Satisfaction

 

     There is probably no greater joy than to look back on your life and know that under all the circumstances that you had to face, the trials that you had to endure, the friendships you made, the opportunities that you got to take advantage of and even those that you missed, during all these things you did the best that you could do with what you had!

     It is that feeling of satisfaction that you did what needed to be done.  Maybe looking back, you could see many areas and situations that thinking about them today you would have done differently.  However, with what you knew then and what you had available at your disposal you did the best that could have been expected.

 

     Considering satisfaction, an act of satisfying; fulfillment; gratification, the state of being satisfied; contentment, the cause or means of being satisfied, confident acceptance of something as satisfactory, dependable, true, etc. reparation or compensation, as for a wrong or injury.  However, you want to define that feeling of satisfaction, you will note one thing about all humans?  We all want to be satisfied, although what leads to the satisfaction of one may be completely different from what is satisfying to another!  How can you find satisfaction within your life?

 

     Success.com posted an article (https://www.success.com/7-ways-to-lead-a-more-satisfying-life/ ) on 7 Ways to Lead a More Satisfying Life.  They are:

 

1.    Focus on the positive.  “Rather than allowing those negative, anxious thoughts to dominate your mind, think of the good things in your life. For every negative thing that comes to mind, force yourself to find a positive thing.”

 

2.    Find your stress relief.  “Figure out what soothes you, the things that most reduce your stress. Make a point to take time out of your busy schedule to practice your stress-relieving activities on a regular basis.”

3.    Don’t be afraid to take time for yourself.  “Rather than allowing yourself to get so overwhelmed you just throw your hands up in frustration and give up, learn to recognize when you’re getting close to your breaking point, and then take a break.”

4.    Take responsibility for your actions.  “Rather than focus on what could have been done, take responsibility for your own actions, and then examine the situation.”

5.    Be more understanding.  “Developing the ability to see from another person’s perspective without bias is a gift very few people possess, but it is a valuable trait."

6.    Re-evaluate your relationships.  “Be brutally honest with yourself and distance yourself from the people who you feel might be sapping your energy. Surround yourself with people who are positive influences and people who make you happy, enhancing your quality of life.”

7.    Live your best life.  “Don’t let other people dictate how to live your life. Walk your own path without fear of judgment.”

 

     Remember, there is only ONE YOU!  You must consider what you find to be satisfying and move forward in that area.  It may not be what someone else would choose for their lives, but they are not you! 

 

     However always think of others in your considerations.  You can be truly happy and be compassionate and loving and caring at the same time.  We will always have difficulties to face in our lives and it is how we face those situations that will help determine our satisfaction in life.  Never forget, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"You cannot be truly satisfied with others

until you are satisfied with yourself!"

Feelings

      All of us have them.  We may want to deny them.  But they are always there.  It happens when we’re in a happy mood or when we are in a sad mood.  They happen at any point in between.  Sometimes we try to hide them from others.  There are occasions when we try to hide them from ourselves!  What am I talking about?  Feelings!

     Those emotional states or reactions we have to certain circumstances around us.  They are always present and at times we find it difficult to deal with them.  There can be times when we find ourselves unable to deal with them unless we have help from some outside source.

 

     According to Psych2Go (https://psych2go.net/10-basic-emotions-and-what-theyre-trying-to-tell-you/ ) there are 10 basic emotions and they are always trying to tell us something.  What are these 10 basic emotions?

 

1.    Happiness.  This would include joy, pleasure, and satisfaction.  Such feelings “exist to remind us of what it is that we value most, so think about the times when you feel happiest and you will come to realize what it is you want most in life.”

    

2.    Sadness.  “Sadness is a very complex and nuanced emotion, one that can come in many varying degrees and manifest in a lot of different ways. But it’s most important purpose is to help us process our feelings of grief and disappointment.”

3.    Anger.  “Often manifesting as clenched fists, tense muscles, and a flushed face, our anger begs us for release, so we let it out by stomping our feet, shouting at those around us, and even breaking the things within our reach. We feel frustrated because there is something stopping us from getting what we want, so we lash out to make ourselves feel less helpless against our situation.”

 

4.      Anticipation.  ‘Anticipation refers to a physiological state of arousal that we experience when we’re excited, anxious, or uncertain about what’s to come (Loewenstein, 1987). If you’re feeling anxious about something, it’s your mind’s way of reminding you to plan ahead of time and better prepare yourself for the future.”

5.      Fear.  “Evolutionary psychology tells us that fear is a basic survival mechanism meant to keep us safe from potential danger. It’s why we have an innate fight-or-flight response that’s triggered whenever we feel physically or emotionally threatened by something (LeDoux, 2012). But sometimes we feel fear towards things that we aren’t supposed to, like failure, uncertainty, emotional vulnerability, and the loss of control. Fear keeps us from taking risks, challenging ourselves, and going after what we want.”

6.      Loneliness.  “People feel lonely when they feel isolated and disconnected from those around them. Because we as humans have a deep-seated need for social interaction, loneliness is meant to signal to us that we need to reconnect with our loved ones and attend to our relationships with those we care about.”

7.      Jealousy.  “The feeling we get when we want what someone else has. We feel envious of others when we perceive that they are more fortunate than us in some way; that they are happier, wealthier, smarter, or more successful. Jealousy can give way to insecurity and hurt our self-esteem because it makes us think that we aren’t good enough to have everything we want.” 

8.      Disgust.  “We feel repulsed by things that we consider to be unclean or disease-ridden, like cockroaches, rats, waste, and rotten food. We also feel revolted by things that go against our most fundamental social norms such as heinous crimes and certain sexual behaviors (Miller, 1998).”

