The Whole Picture

     Many times, within our lives, we have to make decisions about people, about circumstances, and even perhaps about ourselves!  What will help us to do the best we can under those situations?  The thing to keep upmost in mind is:  To get the whole picture!

     What do I mean by that?  It’s really very simple.  For us to get the most accurate and best effective solution to our problem we must be able to see the entire “picture” of what is truly going on.

     We might relate it to some type of physical ailment and having to make a trip to the doctor’s office.  When we finally get in to see the doctor (I know that almost seems like it takes forever) what is usually the FIRST thing that we are asked?  “How are you doing?”  Or maybe “What is the problem today?”  You would think that after making an appointment, showing up at the office, and then waiting until our scheduled appointment time has come and gone, the doctor would know that we must have a medical problems or why else would we be there spending all our precious time just to see them!

     Then when we have started to explain our concern for making this visit the doctor starts throwing all those other questions at us:  When did this start happening?  How long have you had this pain?  What have you taken for it, if anything?  Has this happened before?  And many other questions that may make us wonder why he or she needs to know all this information?

     The reason?  The doctor wants to get a complete picture of what our current medical condition is and perhaps what has changed and hopefully why it has changed.

     We should attempt to do the same when we need to analyze a specific situation or circumstance.  Often however if we were completely honest, we don’t know all the things that might be involved in or what may be surrounding the circumstances that we are having to face.  If may be that we will never know all that is involved with certain events.  This is especially true when WE are trying to make deductions or summations about the circumstances of other people.

     WHY are they acting that way?  THAT was a very foolish decision to make?  We do not know exactly what another person is dealing with.  We might have had similar circumstances but the situation will not be exactly like the one we went through.  Our decision may have been made on the “pieces of the puzzle” that we had available.  There available knowledge or information may have been different.

     Some situations may have us so confused that we are like the dilemma facing the former crew of the USS Enterprise in the 1986 movie “Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.”  After stealing a starship, they ventured back to earth in the attempts to learn what alien force was disabling global power on the planet and evaporating the oceans.

     When confronted with the situation Spock’s father made this simple but very powerful statement concerning the “message” from the space probe: “It is difficult to respond with an answer when one does not understand the question.”

     As this may be so true about many situations it still doesn’t prevent us as humans from wanting to play “armchair quarterbacks” during football games or trying to provide OUR solutions to others problems.  But then again, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"At times the problem is not solving the puzzle.
It's deciding which pieces to use first."

The Post

  

    I stare at the blank screen on my computer and start to wonder what words will come into my head this day.  Perhaps words that will produce a smile upon the face of my reader.  Perhaps it will be words that will bring sadness to their faces and give them reason for serious thought as a single lone tear drop falls from their eyes upon their cheek. Maybe, just maybe, they will wrap themselves within the words of my blog and become totally unaware of the world as it continues to speed past them.

     Or maybe it will be words that will carry them away to some fanciful place that they had never dreamed about before.  Some magical place that will provide them a few moments of relief from the current agonies that they are facing.  Maybe even motivating them to make their lives better?

     Words can be used to lift the spirit of the down-hearten or stir the soul to the march of some world changing crusade.  It is almost unbelievable as to the power of words and how they can effect people so differently.  So, I sit in front of my computer screen and wonder what will be the words that I will use today to transform the life of one of my readers?

     Maybe it will be the words that will make them think seriously about their present circumstances and give them the resolve to change the way things are currently affecting their lives.  It might be the opportunity for them to reflect upon what they have done in the past and how they may be able to resolve never to do those things again.

     It might only be words that will provide a subject for them to debate with their friends to think “What is my opinion on this matter?”  We might never know the effect that our words will have on another person.  We can understand why choosing our words very carefully is so important before we speak.

     In real life we are not like cartoon characters who have their words come out in “little bubbles” above their heads.  If those “characters” are allowed to speak the wrong words all the cartoonist has to do is erase the words from the bubble and begin anew.  It is not that way for us!  Once our words come out of our mouths they cannot be “erased” and redone.  We do not have a “reset” button upon the words falling from our mouths.

     Others may forgive us for what we have said but the truth is that those words spoken or written in haste may haunt someone for years, perhaps even for the rest of their lives!  It was once written "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  That saying is not always true.  We shouldn't let the words of others dictate who we are in life; however, some words are very painful and certainly can produce a long-lasting trauma within us. 

     I think you can understand why choosing the precise words that will become part of my blog post must be done very carefully.  So, I sit in front of my computer screen and let my thoughts meander through the cobwebs of my mind in hopes of finding the correct words to put into the blog post that I am working on for today.

