Friday, May 21, 2021

Self-Talk

      I remember as a young boy walking around the streets of my small home town and seeing our neighbors.  One in particularly would be kind of shuffling along and mumbling to himself.  I thought, at the time, that he must be a little crazy or at least a bit odd!  Now I am more conscience that I am doing the same thing.  In reality, this is to be expected from most people!    

     Did you know that you, like most people, talk to yourself all day long?  No, not the mental chatter about activities and chores that you need to remember throughout the day.  That’s a form of self-talk too, but I’m referring more to the things you say to yourself on a regular basis; and more importantly, the tone in which you say them.

     When you make a mistake, do you berate yourself angrily?  Do you put yourself down or call yourself derogatory names?  When you have a hard time making positive changes in your life, do you bemoan what a “worthless” person you are and conclude that you’ll never do anything right?  Most people do these things and never really realize that they are doing them.

     Negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem, especially if it’s a big part of your daily life.  When you keep saying things like that to yourself, eventually you begin to believe them!

     Most often these messages begin as statements uttered by the adults in your life when you were a child.  They may have said something negative about you when your actions displeased them, or perhaps they had a habit of saying unkind things even when you didn’t deserve it.  Most parents don’t realize that if you continue to repeat such derogatory statements to your children, they will probably live down to your expectations of never amounting to anything!  As painful as these experiences can be, it is even worse when you pick up where they left off and keep repeating the same negative messages to yourself over and over!

     The good news is that you can change your self-talk any time you want.  You just have to know how to become aware of the tone of your messages and consciously replace them with more encouraging ones.  Try these simple steps for starters:

1)         Develop awareness of your self-talk.  It may take practice, but if you keep “listening” in to your inner voice, you’ll begin to notice when you talk negatively to yourself.  You will become more aware of not only WHAT you are saying to yourself, but also HOW it is being said.

2)         Challenge the negative messages.  When you notice yourself saying something negative such as, “You’re such a screw-up, you can’t do anything right” – stop yourself and challenge that belief.  Is that really true?  Maybe you mess up sometimes, but do you ALWAYS mess up?  Probably not.

3)         Replace the negative messages with positive messages.  When you realize you’re saying unkind and untrue things to yourself, simply turn it around in your mind.  Using the above example, you might say, “Wow, that’s not true at all!  I do plenty of things right.  It’s true I make mistakes, but so does everyone.  I’m a good person and I try my best.  That’s good enough for me.”  Positive self-talk is an inner monologue that makes you feel good about yourself and everything going on in your life. It’s an optimistic voice in your head that encourages you to look at the bright side, pick yourself up when you fall and recognize when you fail.  Read more to help yourself in this area at https://7summitpathways.com/blog/what-is-positive-self-talk/#:~:text=Positive%20self%2Dtalk%20is%20an,and%20recognize%20when%20you%20fail.

     Over time, your efforts will pay off in the form of stronger self-esteem and respect for yourself and your capabilities.  It probably won’t happen overnight, but the more you work at turning your self-talk in a more positive direction, the better you’ll feel about yourself.  However, exercise patience with yourself because you are going to be your own worst enemy.  This is due to the fact that we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER


THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Always speak truth to yourself,

then make sure you listen."





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