Believe in YOUSELF!

     There will never be anyone in your life who will provide you with the encouragement that you need to continue to move forward in your life as much as you will.  Of all the “cheerleaders” you will have in your corner during your life, yours will be the voice that will echo in your ears the loudest and the longest.  If you cannot believe in yourself, who will? 

     Think back to a time in your life when someone inspired you.  It could be a conference you attended or saw online.  You could have read a profile of someone you admired in an article or on the internet.  Whatever the case, the motivation of others can be a great strengthening aid to how you see yourself.

     You have likely read books about famous people who you admired or perhaps you saw a documentary of their life on television.  These often show you what they had to go through to become the successful person that gave you motivation within your own life.  They highlighted about the pain they had to endure and all the challenges they faced to achieve their goals.  Sometimes, the stories will shock you.  It’s hard to believe that these famous people ever had to deal with adverse situations.  But not everyone who has become successful in their lives are individuals who were born “with a silver spoon in their mouths.”  Many of them had to struggle, and struggle hard, to get where there are today and their life stories can be very motivational.

     The internet gives us plenty of opportunities to view stories of high-profile people.  Just search on YouTube, and you will find hundreds (if not thousands) of videos of these people describing their experiences.  You may find books covering the same subject, but videos may have more impact on you.  However, there's usually much more detail in books rather than in a video.  Therefore, you should take advantage of both so that you are able to get the complete story.

     Sometimes, you might be lucky enough to meet the people who you admire.  You can often meet people at conferences and seminars.  It’s great to talk to these people and ask them questions.  Most people in this position will gladly accept these questions.  It’s part of the process.  Of course, you want to be respectful of their time and not hog the question-and-answer sessions all to yourself.  There may be others who also admire these people in some regards and they will perhaps have questions that you haven’t yet thought of.

     It’s great to have others who help motivate you.  However, if you place them too high on a pedestal, you may find it difficult to motivate yourself.  You will start to believe these people have an innate ability that you don’t possess.  That is counterproductive.  It may make you begin to feel that YOU will NEVER be able to accomplish what they have done within their lives and you will want to give up and never try.  You need to realize they all started the same as you.  Some may have had initial advantages, but even people with these advantages don’t always do right with them.  Most people still need to work hard to attain their goals.  And not everyone has the same goals.  It’s not always MONEY that makes a person successful, nor is it necessarily fame.  You will have to determine what will be the prize at the end of your goals that will give you the reward of success.

     Another issue is spending too much time listening or reading about people who motivate you.  At some point, you must take appropriate action to get going with your own goals.  It is worthwhile to feed off the motivation of others, but you need to do more than going to seminars or reading books.  None of that matters unless you put in the effort yourself.  Once that happens, others may be coming to you one day saying how you helped motivate them.  You might think of it as being the fan in the stadium who cheers on his favorite football player to score a goal.  The cheers and excitement of the fans may inspire and motivate the player to do his best and attempt the score on every play.  However, it is the player who must get the ball and actually make the touchdown.  The fans can’t do it for him.

     The same is true for us in life.  Others may inspire us to move forward with great aspirations.  But it is each of us individually who must make the needed efforts for the goal to be reached.  And you should never forget that regardless of how much others inspire us, nor how much we individually motivate ourselves, we also have that great enemy of self-doubt warring against us because we’re only human! 

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"The greatest fan 

on your side

is YOU!"

Happier Being YOU!

      Have you ever been a victim of bullying?  This can be extremely difficult to deal with, especially if you are a young person.  According to www.stopbullying.gov “Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance.”  It can be a life-long problem that affects many people young and old.  There are different types of bullying:  verbal bullying, social bullying, and physical bullying.  These each have their own specific characteristics and ways of dealing with them.  This post is not intended to be any type of medical or legal counsel.  You would have to determine if your particular circumstances would call for you to seek advice within these areas.

     Just remember:  You can change many things about your life, but your “skin” is not one of them.  This is why you need to learn to be happier with who you are in your present situation. The problem is, this is often much easier said than done.  Below are a few ways you can learn to be happier in the body you have and to be the best person you can possibly be.

Develop Positive Affirmations

     Grab a stack of sticky notes and write down all the things you love about yourself.  Then place these sticky notes in places where you will find them later during the day.  These places could be on your mirror, in your wallet, or even around your desk at work, anywhere you think that at some point during the day you will have to look at one or more of these notes.  Then every time you see them, you can be reminded of what an amazing person you are.  Don’t feel hesitant to write EVERYTHING you love about yourself on these notes!