     Who knows?  Maybe I will have figured out the words I need to use before it is time to post the blog.  Maybe I won’t!  Now that I notice it, the blank screen in front of me is now full of words.  Words that I hope will make sense to those who are reading them.  But I am like all of you:  We’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"The pen is mightier than the sword
only because of the power of the words
they write!"

Planning

    It doesn’t matter what activity we may be involved in the beginning stages must evolve around planning.  Now depending upon the complexity of our “project” the planning stage may only consists of a few thoughts within our minds so that we have an idea of the order and arrangement of steps that must be taken to get the task accomplished.

     For example, when we get up in the morning, we may have to give a few minutes thought to what we are going to wear.  This task may be further simplified by actually doing the “planning” the night before and having all our garments arranged so that the early morning activity of having to “think” may be minimized.

     Obviously if we were beginning the process of creating a sub-division for a city lay-out the planning steps would be certainly more involved and more consideration would have to be given to different aspects of such a project.  The actually planning may involve dividing the various tasks into sub-tasks and assigning others to care for the various components of the over-all project.  Many details would need to be in writing and probably have the approval of various other individuals before the project could even get started.

     I think most of us would find that the projects we have to undertake would fall somewhere between the two examples I gave with the majority leaning toward the lower side of that scale.

     Sometimes the problems lie within us as we reach the conclusion that the task is simply too large and overwhelming for us to tackle.  When this happens what we really need to do is “step back” from the LARGE project and see how we can break it down into various smaller steps and then determine how each of those steps can be accomplished and how they fit into the overall completion of the project.

     As a very simple example of the task of building a house:  You would have the foundation, the walls, the roof, the plumbing, the electrical, and other components.  You would need to see how each of these were to be placed in getting the complete house built.  Obviously, you would not try to build the roof if you had not yet got the walls in place and so on.

     By “breaking down” the complete project into such various steps you will find that things can be accomplished with much less confusion and headaches.

     Even in such a project as moving from one house to another.  The initial thoughts are that this is going to overwhelming.  However, don’t look at the project as moving your house.  Look at moving only one room at a time.  Decide on those items that can be boxed and packed in such a way that they can be carried to you new location by means of your vehicle.  Then determine what items (larger furniture, etc.) that must be carried by movers.  Do this for each room and you will see how much easier the task becomes.  Of course, this type of project is going to depend on where you are moving to!  If this is becoming an out-of-town or out-of-state move you may have to leave everything up to the moving company.

     Our main concern in general is that we don’t want to feel we are no longer in control of the situation and when we become overwhelmed by the size of the tasks involved in a specific problem that is what usually happens. 

     However, no matter how much planning we do, we are never truly convenienced that we have done all that we could or that perhaps we could have done certain things in a different way.  But then again, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Do all the planning you need to do,

but then get busy putting your plan into action."

Siblings

  

   “Each of two or more children or offspring having one or both parents in common, a brother or sister.”  That may sound like an awkward definition of your brother or sister but that’s the way it is stated in the dictionary.   I think we all have our own definitions to define our relationships with our brothers and sisters.  Some of them may not be very nice, but nevertheless, they define for us that relationship.  We may also realize that our definition may change over time.  Those who were the most annoying to us as we were growing up may now be the closest to us.

     We all have our own memories of experiences within our lives where that ONE brother or sister always made things very difficult for us.  Or, at least, that was our thoughts at the time.  We may remember things about our siblings that they don’t.  It is probably because to them it was “no big thing.”  To us, we might have felt that our life was coming to an end!

     There were times we would find fault with them, argue with them, fight with them, and do about anything else we can think of.  But let someone “outside” our family framework say something about them or do something to them and we would be right there to correct that situation as soon as we could!  It reminds me of the 1988 movie with Danny DeVito and Arnold  Schwarzenegger, “TWINS”.  The basis of the movie contrasts the streetwise Vincent (DeVito) with the intelligent but naïve Julius (Schwarzenegger).  In one scene where “the bad guys” are coming after Vincent, his “twin” Julius steps in and physically prevents this from happening.  Vincent steps in with the comment: “You mess with me you mess with my whole family!”  And that pretty well explains the sibling relationship.  It’s that old saying: “Blood is thicker than water.”

     As we grow, we tend to go in our separate ways.  Often, like our own children, our siblings may do things or choose a way of life that does not agree with our personal point of view.  However, they are still our sibling.  We love them for who they are and not necessarily for what they do.  We all make certain choices within our lives.  There are perhaps choices we have made that our siblings don’t like about us.  When it comes down to the “bottom line”:  You can pick your job, you can pick your location of residence, you can pick your friends, you can even pick your nose!  But you CAN’T pick your siblings!  That’s just the way it is.  Sometimes you simply play the hand that was dealt to you and do the best you can.  Besides We’re Only Human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"You can not be the sibling
of an only child."

