Selfish

      Most of the time when you are growing up the structure of the world’s attitude is a “What’s in it for me?” type of a scenario.  You are taught to look at various situations and try to determine how the outcome is going to effect YOU!  Are you going to be better for what is done, or will you be better if something IS NOT done?  You are always trying to analyze the outcome of situations.  And some of those situations can become very complicated.   

     Then as you get older you realize that the point of your analysis was not truly to find out if you would be better or not, but to simply see that the outcome you would be looking for would be of benefit to YOU.  And sometimes those outcomes MIGHT be beneficial, but at what cost to others?  We were more often not trained (or taught) to consider those possibilities before we made our final decisions.  It was all about US!  That selfish ME, ME, ME attitude!

     Simple put, we were taught (or trained) to look after ourselves FIRST!  That lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure is exactly what being selfish means.  Stop and think for a moment.  Even today, we do so many things for selfish reasons.  And often it doesn’t simply apply to our individual self.  We do this same type of evaluation for our families, our communities, our cities or towns, our states, even our countries.  The entire efforts we put into most matters is simply because we want to get something for ourselves, and we often do not consider the needs of others or how our actions are going to affect them!

     This self-consideration starts when we are small babies.  Consider a baby: it will cry when hungry, cry when a diaper needs changing, and it will cry whenever it wants the attention of its mother.  It’s all about the baby!  We understand that.  A baby is basically helpless.  Until they reach a certain age in life, they cannot do things for themselves.  They only know that THEY want something and that crying is the only way they are going to get it!  The sad thing for some babies is that as they grow up, they still consider that all things are about them!  And they want what they want, when they want it, and it doesn’t matter about the time, energy, or concerns of anyone else!

     This reminds me of a story that I heard about a young boy who had attended a party at the home of one of his friends.  When it came time for him to leave, the story goes like this:

     His friend’s mother approached him and said:  “Johnny, why don’t you have one more cookie before you leave?”  Little Johnny replied:  “I can’t Mrs. Jones, I’m already full.”  Mrs. Jones then told him, “Why don’t you put one in your pocket to take home and enjoy it later.”  Little Johnny then said: “I can’t do that either.  My pockets are also full!”

     It’s a simple story, but I think it makes the point!  For most of our lives we are only thinking about ourselves.  This mental attitude makes it hard for us to have successful lives, successful families, and so on.  When we only think about ourselves and what WE are going to get, it tends to isolate us from others because they don’t want to be around such a selfish person!  They don’t want to be around US!

    Could it be that we would be much happier if we followed the simple lesson, we probably learned in one of our Sunday School lessons: “There is more happiness in giving than in receiving!”  Wouldn’t it make our lives and the lives of those around us better to have that type of attitude instead of a selfish one?

     If you are a Star Trek fan (like I am and have been for many years), you will remember that in one particular scene from “The Wrath of Khan” (released in 1982), Spock says, “Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”  Captain Kirk answers, “Or the one.”  This line sets up various additional scenes in this movie as well as several to follow.  You might find interesting the discussion of this statement by Ari Armstrong concerning Spock’s ILLOGIC! (https://theobjectivestandard.com/2013/09/spocks-illogic-the-needs-of-the-many-outweigh-the-needs-of-the-few/ )

     The basis of this post is to get us thinking that when things come down to the basic truth, we are a selfish bunch of piles of flesh!  The bottom line is: we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"If you don't think of others,

how will others think of you?"

Commitment

 

     Coming up next month (April) on the 20^th of the month, my wife and I will be celebrating our 53^rd wedding anniversary.  I know some of you at this point are commenting to yourself or out loud, WOW! That’s a long time for two people to be married!  And there may be some of you who are puzzled thinking HOW could two people stay together that long?

     Just consider some of the statistics for the United States as compiled by Wilkinson & Finkbeiner (Family Law Attorneys) https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/#:~:text=The%20marriage%20rate%20in%20the,of%20data%20from%20the%20CDC.

     “Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation.”

     “Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.”

     “60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.”

     “73 percent of all third marriages end in divorce.”