Quit Scrolling Social Media

     Let me tell you a secret that most people, especially younger ones, will not be able to understand:  You WILL survive without social media!  There is a complete living generation today who grew up without social media and they are doing fine.  I can confirm this statement personally, because I AM one of them.  There is something else you have to remember and many don’t want to face this fact.  Social media creates an unrealistic expectation of the human body and an unrealistic standard for a person to live by.  If you feel uncomfortable in your skin because of social media, it's time to stop participating.  Instead, it would be best to find more body-positive media to engage in, such as books, music, and TV shows that make you feel great about who you are.  However, keep in mind that the advertising media also displays an unrealistic view of the human body, especially is this true for young women. 

Work On Your Body Language

     You may not realize this, but you can communicate certain things to others without saying a word.  Believe it or not, your body language can play a huge part in feeling comfortable in your own skin.  Every time you find yourself hunched over with your arms folded, how does this make you feel?  Not very good, right?  Exactly.  It's time to walk with your shoulders pulled back, and your head held high—you'll be surprised by how much this small change affects your mood.  Remember, you have nothing to be ashamed of if you are only being yourself.  Most people who find you “different” will always look for a chance to “make fun of you” or “put you down” in front of others.  It is NOT right and it’s very difficult to deal with at times.  But you know that you can resist the negative thoughts that others try to make you carry.

Ensure You Love The Clothes You Wear

     If you are wearing clothes which don't make you feel comfortable in your own skin, then it's time to get clothes that do!  Aim to find clothes that fit you and are flattering for your body. This will help ensure you feel great about yourself.  It can help if, while you are shopping, you resolve not to look at the sizes and rather try on things that look like they will fit you and decide from there.  I may offend some by this comment, but I think that spandex was one of the worst design creations that has ever been done.  To me, even small, thin girls don’t look good in spandex!  But, that’s just my opinion.

     Being happier in your own skin is a lifelong journey that almost everyone on this earth must take.  But you can make this task easier on yourself by developing positive affirmations, quitting social media (at least until you are able to master your own feelings about rejection or criticism), working on your body language, and buying clothes that make you feel confident.  Just don't forget that being positive about yourself and your body ultimately must come from within.  

     Don’t let others tell you who you are, even those who may have good intentions.  You determine the person you want to be and then be confident about your decisions.  The only person you have to answer to is YOU!  And therein lies the major problem for us all because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Of all the BILLIONS of people in the world ---

there is only ONE YOU!"

Staying Positive

      These are very difficult and trying times in which we live.  Many are very concerned about the COVID-19 pandemic and rightly so.  This and other diseases add to the worries of carrying for your children, their attending school, the home financial situation and many other domestic trials that develop from this present crisis.  When you add to these problems, crime, violence, political unrest, terrorism, and death, it is extremely understandable why many people are having a difficult time staying positive about any type of normalcy in the future!

     Are you having troubles at work?  Or perhaps you're going through a divorce?  Does it feel like your life is falling apart?  Don't despair!  A positive attitude can go a long way toward creating happiness.  The one most important thing you have to always remember is that happiness IS NOT dependent upon exterior forces or circumstances, but is a condition of the heart. 

     Something else you want to remember is that you are not alone.  Everyone has problems at some point or another.  In fact, over 12.5 million work days were lost in the UK alone in 2017 due to stress, anxiety, or depression.  This is a common problem in most parts of the world.  And it isn’t getting any better.  Stress affects people mostly because of money, work, poor health, or family responsibilities.  But stress is something that can be dealt with.  And dealt with successful! 

     Remember, when one door closes, another one opens. The problems you're facing now will soon be just a bad memory.  The old expression “it is darkest before the dawn” has much truth to it.  When things seem their bleakest, that is when we need the greatest hope. That being the case, what can we do?  Wouldn’t you like to know:  what's the key to staying positive when things are looking bleak?  Let's look at just a few things to consider.

Don’t Wait to Be Happy

     How many times have you told yourself that you'll be happy as soon as you switch jobs or get a raise, or move to a new location, or “get out of the house”?  The truth is that these things might not happen anytime soon and when, or if they do, you’ll find out that you still don’t have happiness.  The reason is because of what I said earlier, outside situations or occurrences DON’T bring you happiness.   And if you rely on them to live your best life, you deny your right to happiness NOW!

     Appreciate every moment and focus on the good in your life.  Plan the best you can for the future, but live in the present moment and be grateful for what you have now.  Many times we can’t be happy because of what we WANT and we can’t appreciate what we HAVE!

Stop Playing the Victim

     When times get tough, we tend to blame others for our problems.  Have you stopped and considered that we most often don’t have happiness within our lives because of what OTHERS have done to us or what THEY have prevented us from getting?  At least that’s what we tell ourselves.  It’s always someone else’s fault and never any cause or reason of our own.  However, doing this will only keep you from finding solutions and solving your problems.  It will prevent you from changing your present circumstances to those that you want them to be.