Moving

    My wife and I had lived in our five-bedroom, two bath home for over twenty years and watched our children grow up and one by one move away.  The house was a split level and now was certainly too large for just the two of us.  So, we packed things up, sold many items, or gave things to the kids or to friends and moved into a two-bedroom, one bath apartment.  That was EIGHT years ago!  Now we are preparing to move again.

     Originally when we moved into our current apartment it was only going to be for one year until we made some adjustments and could decide exactly what we wanted to do.  But that decision time turned into those eight years and now here we are again packing up and getting ready to make a move.

     We are really looking forward to being in our new location.  The problem is THE MOVE!  It’s almost impossible to imagine how many additional things you collect within only eight years.  Going through the things you have and seeing things that you don’t even remember you own or kept.  And then you don’t know why you kept them?  Example:  My wife took a box out of my office closet and asked me if it was a “keeper” or could it be thrown away.  I asked her what it was?  She said “they are invoices from 1999.”  I thought “1999!” why did I even move them from the house during our original move?  They were thrown away (after shredding them).

     I think that’s the problem with moving.  You just have to get things packed away so you can carry them into your new location and unpack them!  We just hope that in the move things don’t get lost or misplaced.  Getting things back to their “normal” location so you can immediately begin to function again is always a big headache.  However, doing the move does give us another opportunity to thin things out and not continue to hang on to things that are really not necessary to have any longer.

     However, although I am going to fight the urge, and my wife says that she is also going to, moving does give you a chance to begin collecting new things that you will realize in a few years are things that you really didn’t need to have in the first place.

     I’m looking forward to the nice front yard that I can look at from the porch swing.  I’m thinking about getting a bird feeder and just sit there in the swing and watch the birds eat.  Maybe I should also add a bird bath?  Then before I know it another decade will have passed and multiple generations of birds would have enjoyed that feeder and bath.  I would have also gained much enjoyment from watching God’s creation and with some effort on my part perhaps I would have learned something that I can use in my own life.  Then again, maybe not:  We’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Moving cannot be done from a stationary position."

Gambler

    It seems that many people today have a propensity for gambling.  I’m not talking about those individuals who have the “disease” of gambling.  I’m speaking about your every day, ordinary human who would not even think of themselves as a gambler.  However, what is the basic definition of gambling? 

     We may think of the fist definition that comes to our minds: “to play games of chance for money or to bet on the outcome of certain situations.”  However, the term also has the meaning as to “take risky action in the hope of a desired results.”  Here is where many people, perhaps unknowingly, commit themselves to become the gambler!

     People simply have an obsession with gambling.  Las Vegas which at one time was the gambling capital of the world has now been eclipsed by Macau, China, where casinos with familiar names like MGM Grand, the Venetian, and Wynn pull in more money in 2 months than the casinos on the Strip of Las Vegas generate in a year!

     Yet there are now many other gambling opportunities within the United States that are beginning to dwarf the income of the Vegas strip.  Many States have riverboat casinos or Native American casinos as well as commercial casinos.  In many areas it has now become legal to have sports betting within States.  The desires for humans to gamble are continuing to become prolific wherever you look.

     What is truly unbelievable is that today amid the current pandemic every day, ordinary people are beginning to gamble with their lives!  Although many restrictions have been put into place with the hopes of “reopening” the various nations of the world for economic reasons, most people are not happy with these restrictions and have now begun to defy the requirements and take their lives into their own hands.  “Playing the odds” as it were with their lives and the lives of others!

     It is reaching the point where common sense no longer comes into play in the decisions that people are making.  If some were told they “cannot stand in the burning house”, they would reply: “A little heat doesn’t bother me.  I’m not effected by the smoke.  No one can tell me what to do with my life!”  These types of responses would make us want to believe that the person must have some type of mental illness to put themselves into such jeopardy.  Yet that is what many are desiring to do today!  And to add to that some are, in effect, saying: “You can come stand in the fire with me!”

     When it comes to the bottom line: We are a strange bunch of people!  But then again, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Any risk of your life 

or the life of another 

is unacceptable!"

Success

    Just the mere mention of the word success brings thoughts to the minds of some of great sports figures, of powerful military leaders, or perhaps giant business tycoons!  Many have taken this view of the definition of the word success: “the attainment of popularity or profit.”  Or some have taken the view that success is “a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity.”

     Success has been defined in many different ways by many different people.  One source trying to put the definition of success into simple words stated: “Being successful means the achievement of desired visions and planned goals.  Furthermore, success can be a certain social status that describes a prosperous person that could also have gained fame for its favorable outcome.”

     Another source put the definition this way: “Real success in life is achieving the goals that matter to you the most.  Based on the way your personality developed and the life experiences you have been through since you were born with the idea of certain things that will become important to you.”

