Did
you know that confidence is a learnable skill? If you look at your life right
now you will find you have had confidence in many areas. If you are honest with
yourself you will also notice areas of your life where you lack confidence.
For example, I work out about 3 times a
week and it is a huge part of my life. I
love it. However, this wasn’t always the case. When I first learned how to lift
weights, I was awkward, weak and clumsy. I was always looking around the gym at
the experienced people worried that they might be judging me. Had my desire to
lose weight and improve my health not been so strong at the time, I very likely
would have let the discomfort of the situation force me to quit and give up.
But I didn’t. I found several experienced individuals
and started to learn from them. I slowly but deliberately became stronger and
more comfortable in the gym setting. After a few short weeks, it was almost
second nature to me. All of the feelings of embarrassment and inferiority had
disappeared. I had developed confidence. The same way I had developed
confidence when I learned to walk as a baby, when I learned to ride a bike as a
young boy and when I learned how to drive at age 16.
There is no trick to the development of
confidence. It is a predictable process that any of us can implement for
virtually any action or habit in our lives.
Have you recognized this and applied this
in your life?
OR have you mistakenly accused yourself of
not having to ability to do something due to a lack of confidence?
I want you to take a moment right now and
mentally review your dominant thought patterns.
Most people have at least one area in
their life where they lack confidence. For some, it could be speaking in
public, for others it could be meeting new people and developing relationships.
Identify what that specific area in your life is right now
How can you do this? Simply follow the suggestions outlined here:
- You have to identify a major goal that you would
like to achieve
- You have to identify where you lack confidence in
terms of the obtainment of this goal. I assume you lack confidence in this
area because if you did not lack confidence then you would have achieved
this goal by now. So, identify what that blockage is:
- If you’re an entrepreneur, maybe you lack
confidence in presenting funding proposals to other business owners or
financial institutions.
- If you are in sales perhaps you are limiting
your success by not pursuing the large accounts.
- Maybe you are in a relationship and you‘re not
happy with the behavior of your partner, do you lack the confidence to
ask for what you want?
- Write at least one paragraph that describes your
confidence block and your current state of mind. When you imagine yourself
in this situation of low confidence, what comes up for you. Are you
anxious, nervous, upset, etc… Describe your state as accurately as possible
- Now that you are aware of your confidence
blockages, you can begin to redevelop them. Define one major activity that
you can implement ASAP that moves you towards your goal
- If you have a fear of speaking, your activity
could be to rehearse a 10-minute power speech in front of the mirror
- If you struggle in sales, you could plan to
practice and refine your sales presentation with a manager or senior
colleague
- Write a commitment to yourself to practice this
new activity every single day for the next 30 days. If you really want to
commit to this, find an accountability partner and perform the activity
with them so that you have a witness.
- At the end of 30 days, repeat step 3 again and analyse
where you are at in terms of confidence. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10
You can continue this until you reach a
level that you are satisfied with when it comes to your confidence in this area
of your life!
Once you develop confidence in yourself
begin to manifest confidence in others.
Often there are many things in life that we can’t accomplish on our own
but will need the assistance of others.
By developing this confidence, you will
find many enjoyable new activities in your life and others will be able to see
the confidence you exude!
One caution: Do Not confuse confidence with
arrogance and pride. Please be careful
because we’re only human!
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