     Take responsibility for the current situation and then find a way to fix it.  Break free from the "poor me" mentality and be proactive in your quest for happiness.  Also, learning the quality of contentment will take you a long way.  Once you are satisfied with what you have you will find greater enjoyment within your life.

Jump into Something New

     Just because you’ve never done something doesn’t mean that you can’t do it!  Opportunities are everywhere.  It’s a matter of going out and looking.  Stuck in a bad job?  Find something else that you really enjoy doing!  Assess your skills and figure out how you could use them to boost your income and help others in the process.  Exert yourself in new areas and you may be very surprised at how much happier your life becomes.  You may also learn that when you help others make their lives happier you are, in turn, blessed by more happiness in your own life.

     Have you just lost a big client?  Start pitching potential customers.  Dedicate at least 30 minutes every day to cold emailing and job hunting.  The more options you have, the better.  You may also find that by opening more doors of opportunity and building new connections and relationships within your life you will discover never before conceived means to add greater joy to your life.

Start a Meditation Habit

     Meditation is one of the best ways to calm your mind and ward off stress.  It's so powerful that it alters the brain's structure and triggers positive changes in the areas associated with memory, creativity, and cognition.  I’m not suggesting that you become some type of “religious” fanatic about meditation, but consider meditating over the events in your life and seeing where or how you can make positive changes for the better.  Make a habit out of meditating every single day.  Do it for at least 10 minutes.  Close your eyes, ponder over the situations within your life, and take deep breaths.  The benefits can be truly amazing.

     Just because your life isn't perfect right now, it doesn’t mean it will be like this forever. Problems come and go.  What has you completely upset today at this moment may be but a faint memory in a few days or weeks from now?  What truly matters is to look on the bright side and hang in there.   I used to tell my wife after we got married that according to our vows it was for “better or worse.”  “Just hang in there, honey, it’s bound to get better sooner or later!”  I don’t know how encouraging that was to her, but it’s now been over 53 years and we are still very much happy together.

     Get out and enjoy yourself for a little bit.  Read a good book, call an old friend, or start a new hobby.  These small things can make a world of difference.  However, never forget that we have within us a troublesome enemy who is always trying to make things more difficult for us and that’s because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"We cannot let others 

set the markers of OUR success."

Risks

 

     Many years ago, what seems like an eternity now, I was stationed overseas in the military at an Air Force base in Turkey.  Periodically they brought “entertainment” to the base as a diversion to our normal daily activities.  One such “entertainment” was a man who, I think, had to perform compulsory service because of his criminal background.  As part of that compensation he would travel to various military bases and talk about his life and how the decisions he had made had caused him to be in and out of prison for the vast majority of his life starting in juvenal court when he was sixteen years old.

     I don’t remember most of the stories he related; however, I DO remember the philosophy he stated had been the motivating force behind the decisions he had reached.  He told us that he had concluded at a very young age that “you can do whatever you want to do as long as you are willing to accept the consequences that may follow your decisions.”  That I have never forgotten.  With every decision we make, there are going to be consequences that we will have to face.  Some of them will be good and some will be bad.  In the final analysis the question is still very relevant today:  Are we willing to accept the consequences?

     Think back on your own life, especially when you were young.  You’ve probably been punished for breaking a rule in the past. It may have been a rule your parents made to keep you safe and you learned a lesson from breaking it.  Hopefully you learned that when you make decisions there are going to be consequences that you will have to face.

     There are risks to every rule you choose to break and you may be the type of person who loves to break them.  Adrenaline rushes inside of you from rule breaking and the very action can become addictive to some people.  Some of you may remember the comedian from the past, Red Skelton (1913 – 1997).  He performed a number of skits on his television program (and radio) for many years.  The introduction of his second character, the Mean Widdle Kid, or “Junior” was one that I will always remember.  This mischief young boy would always do things that he had been told not to do.  He would then reply, “If I dood it, I gets a whipping” followed moments later with the words, “I dood it!”  I think some people just live that philosophy for their entire life.

     However, before you endorse that type of lifestyle consider this: If you don’t agree with certain rules of society and plan to break them – either in business or your personal life, consider the following five risks that may be involved:

1.      The risk of alienating people you need or want in your life. Think carefully about breaking a rule that can alienate you from the very people who could benefit you and whom you love.  For example, if you go against your parents’ wishes, you may cause them anguish.  Weigh the benefits (or maledictions) that may develop because of your decision and then act accordingly.

