Darkness

     For about the first nine months of our existence we are alone and in the dark.  The only comforting thing about our situation is that we take comfort in realizing that we feel protected and continually hear the systematic beating of our mother’s heart.    

     However, after our birth and the span of several years, we grow into small children we have been thrown into a world of chaos and turmoil.  We do not yet understand how we fit into this strange and terrifying world.  One of our biggest fears is being left alone in the dark! 

     With the limited knowledge that we have and the fears that almost consume us on a daily basis we no longer have that feeling of protection and we cannot hear the soothing rhythm of our mother’s heartbeat.  Adding to this is that in some situations it is the very people we have felt would be that protection for us who have now turned out to the ones who are creating and continuing the situation of problems we have to have.

     We feel trapped!  We feel unable to tell anyone about the daily abuses that are showered upon us!  We often feel that the cause of all the problems that we have to face is US!  These bad and terrible things only happen to us because it’s our fault.  We start to feel that this type of life is what we deserve and we had better learn how to deal with it or it will consume us.

     As we grow older and having found a way to remove ourselves from the horrific circumstances that we had called “our life,” we find ourselves still with the feelings that WE are unworthy or having any “normal” existence.  We don’t deserve to have “good” things happen to us.  Our minds become consumed with an almost self destructive feature.  If something “good” appears to be coming into our lives we find some way of pushing it away.  Making ourselves retreat back into the former existence that was our prior lives.

     At times we retreat into the darkness of our own minds.  We tell ourselves this dark and lonely place, deep within the recesses of our mind, is the only place we can find peace and contentment.  Sadly at times the darkness of our mind, the darkness that we once feared so badly has now become the sanctuary where we want to “live.”  And there are often times when we are unable (or unwilling) to return from those dark corners of our minds and just continue our existence alone and in the dark!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Love can reach into places we fear to tread."