     “The United States has the 6^th highest divorce rate in the world.”

     And there are many others statistics they show that you may find very interesting.

     One of the major reasons for such statistics is that many people are afraid of commitment. This is the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.  Some similar words that might be used are: dedication, devotion, allegiance, loyalty, faithfulness, and fidelity.  We can see how the lack of these activities would damage a marriage arrangement to the point of divorce.

     An article a few years ago (https://www.insider.com/why-wont-they-commit-2019-1 ) states “ reasons why someone might be afraid of commitment.”  You may find them very interesting:

1.        They may be wondering if there is a better partner out there.

2.        The fear of failure may hold some people back.

3.        Some people don’t want to give up the single life.

4.        Peer pressure from friends can cause people to avoid commitment.

5.        Bad relationships can keep a person from committing again.

6.        The fear of abandonment is enough to keep a person from committing to begin with.

7.        People who have been through a nasty divorce may be hesitant to commit.

8.        Some people are afraid of losing their personal independence.

9.        Poor relationships with a partner’s family and friends can cause them to regress.

     Now, I may be one to look over this list and think that some of these “reasons” may seem a bit thin, as if a person were only “creating” a reason to leave their partner.  But those who have studied the subject seem to think these are real obstacles for some to overcome.

     Some fail to recognize that another part of the definition of the word commitment is “an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.”  That means when you commitment to a person you are, in effect, stating that you are willing to give up some of your “freedom of action” for their sake!

     People have often said that marriage should be a 50/50 arrangement.  However, if you are giving 100% of your time, efforts, and energies to make the marriage a success you are NOT doing your part!

     Some of these points that I have made in this blog article are the very reason that when people here about my own marriage and the number of years we have been together and similar stories from others, they find it hard to believe.  Many don’t want to make the necessary commitment today to have such a success in the future.  And that’s primarily because we’re only human!

     

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"The decision to commit and to stick to it

is a powerful force."

Humor

 

    I was talking to my brother yesterday and the subject of humor came up.  Sometimes it seems what might be funny to one person is not very humorous to another.  Or it might be that things that we have done in the past, which we thought were very embarrassing then, have now become very humorous when we relate them to others. 

     Some thoughts that are found at the website https://www.sciencefriday.com/articles/why-do-we-find-things-funny/ might be of interest to you.  In part, the write states:

     “I’m too young to have ever seen Lenny Bruce perform live, but I love his work and it has often made me wonder: Why do we find things funny? It’s a philosophical as well as scientific question: Why do some comments, including jokes, quips, or extended stories, provoke joy and laughter, while others do not? Or, to be more concrete, why do we have the same reaction to a quip made by Lenny Bruce as to one made by Henny Youngman? Youngman was the comic who spoke the immortal line “Take my wife . . . please,” the kind of one-liner that’s now rare but in its day caused audiences to howl. Humor may have adapted to modern tastes, like other forms of entertainment, but this doesn’t explain why something funny to one person isn’t to another, or why something that’s hilarious in one decade is trite and stale in another.” 

     The article goes to discuss “The Serious Science of Humor.”  It seems that there have been many studies on the subject of laughter and what seems to make people laugh.  The answer to some of the questions raised by laughter cannot be truly understood.

     Humor is very likely to mean different things to different people depending upon the subject, the time period, and even the gender of the person.  I remember the Three Stooges and the comedy they performed decades ago.  Most people will say that MEN understand the humor that was portrayed by their antics, but that most WOMEN don’t.  All I know is, for me they were funny!

     Then again, the humor may be likely to be seen in certain situations when the antics involve someone else and not yourself.  When another person gets the proverbial “pie in the face” (you may have to research this simple humor) it is funny!  But, when it is YOU who would get the “pie in the face,” it is embarrassing!  I think you can see the difference.

     Of course, the humor changes with the changing of time.  This could be the literal passage of time of merely the passing of your own years.  What you once thought to be humorous has now become something mundane or ordinary.  Perhaps this suggests there is a physiological aspect to what we find to be humorous.