2.      Lose your job.  Some rule-breaking may result in the loss of a job or position in a company.  Insisting that you can work from home and get more done may alienate other coworkers who trudge to work each morning.  You may also miss out on valuable one-on-one time with your boss or others important to your job.  The man who had to make the visits to the military bases sharing his life history that I mentioned earlier made the statement in his discourse, “If you want to tell your boss what you REALLY think about him, go ahead!  Just be willing to accept the consequences that may follow.”  That’s true.  He may decide to fire you, but if you are willing to accept that, have your say.

3.      Expressing your opinion.  This goes in harmony with the comment I just made about speaking your mind to your boss.   Expressing your feelings and beliefs to others will always have consequences that follow.  Standing up for your values can be a risk that gives you great satisfaction and can boost your self-esteem.  It may also alienate you from a person – or a group of people.  Beware of the consequences of your words and then do the right thing.

4.      Unqualified for the job you’re in.  You may have gotten a position by promising that you’d be a fast learner and meet all expectations required of you.  At some point, you may be overwhelmed by the amount of work or learning process that you didn’t expect. Know what you’re getting in to before leaping into a job you’re not qualified for.  This is a very sticky situation to find yourself.  Having humility is the only thing that will help you here.  You need to know your limitations and you should understand your real importance in the “big picture.”  To be more understanding of this quality of being humble I always think of the illustration that Jesus gave as recorded in Luke 14: 8-11.  ⁸ “When you are invited by someone to a marriage feast, do not recline in the most prominent place. Perhaps someone more distinguished than you may also have been invited. ⁹ Then the one who invited you both will come and say to you, ‘Let this man have your place.’ Then you will proceed with shame to take the lowest place. ¹⁰ But when you are invited, go and recline in the lowest place, so that when the man who invited you comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, go on up higher.’ Then you will have honor in front of all your fellow guests. ¹¹ For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”  It would be better if your boss gave you praises for the work you COULD accomplish instead of belittling you because of not being able to do the work that you had promised you could do.

5.      Not taking yourself seriously.  This rule needs to strike an equal balance. When you take yourself very seriously, you run the risk of others perceiving you as pompous and a “know it all.”  But, if you don’t find the balance between being serious at times that require it and having fun at appropriate times, you may never be seen as the authority figure you want to be.  This can be a very difficult attribute to develop, but NOT an impossible one.  So keep working on finding that point of balance that works for you.

     Breaking rules can have a negative impact on some areas in your life that you may not expect.  Study the pros and cons of a rule before you decide to break it and then act in your best interest.  Remember that most rules are put into place for a reason.  Make sure you understand that reason and the consequences that may result from not following the rule. 

     I recall two friends meeting at a point familiar to them both.  Upon arriving the friends noticed that a “fence” had been placed on the property.  The first friend said “I’m not going to be bound by this ridiculous fence” and immediately jumped over.  The second friend quickly shouted “It’s not a fence!  It’s a barrier that’s placed on the side of the cliff to get you from falling off!”  It’s was too late for the first friend has he plummeted over the cliff edge to the rocky bottom hundreds of feet below.  Some rules are put into place for a similar reason.

     Now it has not been the purpose of this blog article to create “rebel rousers” or those who are going to be “anti” anything!  I have intended to provide you with some “food for thought” in the event you are, have been, or will be, considering to follow the path of breaking the rules?  After you evaluate the conditions of YOUR situation you will be responsible for the decisions you make and the suffering (or benefiting) from the consequences that follow.  Always remember that with any decision you consider you already have a great handicap plaguing you because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Understand the rule 

before you break it.

It may be there for your protection!"

Starting a New Phase

      

     It doesn’t matter where you are within your life, there will be times when you begin a new phase, as it were, and things are going to have to change from what you have been accustomed to doing up to that point. 

     I remember the first HUGE phase adjustment within my life was when I graduated from high school and moved about 700 miles from home to start a new job and live in a new location.  It was a major shock to my system.  First, I realized that the “cloths fairy” had not moved with me!  I mean, when I changed my clothes, they didn’t miraculously reappear several days later back in my closet all fresh and clean!  I also came to realize that when I got home from work at the end of the day, there wasn’t a hot meal waiting for me on the table!  NO, I had to begin to do those things (and others) for myself or they didn’t get done!

     Then, the next phase adjustment I had to make was when I got married.  That was a total change.  You had to stop thinking only about yourself and what you wanted, but give thought to the needs and consideration of another.  As soon as we realize, there are ALWAYS going to phase changes within our lives and learn how to best cope and adjust to them, the better our entire life is going to be.  

