Parents!

            You’ve had them!  You may have even been one (or maybe you’re one now.)  Let’s think back a number of years when you were growing up.  Your parents seemed, to you, to be the dumbest people you had ever known.  They were not “modern.”  They never let you have any fun, or at least that’s the way it seemed to you at the time.  Almost every time you wanted to go somewhere special with your friends, they never let you go!  But, let’s be honest, there were times when you really didn’t want to go with your friends, but you couldn’t think of how to tell them that without seeming like a “party pooper.”  Thank goodness for your wonderful parents!  Now the conversation went like this:  “I would love to go, guys.  But my parents have said “No Way!”  There’s no way I’m going to be able to talk them out of their decision!”  And yet, under your breathe, you’re thinking “I’m glad I have these parents!”

            You think back to of all the things you did that your parents NEVER knew you did.  Recall all the headaches you DID give your parents!  Maybe they couldn’t have survived if they had actually known the truth.  And, no doubt, they probably did many things that seemed to drive YOU crazy.  You know the kind of things I’m talking about.  Your Dad, if he was anything like mine, was usually NEVER (or at least seldom) around.  Raising children was women’s work!  He had to concentrate on “bringing home the bacon.”  Of course, that meant I never had a close relationship with my father.  My mother, bless her soul, was kind and gentle most of the time until you got her upset!  She was a small wiry woman who could manipulate a switch like no one I’ve ever seen.  And you knew you were REALLY in trouble when she yelled for you to come to her and used your entire FULL name!  This must be some unwritten rule in the mother’s handbook. But, now that they have both passed away I (as well as you) fondly remember all those “irritating” things they used to do.  And I miss them both.

            So, if you are a parent (or have been), I’d like to give you a little advice that I hope will help you within your family circle.  All these things that you can remember YOUR parents did that you thought were inappropriate, or at least unnecessary, don’t do them to YOUR children.  And remembering all those areas in which you parents really helped you out or maybe provided YOU that extra support that motivated you to move forward, bless YOUR children with all the support THEY need.  And, you fathers, be a part of your children’s lives.  They need to know that you’re there for them when needed.  This is true regardless if your children are boys or girls.

            And, believe me, I understand there are going to be times they will test your patience beyond the limits.  This is the time you’ll need to remember how much you love them and put that love into action.  And when you feel that you can’t do any more, pray for the strength to go further.  You also have to remember parents aren’t perfect.  And it doesn’t reduce your authority or position in the eyes of your children if you let them know that YOU WILL make mistakes.  There’s really no parenting manual that you can continually refer to for all the answers.  Even if you have more than one child, they are all going to be different.  And your parenting skills will have to continually adjust as you go along.  So you will make mistakes!  When you do you may have to apologize to your child and move forward.  And there will be those times when you think everything you’ve done has failed!  That’s when you’ll get a little note or a picture drawn by your child with those unforgettable words “I love you” on it and your heart will melt.  Sometimes this may come in ways you didn’t expect or understand.  One year during a parent-teacher conference one teacher showed us several pictures that one of our sons had drawn.  The assignment was to draw a picture of the house in which you lived.  Our son had drawn a home that actually looked similar to what we lived in but, it had several chimneys on the top.  We told the teacher our home didn’t have a chimney, much less FIVE!  Her response was interesting.  She told us our son must really feel warm and secure in our home and this was his way of showing that in a picture.  That makes you feel really good as a parent.  You will continue to have those types of experiences through your years as a parent.

            Then, one day, you’ll find that after decades of giving, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, to your children, you have reached a point in your life where the parent has become the child and the child has become the parent.  You must realize that your children truly love you and now it is their desire to care for YOUR needs.  Sometimes this is not always easy.  You don’t want to admit that you can no longer do the things you want to do or maybe, at least, not to the extent you are able to do them at one time in your past.  Then your children come to your assistance either financially or maybe physically.  Or maybe it’s just that they are there to give you a comforting shoulder to lean on.  Then you realize you did a pretty good job!  They turned into some mighty wonderful people.  It was worth all the work, all the sleepless nights, and even those times of heartache, pain, and tears.  These are YOUR children and you can’t express the joy you have in them.  At times it may have seemed like a thankless job.  It may obviously have been one that didn’t pay very well and costs a lot in money and time.  But there can be NO other job that winds up giving you such a wonderful feeling of accomplishment.

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Momma said: 'Be nice to people.'

LISTEN to your mother!"