     Regardless of what you find to be humorous, it seems that this ability to laugh, to enjoy a “lighter” side to various situations, is very unique to the human creature.  Although it is enjoyable to have a good laugh with family and friends, many have shown that there are health benefits related to laughter.  A very interesting article can be found at https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm 

    “With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and supporting both physical and emotional health. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.”

     At times however, it appears that some people take themselves too seriously.  They have not allowed themselves to enjoy the humorous antics of their own lives and the things that they do.  Humans are simply amazing creatures, but therein lies our greatest difficulty to deal with ourselves: The fact that we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Our Creator is a God of humor.

If you don't think so, look in a mirror!"

Time Change

 

    It is just me or does it seem that every year (or perhaps every half year) people go through the same debate: should we continue the one-hour adjustment of time twice a year or not?

     This has been going on for almost as long as Daylight Savings Time has been in existence or has it?  Benjamin Franklin actually proposed a form of daylight time in 1784 observing that people could save on candles by getting out of bed earlier in the morning, making use of the natural morning light.

     However, it wasn’t until 1918 that the United States confirmed the existing standard time zone system and set summer daylight savings time on March 31, 1918.  The idea was unpopular, especially with farmers, and not much has much changed over that debate since that time.  Most people continue to argue for or against the change even to this day.  Many have proposed a compromise in that, at some specified point, the time should change ONE HALF hour in one direction or the other and then leave it there permanently.  And there are many other suggested ideas that people have considered.

     For many the problem stems from the fact that people want to make comparisons within their minds.  Let’s say you take a flight from a state in the center of American, such as Lincoln, Nebraska to Honolulu, Hawaii.  Now there is a major time change.  Most people understand and refer to their adjustment problem as “jet lag.”  However, the problem often is that a person will almost refuse to live in the time zone they are in!  What do I mean?  The person gets to Hawaii and starts his or her activities and will constantly tell themselves (and perhaps others) “Well, you know in Lincoln the time is ___!”  And so they never really let themselves mentally adjust to the current time where they are.

     Part of this problems is also due to the fact that they like to phone relatives and friends back home and remind them that they are enjoying the beach and having such a good time, but to do this, they must remember to adjust the time of their call to the time it is back home!  Just another constant reminder to themselves that they have changed zones as far as time is concerned.

     Wouldn’t it just be much simpler if you could just get up in the morning when your body told you it was time to get out of bed and then go to sleep when your body told you “I need rest?”  We all understand that in today’s busy society being able to do such a thing would be limited to a very few.  Having to deal with so many external situations doesn’t always bring an easier life-style into our lives.  Just one more thing we have to complain about.  Then again, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"If but a moment in time could change the future,

when would you choose it to be?"

Mornings

 

    I’m one of those persons who has always been an early riser.  Well, that’s not exactly the truth.  When I was younger, I wanted to keep my lazy body in bed as long as I could.  There was a period of time in my life as a teenager when we lived across the street from the High School that I attended.  At that time, we had a bell alarm that would sound across the school campus at 8:00 am.  This meant it was time for you to make sure you were headed for class.  At 8:10 am a second bell would alarm signaling that you were now tardy!

     I trained myself to use the 8:00 bell as my alarm clock.  I could hit the floor from my bed and be out the door so that I was sitting in my homeroom class before the 8:10 alarm would sound.  When I think about it now, that was a pretty lazy excuse for sleeping in.  But it worked for me at the time.     After I graduated from High School and went into the “real world,” I had to find a different means to get myself up in the mornings and prepared for work.  There was a major contributing factor, however.  If I didn’t get up in time, I’d miss the bus I had to take into Washington DC and would thereby be late for work.  If I was late, I would have to take a minimum of two hours (and possibly four hours) vacation time off and then wait around until it was time for me to begin work.  That was a real drain to my loss of my vacation time and that meant I was suffering financially.  It was a great motivator to make sure I didn’t miss that bus in the mornings!