     If you’re facing a new phase in your life, you might be feeling a bit nervous.  Will it work out?  Was this the right decision?  Whether it’s a new job or a new relationship, here some tips for making the most of your fresh start.  Just remember, these are not hard and fast rules that you can simply follow step-by-step and all your decisions will become perfect.  You will have to work these suggestions into your life and periodically make changes as needed.  But they give you a starting point in dealing with your phase changes.

1.      Don’t Fear Failure

     Fear of failure is probably the number one fear that most people have to face.  Many people are so scared they’ll mess up, they never try anything new.  And that’s a real shame because unless you take a few risks, you won’t get anywhere, and you’ll never reach your true potential.  Reframe failure as a lesson in what not to do next time.  I’ve used this expression many times in the past; however, it is always fitting: “When a reporter asked, ‘How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?’ concerning Thomas Edison’s attempts at inventing the light bulb.  Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times.  The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”  If you make a mistake or something doesn’t work out, you’re just a step closer to success.  Learn from your mistakes and move on. 

2.      Talk to People

     Did you know that most opportunities come from outside your usual network?  Be open to new possibilities by talking to people you don’t know.  From a casual conversation in the coffee shop to chatting to the person in the next seat at a conference dinner or someone sitting next to you on a plane flight, you never know who you’re about to connect with and where that connection might lead.  “It was on July 6, 1957, the day Paul McCartney and John Lennon had their first encounter during a church [festival] at St. Peter’s Church in Liverpool.  It was a humble little meeting that turned out to be one of the most historic in rock history.” https://www.billboard.com/articles/news/7857194/paul-mccartney-john-lennon-60-anniversary#:~:text=July%206%2C%201957%20was%20the,most%20historic%20in%20rock%20history.   When John Lennon and Paul McCartney started writing and recording songs together as part of the Beatles, they had no idea how far their partnership would take them.  While the band, as a whole, lives on as one of the most influential in history, the dynamic creative partnership that Lennon and McCartney embodied was the driving force behind the sound that changed popular music forever.  There was a wonderful interview program on Hulu recently with Rick Rubin and Paul McCartney (McCartney 3, 2, 1).  If you haven’t seen it yet, it would be well worth your time.  Be approachable, be polite, and make new friends.

3.      Know What You Stand For

     Whether you’re aware of it or not, you have your own set of personal values.  Make those values conscious and write your own personal mission statement.  What are your core beliefs?  What is your purpose in life?  Find a solid source of council and standards to base your personal values on.  Don’t let others define who you are.  Once you know what you stand for, you can align your actions and focus on your path to success.  Think of it as your own personal roadmap.  Make sure your “compass” is pointing you always in the right direction and, come what may, stay the course!

4.      Be Aware of Your Personal Biases

     Successful people don’t let their personal opinions get in the way of achieving their goals. Your opinions are not the same as your values.  It is often said that opinions are like noses, most people have one!  But YOUR opinions will not always be right.  Values, on the other hand, are the bedrock of what’s important in your life.  You can have an opinion about sports or politics or how you prefer your steak, but don’t confuse views with what’s best for you.  If a nontraditional opportunity comes up, think it through and work out if it’s in your best interest.

5.      Celebrate Your Successes 

      It’s essential to celebrate the milestones as you check them off on the way to achieving your goals.  Celebrating small successes keeps your motivation and your energy level high.  It also makes those big life goals seem a bit less daunting.  Just imagine back to your FIRST day of school in the FIRST grade!  You sat at your tiny little desk and probably had no idea of all the things ahead of you to learn and absorb.  What if the teacher plopped on your desk EVERY book and lesson assignment that you would have to handle for the next TWELVE years of your schooling?  This would no doubt make you feel that school was going to be a daunting and harrowing experience and that you would NEVER be able to get all these things done!  Now you can better understand why these things were presented to you in steps (over 12 years) and you could better enjoy your learning years. 

     We have to face all our goals in a similar fashion.  Break down your goals into more achievable steps and celebrate your successes at each of these phases.   High-five yourself for everything you check off your to-do list, and you’ll soon find yourself celebrating the big wins.

     There WILL be set-backs and their will be disappointments, but that is the nature of life.  We all must face these (and many other) changes or phases within our life.  It is HOW we deal with them that will determine if we are successful or not.  Just never forget that while we are having to deal with these phases, we may not always handle them in the best way because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Never let others

convince you, you can't!"

Weird Time

 

     I’ve been writing lately about personal improvement and betterment of the individual.  But for this post I’ve had the feeling that it’s about time I went WEIRD again and just get some thoughts out of my brain.  So here we go!

     I’m sitting at my desk thinking about the power and awesomeness that is contained within the human brain.  The marvelous things we are able to do and yet how very little is truly understood about how the brain works.