     One of the greatest models in life (according to some sources), the late Coach John Wooden, defined success as follows: “Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”  Success is an attitude.

     With all these possible descriptions of what success is how is a person to truly understand what real success is?  Ask yourself: “What can be worse than failure?”  The answer may surprise you but it is FALSE SUCCESS!  Think about it for a moment.  If you fail you can always take steps to correct the situation.  At the very least, you can learn from the experience and make a firm resolution to do better the next time.

     But false success is different.  If you fall under the influence of false success you may be thinking that you are winning when in reality you are losing.  By the time you see the need to make any changes, it may be too late!  What does this mean for you?

     In a survey in the United States several years ago “having a lot of money” came in 20^th in a list of 22 “contributors to having a successful life.”  What did people consider to be more important in being successful?  Closer to the top of the list were such things as good health, good relationships, and a job that they love.

     Clearly at that time many people could distinguish between false success and true success – at least when they were asked.  The problem becomes more challenging when people are to make decisions that reflect the proper view of success within their daily lives.  That’s where the peer pressure and influence of the world around us becomes greatest.  Then, again, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"To raise children to adulthood 
in this world today is a great success!"

Regrets

     There is probably not one person alive who couldn’t look back on their life and ponder situations that they may like to change and do differently.  We know that it is not possible to do that but we could nevertheless look back with a hopeful desire that if we knew then what we know now perhaps a different decision would have been made.

     However, let’s consider this for a moment:  We CAN’T change anything that has happened in the past no matter how we might now feel about it - - - BUT when we consider the things we knew then maybe that was the best decision to have been make under the circumstances!  Even if that decision turned out to be a poor choice, we should not have regrets over what happened.

     Every single day we are making decisions that effect our lives to various degrees, some will be minor and some will be major.  The point is that if we had a conclusive and definite insight into the future perhaps our decisions would have been different, or perhaps not!

      Any decision we make molds us into the character we have become.  It doesn’t matter WHY we made a certain decision the way we did.  It only matters that the decision was made and now we will be molded by the consequences of that decision.

     There may be times when we come to recognize that a certain decision that we made is going to have undesired consequences and we might be able to make a new decision that will nullify or at least lessen the forth coming results.  It might be that we are unable to do anything about the outcome because we have waited too long or have made additional decisions that have compounded the issue to a point where nothing we might consider would make a difference.  
  

     We work with what we have available to us at the time and then we respond to the outcome of those decisions.  Yes, we may feel the sadness and regret some of those decisions, but in truth, we can learn from the folly of the errors we have made.  We can use that information to become a better person in the present and move forward to the future with the desire to be more cautious in the decisions we have to make then.

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Some times our actions override our thoughts 
and bring us unexpected results."

Reading

    I have always had a passion for reading.  When I was younger the passion was only a small flame within me.  I read because I HAD to.  Perhaps it was to pass a test, or to convey a short book report to the class.  However, after I graduated I found out that reading was very enjoyable.  With that thought I agree with the American author Garrison Keillor when he said: “A book is gift you can open again and again.”  You can enjoy more of his writings at www.garrisonkeillor.com.

     Writing has always been the activity that I enjoy the most in giving of myself, but reading is the guide to my continually replenishing my mind with ideas and thoughts that make the written words flow from the tips of my fingers on to the empty page.  I not certain what would come across the blank page if I have not been taking some necessary time to read the thoughts and ideas of others.  Especially do I appreciate reading during these times that we are required to “shelter in place” because of the virus.  I have to agree with Mason Cooley when he said:  “Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.”

     It is really up to us as adults, especially those who are parents, to instill within our children a real love for reading.  Emilie Buchwald stated it best when she said: “Children are made readers on the laps of their parents.”  This is very true.  Never imply to your child that reading is a punishment or penalty for something that they have or have not done.  Reading should always be given to them as a most precious gift that they can enjoy for their entire lifetime.  “There are many little ways to enlarge your child’s world.  Love of books is the best of all.” (Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis)

     Learning to enjoy the activity of reading becomes a treasure that can never be taken from you. “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies - - - The man who never reads lives only one.” (George R.R. Martin)  The adventures that can be had are untold and unimaginable!  Years ago I saw a movie entitled “The Never Ending Story.”  The main character, a young boy, was encouraged to read a book that not only provided a marvelous adventure, but actually allowed the reader to become part of the action himself!  As C.S. Lewis stated it: “You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.”

     Reading removes us from our current circumstances and transports us to unknown realities and unites us with individuals we have never before known.  “One glance at a book and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for 1,000 years.  To read is to voyage through time.” (Carl Sagan)  William Faulkner perhaps put the subject into its most basic perspective:  “Read, Read, Read.”

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Reading is a way to live the life of others 
within in your own mind."