     Of course, there were other events in my life that made me more cognizant of time in the mornings.  The biggest I would say would be when I was in the military for four years.  Then it was “get up, get up, get up!”  There were things that had to done for the group and you had better not be the one that was messing things up for everyone else.  There was simply too many who were depending upon you to make sure your part of the operation was completed on time.

     As I have gotten older, I have found that I now enjoy the mornings very much.  I am usually up around 6:00 am every morning.  The mornings are quiet and peaceful.  The crispness in the air is truly amazing.  It is almost like watching a new beginning as the sun finally makes an appearance over the horizon and a gentle warmth is showered across the countryside.  The birds begin to sing their melodious songs and it seems like life just begins to trickle forth in all its radiance. 

     A few years ago during the month of September, my son and his family along with my granddaughter and her husband took my wife and I on a marvelous vacation trip for our anniversary to Branson, Missouri.  They had rented a condo that set above and overlooked Table Rock Lake.  I enjoyed getting up early in the mornings and having my breakfast on the patio that overlooked the lake.  In the cool mornings the lake was blanketed with a layer of fog that simply mystified my eyes.  Then the sun would begin to peer through the overcast sky and the fog would begin to burn away.  It was, to me, a wonderful sight to see.

     I have since enjoyed many mornings and the new beginnings that each of them have brought.  I marvel at the wonders of creation as I think about what is humankind going to do on this new day that will hamper or perhaps even destroy the beauty that I have come to enjoy?

     Yes, rising early to enjoy each new beginning with a fresh and wonderful sunrise has brought much joy into my life.  I often think back to those days when I was younger and regret the many mornings that I missed the enjoyment that I now have.  I wonder today how many other people there are who are missing out on these wonderful moments of the early morn?  We only have so many of these mornings to enjoy within our lifetime.  We can’t go back and collect any that we failed to take advantage of.  Those moments are forever gone.  But, then again, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"The excitement of the morning

doesn't happen any other time of the day."

500 Thousand

      If you are like many families back in the day when things were more “normal,” you looked forward every year to all of you going to your favorite place for the family vacation.  You will no doubt have your “spot” that you liked to visit, be it at the ocean or the mountains, or somewhere in between.  The point is that you really looked forward to that time away from your everyday life and having a chance to “catch up” on the things that had changed since your last visit.

     Now I’m not about to try and guess what your favorite location might be but I’m only going to mention a few places that you might have considered (although maybe not!)  But this is my blog post and I’m thinking that kinda gives me the right to decide what places I want to talk about.  So, some of those places may have been Toledo, OH, McAllen, TX, New Haven, CT, Mission Viejo, CA, Grand Rapids, MI, or perhaps Raleigh, NC.  I’m sure you have heard of at least some of those places or it wouldn’t be difficult for you to do a little research and find out something about them.  In different ways any of them would be an interesting place to visit.

     Or maybe your tastes of having a vacation are leaning toward some “out-of-way” place in a foreign location of the world?  You might be interested in somewhere like Gold Coast-Tweed, Australia, Reynosa, Mexico, Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Beijing, China, or Imbaba, Egypt.  Most of these places you have probably not heard about unless you are already a world traveler with remote interests.

     Of all the places in the United States or for that matter, in the world, why did I specifically decide to use the ones I mentioned above.  It was for a very good reason.  All of these particular places have a population of around 500,000 people!

     Now imagine that one of the places I mentioned above IS the very spot that you and your family have enjoyed visiting for vacations.  Imagine that every year you looked forward to returning to that location to see some specific sites or just to take note of what has changed within the pasted year.  Imagine this year you plan to make that same trip.  But when you arrive you find that the ENTIRE city population is GONE!  Every single person in the city has died!  How would you feel?  What would you be thinking?  Could such a thing happen in only a year and then you sadly realize, many people have taken this lose in stride and merely continue with their everyday existence as if it were “no big thing!”  Surely, someone would take notice!  Surely more people would care!

     That is what has happened this past year during the COVID pandemic!  In the United States the equivalent to ONE of those locations has vanished with some 530,000 deaths from the sickness.  If you consider the pandemic on a world scale, about FIVE of those locations have ceased to exist with some 2.63 million deaths!