     All the abilities of our senses that we possess are really contained within the neuron connections of our brain.  What we see, hear, feel, taste, are all really a function of how our brain interprets the responses it receives from the environment around us and our actions within that environment. 

     Just imagine for a moment that you are standing outside your house and a vehicle goes traveling down your street.  You hear the sound of the engine.  But HOW do you know it is the sound of a car engine?  Is it not because your brain has been trained or conditioned to respond to the sound that you are hearing as that of being the sound of a vehicle engine?

     You look up from your activities and notice that the car traveling past you is red.  But how do you know that it is RED?  Has not your brain been trained or conditioned to recognize what your eyes are seeing and the stimuli that they are sending to your brain as the color RED? 

     When we stop and think about it for a moment, we live our entire lives based on the responses that we receive from our brain and the perceived response that we should have based on those inputs.  Does that not indicate that if the brain were trained or conditioned to recognize the impulse responses that it receives differently, we would live our lives in a manner that would no long relate to how it is now?

     I know I’m sending thoughts to your brain now that perhaps you have never considered before.  However, I hope you are able to follow how I am reasoning on this matter.

     We dig stones and gems from the earth and then we are TOLD that THESE are worthless and THOSE are valuable!  WHY?  We are told that certain items are more valuable than others and we believe it because we are trained in that manner.  As an example, and this one has always confused me, consider aspirin!  Aspirin is a medication used to reduce pain, fever, or inflammation.  It is also known as acetylsalicylic acid (ASA).  The molecular formula for aspirin is C9H8O4 or CH3COOC6H4COOH or HC9H7O4.  (I know that was a mouth full.)  Why does aspirin cost about $1 (US dollar) to upwards of $10 (US dollars) per bottle for the same thing?    Because we have been trained or conditioned to think that a certain BRAND name has made the product somehow better than all the others.  Friends, wake up!  Aspirin is aspirin, period!

     Another example that I think of often is water!  When I was growing up if someone had told me that one day, we would be paying for water in a bottle I would have thought them to be crazy!  But today what are we doing?  Paying unbelievable prices for bottled water. 

     Look at your grocery shelves.  You have to decide if you want Hawaiian water, purified water, artesian still water, pure spring water, carbonated (or not) mineral water, glacial water, alkaline water, distilled water, or perhaps there are many other choices you would have to make.  I’m by no means trying to be technically correct here, but, depending on the type and brand of water you purchase you could be paying $3 (US dollars) or higher per gallon for this purchase.  Again I am not trying to point a finger at any specific company or brand, but some investigations have shown that these expensive bottled waters are basically the same water you can get out of your kitchen faucet at home.  And on the average a municipal water system charges its customers about $3.38 per 1,000 gallons of water.  If you were drinking about 100 ounces per day, that would cost you about $1 (US dollars) PER YEAR!!!!!  If you were buying the least expensive bottled water that annual cost would be over $800 (US dollars) per year.  I think I can see an area where some money could be saved very easily, what about you?

     And before you give me that “I can’t drink the water from the faucet” excuse, let me share this story with you.  Remember our minds have been trained to want the BRAND.  We want the BEST!  My wife and I often will purchase a bottled water for our use when traveling.  We then keep the bottle and refill it from the faucet, putting it in the fridge to get cold for drinking later.  There are times when we might have several of these bottles in the fridge at the same time.  On one occasion we had some friends over to eat and when preparing to sit down for the meal one of our guests said that they couldn’t drink the water from the faucet even if it had been put in the fridge to get cold.  They only wanted bottled water.  I told them I had some in the fridge and I would be happy to get them one.  So I went to the fridge, got out one of the bottles we had filled from the faucet, “opened” it for our guest and gave it to them.  They enjoyed the water with their meal and never voiced a single complaint.  Seeing the water in the BRAND-name bottle satisfied the training (conditioning) that they had in their mind and everything was fine.  I do know that some people do have sensitivities or reactions to some chemicals that may be put in municipal water so I don’t recommend this ploy for all.  It just happened to work in my situation.

     Sadly this mental training or conditioning has worked for centuries in regards to the human race.  People have been mentally trained or conditioned to believe that some people, because of their color, background, nationality, or many other reasons, are superior to others that are different than they are.  People have believed these things for so long that many think they have a RIGHT to demand certain things because of their envisioned superiority.  But the truth is that we all belong to the same race --- the human race!  And we all live in the same area --- the planet earth!  The problem with unlearning that mental training or conditioning is that we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"The truly bizarre moment is

when you realize that 

I am the normal one!"

