!” he replied.

            “No, I was only wanting to buy the two wieners.”

            “No, my friend, hot dog!  You take bun, add wiener, put mustard, catsup, pickles, onions, make hot dog! Twenty-five cents each!” He was using his hands to show the procedure of putting everything together.

            “I understand,” was my reply, “I’ll pay the twenty-five cents each, but I only want the wieners.”

            “You don’t understand,” he replied back.  “Hot dog: take bun, add wiener, put mustard, catsup, pickles, onions, make hot dog!  Twenty-five cents!”

            Once more I tried to explain it to him.  How can I make it any simpler?  “I know what a hot dog is, but I ONLY want the wieners.  I’ll pay you the twenty-five cents each but only for the wieners.”

            He looked at me and became VERY stern in his reply:  “HOT DOG!  Bun, wiener, mustard, catsup, pickles, onions, twenty-five cents!”  He was boldly demonstrating with his hands the entire preparation process.

            I looked at him and, after shrugging my shoulders, I said: “FRIEND!  Give me two hot dogs!”

            And with a big smile on his face he began to prepare the order I had finally placed.

            The second experience happened here at home during a visit to our local Carl’s Jr restaurant.  Again I was attempting to order one of their specialty burgers, but all I wanted was the burger, the cheese, and the bun.  Does that sound very difficult to you?  Well, here’s the way the ordering process went.

            Me:  “I’d like to order your big cheeseburger.  But, I only want the bun, the meat, and the cheese.”

            Clerk:  “You don’t want the lettuce?”

            Me:  “No.  I only want the bun, the meat, and the cheese.”

            Clerk:  “You don’t want the tomato?”

            Me:  “No.  I only want the bun, the meat, and the cheese.”

            Clerk:  “You don’t want any pickles?”

            Me:  “None!   Only the bun, the meat, and the cheese.”

            Clerk:  “That comes with the special sauce.  Do you want that?”

            Me:  “NO!  I only want the bun – the meat – and the cheese!”

            Clerk:  “OK.  Your order will be right out.”

            After my wife had placed her order we paid and then found ourselves a table and waited for our order.

            It seemed like a very long time before our order arrived and I looked at my wife and told her there was probably something wrong because it had taken too long.

            Finally the order arrived and I began to unwrap my burger.  The first thing I did was place the burger on the wrapper and remove the top bun.  I mean, it’s not that I didn’t trust them on getting the order right.  But, I DIDN’T TRUST THEM!  There, lying in the middle of the beef patty, was an onion ring! 

            My wife looked at me and said:  “You didn’t say NO onion ring!”  I just took a deep breath and thought “Can I Make I Any Simpler?”

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"THINK before you open your mouth and speak ---

pause --- then THINK again!"