I remember the first HUGE phase adjustment within my life was
when I graduated from high school and moved about 700 miles from home to start
a new job and live in a new location. It
was a major shock to my system. First, I
realized that the “cloths fairy” had not moved with me! I mean, when I changed my clothes, they didn’t
miraculously reappear several days later back in my closet all fresh and
clean! I also came to realize that when
I got home from work at the end of the day, there wasn’t a hot meal waiting for
me on the table! NO, I had to
begin to do those things (and others) for myself or they didn’t get done!
Then, the next phase adjustment I had to make was when I got
married. That was a total change. You had to stop thinking only about yourself
and what you wanted, but give thought to the needs and consideration of
another. As soon as we realize, there
are ALWAYS going to phase changes within our lives and learn how
to best cope and adjust to them, the better our entire life is going to be.
If you’re facing a new phase in your life, you might be feeling a bit
nervous. Will it work out? Was this the right decision? Whether it’s a new job or a new relationship,
here some tips for making the most of your fresh start. Just remember, these are not hard and fast
rules that you can simply follow step-by-step and all your decisions will
become perfect. You will have to work
these suggestions into your life and periodically make changes as needed. But they give you a starting point in dealing
with your phase changes.
1. Don’t Fear Failure
Fear of failure is probably the number one fear that most people have to face. Many people are so scared they’ll mess up, they never try anything new. And that’s a real shame because unless you take a few risks, you won’t get anywhere, and you’ll never reach your true potential. Reframe failure as a lesson in what not to do next time. I’ve used this expression many times in the past; however, it is always fitting: “When a reporter asked, ‘How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?’ concerning Thomas Edison’s attempts at inventing the light bulb. Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.” If you make a mistake or something doesn’t work out, you’re just a step closer to success. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
2. Talk to People
Did you know that most opportunities come from outside your usual
network? Be open to new possibilities by
talking to people you don’t know. From a
casual conversation in the coffee shop to chatting to the person in the next
seat at a conference dinner or someone sitting next to you on a plane flight,
you never know who you’re about to connect with and where that connection might
lead. “It was on July 6, 1957, the day
Paul McCartney and John Lennon had their first encounter during a church [festival]
at St. Peter’s Church in Liverpool. It
was a humble little meeting that turned out to be one of the most historic in
rock history.” https://www.billboard.com/articles/news/7857194/paul-mccartney-john-lennon-60-anniversary#:~:text=July%206%2C%201957%20was%20the,most%20historic%20in%20rock%20history.
When John Lennon and
Paul McCartney started writing and recording songs together as part of the
Beatles, they had no idea how far their partnership would take them. While the band, as a whole, lives on as one of
the most influential in history, the dynamic creative partnership that Lennon
and McCartney embodied was the driving force behind the sound that changed
popular music forever. There was a wonderful interview
program on Hulu recently with Rick Rubin and Paul McCartney (McCartney 3, 2,
1). If you haven’t seen it yet, it would
be well worth your time. Be
approachable, be polite, and make new friends.
3. Know What You Stand For
Whether you’re aware of it or not, you have your own set of personal
values. Make those values conscious and
write your own personal mission statement. What are your core beliefs? What is your purpose in life? Find a solid source of council and standards
to base your personal values on. Don’t
let others define who you are. Once you
know what you stand for, you can align your actions and focus on your path to
success. Think of it as your own
personal roadmap. Make sure your “compass”
is pointing you always in the right direction and, come what may, stay the
course!
4. Be Aware of Your Personal Biases
Successful people don’t let their personal opinions get in the way of
achieving their goals. Your opinions are not the same as your values. It is often said that opinions are like noses,
most people have one! But YOUR
opinions will not always be right. Values,
on the other hand, are the bedrock of what’s important in your life. You can have an opinion about sports or
politics or how you prefer your steak, but don’t confuse views with what’s best
for you. If a nontraditional opportunity
comes up, think it through and work out if it’s in your best interest.
5. Celebrate Your Successes
It’s essential to celebrate the milestones as you check them off on the way to achieving your goals. Celebrating small successes keeps your motivation and your energy level high. It also makes those big life goals seem a bit less daunting. Just imagine back to your FIRST day of school in the FIRST grade! You sat at your tiny little desk and probably had no idea of all the things ahead of you to learn and absorb. What if the teacher plopped on your desk EVERY book and lesson assignment that you would have to handle for the next TWELVE years of your schooling? This would no doubt make you feel that school was going to be a daunting and harrowing experience and that you would NEVER be able to get all these things done! Now you can better understand why these things were presented to you in steps (over 12 years) and you could better enjoy your learning years.
We have to face all our goals in a similar fashion. Break down your goals into more achievable steps and celebrate your successes at each of these phases. High-five yourself for everything you check off your to-do list, and you’ll soon find yourself celebrating the big wins.
There WILL be set-backs and their will
be disappointments, but that is the nature of life. We all must face these (and many other)
changes or phases within our life. It is
HOW we deal with them that will determine if we are successful or
not. Just never forget that while we are
having to deal with these phases, we may not always handle them in the best way
because we’re only human!
QUOTE TO CONSIDER
"Never let others
convince you, you can't!"
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