Organize Your Life

 

     People do it everyday in their lives and don’t realize what they are doing.  Sometimes it seems that when we “label” an activity by a specific name it becomes something that now it is generally a bit more difficult to obtain.  However, we shouldn’t let a “label” guide our thinking and our actions upon a certain matter.  WHAT am I talking about?  It is about being “organized.”

     If you’re struggling to be productive, it could be a lack of organization that is at the root cause of the problem.  For some people organization comes naturally, but for most people it requires some energy to learn organization skills and even more energy and time to put those skills into practical application.  However, once we put that “label” of being organized on the subject it now becomes a “task” that must be accomplished.  And with most tasks in our lives we procrastinate until the last possible minute and then things appear to become impossible to get accomplished.  The question really becomes “Are we going to take the time to indoctrinate the principles of organizing our lives and other activities within ourselves so we become more productive within the amount of time we have available to us or not?  And even if you’re not inherently an organized person, there are many things you can do to improve your organization skills, one step at a time.  Here I have listed a few for your consideration.

     Clean Your Work Area.  Be it at work or at home, if your work area looks like it was the victim of a recent natural disaster, your productivity will suffer.  The first step toward better organization is cleaning your work area.

     This means getting rid of trash, organizing papers into file folders or binders, designating storage spaces for office supplies, and throwing away materials that are duplicates or that you no longer need.  I can guarantee you, if you have a paper, article, letter, or some other item that has been laying on your desk or work area for several weeks, and you have not looked at it, you can probably throw that item into the trash and forget it!  DON’T get into that mentality that “I may need it one day” and hang on to it --- just in case!  Throw it away!  You’ll find it much easier to locate the things you want and do it when you want if your work area is more organized.

      Organize Your Computer and Email.  If your computer desktop has fifty icons on it and your email list has hundreds of emails, it’s time to clean those areas.  Make sure that all important documents are stored in logical folders and remove any unused icons from your desktop.  Those icons on your desktop are merely shortcuts to the documents that you have on your computer.  You can review your documents as to the last date you opened them (or did any work on them).  If it has been six months, a year, or longer that you have even opened the document, the chances are you can remove the icon (shortcut) from your desktop.  It might even be possible to delete the entire document, but you have to make that decision.

     The same can be said for your email folder.  Spend a day organizing emails so that unimportant emails are deleted and important emails are organized into folders so you can refer to them when you need them.  If you have unread mail, read it.  Remember that any emails that may have been necessary to keep for awhile may now be ‘out-of-date” and no longer relevant to your current situation.  Periodically review your email folders and see if anything can be deleted.

     Use a Planner.  Productive people plan each day with purpose.  Using a daily planner – either on paper or electronically – can help you to stay on track and become more productive.  Those old “to-do” lists were not as crazy as you might have thought them to be!  It’s best to plan the next day’s work at the end of your work day so that you can begin fresh the next day and know what needs to be done first.  Just keep in mind that your planner is a “guide” of the days’ activities and not a concrete, regimented schedule to follow.  When I was secularly employed full-time my schedule used to be to account for about six hours of my eight-hour day.  Inevitably something would come up that required attention that had not been planned for in my schedule and I would have time to handle it.  I always thought that if I were able to get my scheduled six-hour workload accomplished during the day I had been successful!  You may consider something like this also.  Don’t try to account for every single minute in the day.  If you do, you will no doubt come up short and you will feel like you have failed!

     Focus Your Efforts.  Instead of worrying about trying to do everything at once, learn to focus instead of multi-tasking.  Set a designated time or times each day to read emails, respond to voicemails, and work on social media accounts.  The rest of your day should be spent on the more important tasks.  And don’t get the subjects confused as to what are the more important things that need your attention.  This applies to your home schedule as well.  I can only speak to you husbands for a moment, but being one myself for over fifty years, I’ve learned when your wife is trying to tell you something --- THAT’s one of the more important things that will need your undivided attention!

     Don’t Procrastinate.  Sometimes it’s tempting to put off tasks that are less desirable.  But all this does is get you behind schedule and you’re only putting off the inevitable.  When you need to do something, just use self-discipline to complete the task and then move on.  You’ll save time and energy in the long run.  I’ve actually learned that those tasks that you find the least desirous of doing --- do the first thing in your day, when you’re fresh and ambitious.  Then they are done and you can move on to those things that you find more enjoyable doing.

     Stick to a Routine.  It’s easier to be productive when you stick to a consistent schedule instead of doing things differently each day.  This may sound boring, but over time you’ll find you actually like the regularity of a routine and you’ll get more done in less time.  Now, this doesn’t mean that your entire day is ‘set in stone” as the saying goes, but having a measure of normal expectancy within your daily work routine will provide you a means to better divide your time into those activities that will require more of your attention.

