When you’re growing up there are various music, books, or movies that touch you in some way that maybe at first doesn’t register in your life. Later on as you continue to mature and have various experiences in your life you begin to see how even small things change, add to, or take away from your character.
I’m going way back to 1970 and a movie called “Love Story.” It starred Ryan O’Neal as Oliver Barrett IV, a young man from an upper class east coast family and heir to the Barrett fortune. Oliver meets Jennifer “Jenny” Cavalleri (played by Ali MacGraw) a quick-witted, working class Radcliffe College student of classical music. They quickly fall in love, despite their differences and the disapproval of his father.
Their life is not easy and they have only their love to get them through it. Because of their decision to marry, Oliver’s father has cut him off from the family fortune. Having graduated third in his law class, Oliver takes a position at a respectable New York law firm and decides to begin a family with Jenny.
After failing to conceive they consult a medical specialist. After many tests, Oliver is informed that Jenny is terminally ill. The movie actually never says what disease she has although it appears to be leukemia. After trying to live a “normal” life their medical bills have grown to the point where Oliver has no alternative but to ask his father for financial help.
When his father asks what the large amount of money is for, Oliver only replies that it is personal! His father inquires if he has “gotten a girl in trouble?” Oliver doesn’t want his father to know the truth so he simply says “yes”. So his father writes him a check.
In the climax of the story, Jenny has prepared for her funeral and the two of them try to find comfort in each others’ arms and revel in the love that they have shared together. Then Jenny dies in his embrace. As Oliver is leaving the hospital he sees his father outside. The senior Barrett has rushed to New York after hearing of the news about Jenny. Oliver tells him that Jenny is dead, and his father says “I’m sorry”, to which Oliver replies “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” This is the main theme that is woven throughout the lives of Jenny and Oliver during the entire move.
That movie touched my heart as it did for thousands of other people. But as the years have passed since I watched that movie I have come to appreciate that as heart-wrenching and powerful that statement was in the movie --- it is completely wrong! If you truly love someone you will constantly be telling them you’re sorry when you have made mistakes. And you are going to make mistakes because we are all imperfect.
Throughout your married life you will regret many things that you do or say or maybe it’s the things that you DON’T do or say that will make you have regrets. Whichever the case, it is the truly loving person who will admit their errors and will then make the necessary adjustments to “make it right!” That’s what love really is: the acknowledgment that you and your spouse are not perfect and mistakes are going to be made and forgiveness is going to be necessary.
As for myself I think the Bible has the best description of love in action. It is recorded at 1 Co. 13:4-8 (according to the King James Version): “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” We have many reasons for displaying love. But primarily our first reason is plainly stated at 1 John 4:19 where it states: “We love because he [God] first loved us.”
If we truly showed this love in our lives and displayed it in our lives there would never be a reason to say we were “sorry!” But, we can’t do that the way we should because of our imperfections: we’re only human!
QUOTE TO CONSIDER
THOUGHTFUL GEM
"When you have nothing,
you find out who your real friends are."
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