     However, these numbers are not just the equivalent of a city located somewhere in the United States or in the world.  These numbers are mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters!  These numbers were REAL people that are no longer with us.  Loved ones who will never and should never be forgotten. 

     Any of us COULD have been part of those numbers.  There were many others who became sick with the virus and recovered.  We can all be thankful for those.  Never let the callousness build up in us that we become insensitive to the pain and hurt of others.  We look forward to a time when things will be better.  But now, we suffer together because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Never think you are alone.

We all suffer together."

Be More Grateful

     When my children were growing up, I recall many occasions where my wife and I would make a decision to take them out for lunch.  We would usually give them a decision to make on where they wanted to eat so we would give them opportunities to pick their favorite “fast-food” place.

     It would always seem inevitable that as soon as we got our food and sat down to eat our lunch, they would begin to quiz their mother and me, “What are we going to have to eat tonight?”  My wife and I would just look at each other and grimace.  Where’s the gratitude for what we have RIGHT NOW?  Of course, this may be expected of children.  However, this type of attitude is not limited to the realm of the young.

     There‘s so much emphasis on getting ahead, being successful and striving for change that it can be hard to remember that you already have so much for which to be grateful. Even worse, the constant pushing to change your circumstances can lead to dissatisfaction, and keep you trapped in a cycle of always feeling you’re not good enough, you never have enough, and you’re thereby not satisfied with what you DO have!

     Free yourself from the shackles of ‘must try harder’ by remembering to stop and appreciate what you’ve already achieved, what blessings you already have in your life. Keep in mind that you are free to be content right now. Here are some tips to help free you from the cycle of discontent and thereby bring greater happiness to your life.

1.      Change your focus

     Research has shown that the more you cultivate a habit of gratitude, the better able you are to weather the ups and downs of life. As you perceive life to be positive, you will come to expect more of the same. You can retrain your brain from negative self-talk to greater thankfulness, gratitude, and happiness.  You will find that training your mind with a willingness to have less and to be satisfied with that, you will have less stress and frustration in your life.  The same can be true for your family as well.

     By practicing gratitude, you rewire the neural pathways in your brain so that it becomes your mindset’s default setting. You learn to look for the good in things instead of focusing on the bad.

2.      Step away from more stuff

     If you’re like most people, you have more than enough possessions.  We’ve become such a society that storage facilities have become one of the largest real estate property investments you can find.  We need more room to store our “things.”  And when those become full, we make sure we get more space so we can store “more things.”  The current mantra is that spending brings happiness, but deep down you probably know that it doesn’t. Sure, buying yourself a new car or outfit makes you feel good at the time, but that “spenders high” wears off pretty quickly.  So if we retrain our minds to see that it’s not all these “things” that are truly going to be the basis of our happiness we will be more content with what you have.

     You will also learn that almost instantly after a “new and improved” item is purchased, the “latest and greatest” model hits the shelves.  Break the habit of buying the next shiny thing and appreciate what you’ve got right now.

3.      Develop a mindfulness practice

     Mindfulness and meditation can help you focus on the good that’s already in your life. By focusing on the present, you free yourself from that familiar yoyo-ing of brooding over past disappointments and future anxieties.  Remember: The past is gone and can’t be changed.  The future hasn’t gotten here yet and may not have any resemblance to what you thought when it does get here.  We can only live in and deal with the here and now!

     You can easily integrate mindfulness into your day. Whatever you’re doing, pause and focus on your breath. Ask yourself: what are five things I’m grateful for in my life right now? Your five items can be anything from having a roof over your head to having a job, your partner or your health. Or you can be grateful for a comfortable chair or clean sheets! Chose anything that makes you feel good at that very moment.  Those things do not have to be “big ticket” items.  There may not be any financial value to them at all!

     Choosing gratitude and contentment doesn’t mean being stagnant or giving up. It means stepping aside from judgment and freeing yourself from the bonds of negativity.  In your process of implementing this mental readjustment never forget, however, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Be grateful for the air you breathe,

without it, you can be grateful of nothing at all!"