     These have been some suggestions for you to consider in getting (and keeping) your work or home routine into a more organized condition.  You’ll need to find what works best for you and continually develop those habits into your life routine.  However, with any activities of improvement comes those times when you will fall short in your expectations.  Don’t let these momentary set-backs stop you in developing well-organized skills that will be of great benefits to you in your future.  Also don’t forget that the reason this will happen on occasion is the fact that we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Just plan your work

and work your plan."

Get Out of Your Rut

      There are times when we feel we can continue to do the same things in our life the same way every day and yet at some point we will produce a different result!  That’s just NOT going to happen.  It’s like watching the movie Titanic (the 1997 romance and disaster film by James Cameron) over and over again thinking that sooner or later the captain is going to figure out how to miss that iceberg and there will be a happier ending to the story!

     You know the type of person, or maybe you ARE that type of person who others “can set their clocks by” as the expression goes.  Your routine has become so well known to others that at times it seems they set THEIR life clock in tune with YOU!   If you feel like your life has become predictable, unfulfilling, and boring, maybe it’s time for a fresh start. Just remember deciding to make a change doesn’t mean you have to turn your life upside down, but it is an opportunity to stand back and revise your current way of life.  To get a new perspective on YOU and see if there are areas where positive changes can be made to improve your life and make YOU the best YOU there can be.  Whether it’s a lifestyle, location, or career change, there are some simple things you can do right now to get out of that rut and get some positive energy back into your life.

1.      Work out What Makes You Happy

     Have you ever sat down and ruminated about what makes you happy?  What lifts your spirits and puts a spring in your step?  What makes your heart sing and your energy levels skyrocket? Some people feel happiest out in nature, while others prefer sports or reading.  Maybe you love the arts or helping people.  Make a list of what makes you happy and take action so you can focus on bringing more joy into your life.  Here is a point I would like to stress:  I’m NOT saying that the world revolves around YOU and that only things that make YOU happy should be the things that your thoughts become completely focused on.  But you can give consideration to these things.  You may learn that doing things for others, making THEM happy, is the thing that makes YOU happy!

2.      Practice Saying Yes

     Most people are so busy with their everyday life that they don’t make time to get out of their comfort zone and do something different.  When was the last time you tried something new or challenging?  Be open to new experiences, start saying yes to yourself, and choose to do things that make you feel good.  Now let’s hold on to the reins for a moment.  In extending yourself outside your comfort zone you must be balanced and realistic!  You have to give consideration to your physical and financial limitations.  By no means am I saying that someone with certain physical limitations shouldn’t try to extend themselves.  I’m just saying be balanced!  Some have done unbelievable things with physical restrictions.  If you don’t think that is true just read some of the information the paraplegic Olympics at https://www.mobility-advisor.com/paraplegic-wheelchair-paralympic.html

3.      Make a “Stop Doing” List

     You’ve probably heard that making a “to-do” list may better organize our life’s activities.  But there is another list we may want to prepare for ourselves.  Once you start saying yes to the things that make you feel good, you need to practice saying no.  You need “a stop doing list”!  You’re probably well aware of the bad habits you’ve fallen into and the things you do that don’t bring you joy.  While there are some things you have no control over, see what energy-draining tasks you can eliminate from your life.  Write a list to remind yourself of the things you can choose not to do, and free up time for the things that make your heart soar.

4.      Declutter

     We have all been guilty of it at one time or another and perhaps, right now, you will find that you are guilty.   Most people have way too much stuff in their lives.  Look around you right now and see what’s holding you back.  Clutter includes spending hours scrolling through social media, limiting beliefs, and bad lifestyle habits as well as all that junk in the kitchen drawer and the garage.  One of my friends had so many “toys” in his garage that he had no room for his vehicle!  Only YOU can make such decisions concerning yourself, but by doing so you will find that your life can become a much happier experience.

5.      Say No to Fear

     There will be obstacles to your making changes that will get you out of the current rut that you find yourself in.  Perhaps the single most empowering thing you can do to get out of a rut is to walk away from fear.  Fear will stop you from taking risks, big or small.  It makes you too afraid to try anything new and holds you back from reaching your potential.  Fear can be our ally, but it also can be an enemy.  Learn to control the fears in your life and don’t let the fears control you.

     Make a commitment to yourself to take back control of your life and leap into a fresh start.  Just never forget there is a resistance that resides within us always trying to force us back into the rut from which we are trying to emerge.  We must control that force and not let it control us.  However, the biggest problem is we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"You have choices in your life ---

make good ones!"