Commitment

 

     Coming up next month (April) on the 20^th of the month, my wife and I will be celebrating our 53^rd wedding anniversary.  I know some of you at this point are commenting to yourself or out loud, WOW! That’s a long time for two people to be married!  And there may be some of you who are puzzled thinking HOW could two people stay together that long?

     Just consider some of the statistics for the United States as compiled by Wilkinson & Finkbeiner (Family Law Attorneys) https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/#:~:text=The%20marriage%20rate%20in%20the,of%20data%20from%20the%20CDC.

     “Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation.”

     “Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.”

     “60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.”

     “73 percent of all third marriages end in divorce.”

     “The United States has the 6^th highest divorce rate in the world.”

     And there are many others statistics they show that you may find very interesting.

     One of the major reasons for such statistics is that many people are afraid of commitment. This is the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.  Some similar words that might be used are: dedication, devotion, allegiance, loyalty, faithfulness, and fidelity.  We can see how the lack of these activities would damage a marriage arrangement to the point of divorce.

     An article a few years ago (https://www.insider.com/why-wont-they-commit-2019-1 ) states “ reasons why someone might be afraid of commitment.”  You may find them very interesting:

1.        They may be wondering if there is a better partner out there.

2.        The fear of failure may hold some people back.

3.        Some people don’t want to give up the single life.

4.        Peer pressure from friends can cause people to avoid commitment.

5.        Bad relationships can keep a person from committing again.

6.        The fear of abandonment is enough to keep a person from committing to begin with.

7.        People who have been through a nasty divorce may be hesitant to commit.

8.        Some people are afraid of losing their personal independence.

9.        Poor relationships with a partner’s family and friends can cause them to regress.

     Now, I may be one to look over this list and think that some of these “reasons” may seem a bit thin, as if a person were only “creating” a reason to leave their partner.  But those who have studied the subject seem to think these are real obstacles for some to overcome.

     Some fail to recognize that another part of the definition of the word commitment is “an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.”  That means when you commitment to a person you are, in effect, stating that you are willing to give up some of your “freedom of action” for their sake!

     People have often said that marriage should be a 50/50 arrangement.  However, if you are giving 100% of your time, efforts, and energies to make the marriage a success you are NOT doing your part!

     Some of these points that I have made in this blog article are the very reason that when people here about my own marriage and the number of years we have been together and similar stories from others, they find it hard to believe.  Many don’t want to make the necessary commitment today to have such a success in the future.  And that’s primarily because we’re only human!

     

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"The decision to commit and to stick to it

is a powerful force."