Believe in Yourself

      Have you ever found yourself as I have?  Sitting in the commons “waiting” areas of your local Mall watching people walk by as they hurry from one store to the next?  I like “people watching.”  I often think about who they might be, what they may do for secular work, even why they may be here in the Mall at this time and what that “important” item they are searching for in the stores might be!  As I do my watching, I have noticed that some people are “different” from others!  I’m not talking about the obvious physical differences.  I’m talking about something that is inside them that radiates to their outer being.  They exude an air of confidence!  What is it about such people who believe in themselves? We see it in the way they carry themselves, in the way they converse with others, and in the things they accomplish. Self-belief in action is an amazing thing to see, and something everyone should aspire to achieve within their own lives.

     However, when we consider making such adjustments within our own lives, we very quickly become intimidated by this kind of change. It seems like it would be hard to change how you think and how you feel about yourself. We tend to stall out before we begin because it seems like only “special” people are going to be able to make those changes and get ‘there.’

     But is that true? A closer examination shows us otherwise. In fact, you’ll find people who believe in themselves have a lot of traits in common. Let’s consider some of those traits now and see how you could make the necessary adjustments to your life.

They Know Where to Find Happiness

…and it’s not where you’ve been looking. People with self-belief know true happiness is something that comes from inside, not from how many toys you have or how many digits you have in your checking account, or your family background, or anything else you would like to make a comparison to.

They’re Really Not Interested in What Everyone Else is Doing

     With no judgment and even less interest in comparing themselves to others, people who believe in themselves tend to focus more on what they’re doing. The competition simply doesn’t matter.  This doesn’t mean they don’t recognize that certain things are important in a person’s life and that they are not always trying to improve themselves.  It only means they don’t use or become influenced by the various “markers of success” that are so important to others.  They are not constantly trying to measure up to the “Smiths” and “Jones” around them. 

They Pick their Battles

     When you lack self-belief, you tend to say “yes” to everything. The problem? If you don’t value your time, no one else will either. Learning which things to say “yes” to and more importantly, how to say “no,” shows the world around them their time is worth fighting for.  You have to be humble enough to recognize that you can’t do everything even if you wanted to.  Time for the things that are important to you must be made available to you.  We ALL only have 24-hours in a day!  Other people will attempt to monopolize your time unless YOU take control of the situations and learn to say “NO!”

They Know When to Speak Confidently

     There’s no waffling or room for wishy-washy statements in the world of the self-confident person. Your “yes” means “yes.” You use a phrase like, “I know…” or “I can…” without second-guessing or wondering if they really can follow through with what they’re saying.  You have “done your research.”  You know your limitations and abilities.  Although your speech emanates the confidence within, your voice is never harsh, degrading, or demeaning of others around you.

They Look for the Challenge

     There’s nothing like a little healthy competition with yourself. Self-belief means you know the value of pushing yourself to get to the next level. To a person with this kind of self-belief, life becomes almost like a game to move up by facing a challenge straight-on.  With each passing day, you recognize that you can be a better person than you were the day before.  And you willingly accept whatever challenges come your way to make the necessary improvements.

They Know How to Fail

     The person with self-belief isn’t afraid to try, which sometimes means not accomplishing what they set out to do. When that happens, they take the lesson learned without making excuses or worrying about how it looks and continue to move forward.  Almost everyone can name the man who invented the electric light bulb - - - Thomas Edison.  Certainly a great inventor of many things. But the man also stumbled, sometimes tremendously.  According to: (https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/7-epic-fails-brought-to-you-by-the-genius-mind-of-thomas-edison-180947786/#:~:text=Almost%20everyone%20can%20name%20the,successful%20innovators%20in%20American%20history.&text=In%20response%20to%20a%20question,ways%20that%20will%20not%20work.%E2%80%9D  “In response to a question about his missteps, Edison once said, “I have not failed 10,000 times—I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.””  We can follow that same pattern of thinking!

They Don’t Need the Spotlight

     When you believe in yourself, you don’t need accolades and are quick to point out the accomplishments of others. Most people with strong self-belief are modest. They know their value; they don’t need someone else to underscore it for them.  You don’t find this type of person viewing situations as “It’s all about me!”  No, these are the people who know major accomplishments or even small ones are always a team effort and they are willing to “share the limelight.”

    The amazing thing about all of these traits is just how easy they can be to develop in yourself. By taking the time to build habits of self-belief, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you become one of those fantastic people who really believe in themselves. Just be patient and kind to yourself as you work on personally developing these qualities within yourself and never forget: We’re Only Human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"I could  - - - 

I would - - - 

I should - - - 

is not the same as I CAN!"

Live Life with Purpose

      No one likes to go on a trip and not know where they are going or how they are going to get there.  The same can be said for each day of your life!  You need to consider several aspects of your life and layout a plan on how to reach your goals.  Finding your purpose in life can turn everything around.  It can make your  life immediately more meaningful, giving you a reason to bound out of bed in the morning instead of grouching your way to the coffee pot.

     You will immediately find that by giving yourself a purpose you will have greater realization of benefits within your life.  Living with purpose helps to make the tough times easier to deal with, and the good times even better.

     What are some things that you may want to consider in being able to live your life with purpose?

1.    Know Your Beliefs

     Living with purpose starts with understanding your own personal system of values and beliefs. You can’t live by the beliefs of others, not even your parents or your friends.  You need to establish your own values and what you will use to measure those values by.  You’ll need to understand:  What is important to you? What really matters?

     When you understand your beliefs, you can start to live by sticking to what is really important in your moral universe. You have a built-in list that you can use to guide the way you make decisions and priorities. It is the bedrock of integrity and how others will judge you. Living in alignment with your beliefs will earn you respect and trust.

     Of course, what you use as your “measuring stick” for your moral values must be, of itself, reliable.  You cannot be guided through your life with a “faulty compass.”

2.    Get Clarity on Your Priorities

     So to make sure you “stay the course” you need to make sure your priorities are shaped by your purpose.  Once you know your life purpose, it becomes easier to work out what you want to do and how to achieve your goals.  This clarity means that saying no to some things and a hearty yes to others becomes more natural, and you’ll get ahead much faster.  It’s always much better to look through a clean sheet of glass instead of one that has been warped by time and so-called “modern” thinking.

3.    Aim for Balance

     However, with all things within our lives we can lose our focus and become out-of-balance.  We can take some things for granted and almost forget about others all together.  Once you’re comfortable with your life purpose, some of the striving and anxiety of life can ease off. You’ll begin to learn you don’t have to work 24/7.  You will know how important it is to stay healthy, emotionally, and physically.  And you’ll find that people living with purpose make sure to connect with the people they love, and they don’t forget about self-care.

4.    Follow Your Passion

     You’ll come to find out that you will begin to really enjoy your life and will want to get everything out of it you possibly can.  Knowing and understanding the reason for your passion will help you find and nurture your purpose. Passion means energy and motivation; it means being really engaged with life and focusing on getting the most out of it.  A new day is full of opportunities and promise, and you’re ready to go for it!

5.    Feel Your Contentment

     This might sound a little surprising, but living a purposeful life gives you time to smell the roses, as the expression goes.  Knowing your life purpose takes the anxious edge off things and allows you to feel grateful for where you are now, as well as excited for the future.  You will be able to learn to live with much or with little.  It’s not the things that are going to make you happy.

6.    Live in the Present

     Perhaps the best gift of a life of purpose is that you relish every moment. There’s no room in your life for regret because everything you do is part of the big adventure. Challenges and setbacks become easier to ride out because you’re not letting failure define you. Being plugged into the present allows you to feel the abundance that’s already in your life.  You will see the greater joy and compassion of helping others and how this will bring ever greater joy to YOUR life!

     As with anything within our lives we must exercise patience with others and with ourselves as we strive to make these adjustments.  There will be no greater hurdle to overcome than that of our own make-up.  That always seems to be the major problem: We’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"For all things created there is a purpose

EVEN YOU!"