9.      Surprise.  “Surprise is something we feel when something unexpected happens to us or those around us. When we feel surprised, we become more curious and alert because it forces us to change our perspective and adapt to new situations.”

10.  Trust.  “Trust is an emotion built on our experiences and it’s meant to remind us of both the good and bad that other people have done unto us so we can better protect ourselves against emotional pain. Often times, trust and love go hand in hand, so when a loved one betrays us, they often lose not only our trust but also our affection.”

     There may be other feelings that we may experience, but I think most could fall within the 10 mentioned from the article above.  The problem we face at times is that we want to show an expression of our feelings even within the simplest of messages we send to others either on our computers or our phones. 

     So, we have invented pictorial representations of our feelings that we can attach to our various messages that we transmit to others.  We have termed these, often humorous pictures, emojis!  If you visit https://depositphotos.com/vector-images/emotions.html you’ll find probably all the emojis you will ever need to use. 

     It seems we’re always trying to make our lives easier.  Even if we don’t really know how to express our feelings, we can simply apply a picture emoji or a video emoji and everyone will understand!  That’s just the way we are, because we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Help the majority succeed 

even if you don't feel it personally!"

Calm

 

     I’m sitting in front of my computer this morning thinking of the different ways that I find work for me in keeping myself calm.  Different people have different methods that they feel does the job for them.  Many have turned to meditation as the answer for them.

 

     According to the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (https://www.nccih.nih.gov/health/meditation-in-depth ) “Meditation is a mind and body practice that has a long history of use for increasing calmness and physical relaxation, improving psychological balance, coping with illness, and enhancing overall health and well-being.”  So many use this practice to exercise a style of mental self-discipline to provide a calmness within their lives.  They practice this meditation routine on a very regular basis.

 

     Mindful.org puts it very simply: (https://www.mindful.org/how-to-meditate/ ) “When we meditate, we inject far-reaching and long-lasting benefits into our lives: We lower our stress levels, we get to know our pain, we connect better, we improve our focus, and we're kinder to ourselves.”

 

     Where it really becomes confusing for many is how it is highlighted at healthline.com (https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/types-of-meditation ) where it states:

 

     “Although there isn’t a right or wrong way to meditate, it’s important to find a practice that meets your needs and complements your personality.  There are nine popular types of meditation practice:

• mindfulness meditation
• spiritual meditation
• focused meditation
• movement meditation
• mantra meditation
• transcendental meditation
• progressive relaxation
• loving-kindness meditation
• visualization meditation

     Not all meditation styles are right for everyone. These practices require different skills and mindsets.”

     I can see why this would be where many become confused and just decide to give up!  I think I agree with the part of their comment where it says you basically have to find what works for you!

    This is what I’ve done.  And believe it or not, the two things that bring a great calmness to me are:

(1)   Watching the birds!  I have a huge elm tree outside my office window upon which I have attached a bird feeder.  I can get extremely calm by watching the birds that come and flitter around the feeder during the day.  When it was first put up, I didn’t get any birds at all!  I mean for months!  I think the first reason was that our yard was completely barraged with miller moths.  This season was extremely bad.  They were everywhere and the birds were having a feast.  The second reason I learned from a bit of study.  Since there had never been a feeder in this area, the birds would have to learn it was there and then, as it were, pass along the location to other birds.  Now I’m beginning to have several periods during the day when the birds come to feed.  To me, it is very relaxing to watch them in this activity.

(2)   The second thing is playing games on the computer!  I especially enjoy daily contests of Minesweeper and Mahjong.  Both of these games get my thinking skills activated and they make me seek out the winning strategy of the games.  That sounds a bit counter-intuitive for trying to stay calm, but for me keeping the mind active and concentrating on the maneuvers of the game are very calming.

     Like I said, we’ve got to find what works for us as individuals.  That’s why at times when someone tells us about their new “secret to success” for themselves, we may not be able to make it work for us. 

     That’s the fascination with our lives.  We are all different in so many ways, but in the end, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Even when you must act in an emergency,

stay calm!"

Sunshine

     Have you ever noticed that even if it is a gloomy day outside if the sun is shinning you feel better about it? The shinning of the sun does something to us that really makes us feel better inside.  This has been shown to be a scientific fact about our human bodies.

      Healthline.com made the following comments in an article “Sunlight and serotonin” [https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/benefits-sunlight#_noHeaderPrefixedContent]:

 

     “We’re used to hearing about how too much of the sun’s warm rays can be harmful to your skin. But did you know the right balance can have lots of mood-lifting benefits?

    Sunlight and darkness trigger the release of hormones in your brain. Exposure to sunlight is thought to increase the brain’s release of a hormone called serotonin. Serotonin is associated with boosting mood and helping a person feel calm and focused. At night, darker lighting triggers the brain to make another hormone called melatonin. This hormone is responsible for helping you sleep.

     Without enough sun exposure, your serotonin levels can dip. Low levels of serotonin are associated with a higher risk of major depression with seasonal pattern (formerly known as seasonal affective disorder or SAD). This is a form of depression triggered by the changing seasons.”

     The article continues to discuss the relationship between sunshine and mental health and other benefits that we obtain from daily sunlight exposure.  My personal (and very unprofessional) opinion is that we as humans simply enjoy being in the sunshine more than we do not being there.  Every year we see people, as the spring and summer months approach, begin to come out of their winter abodes to more fully engage in activities that they enjoy being in the sunshine.  And they seek out such activities as long as they can to prolong the feelings that they have for enjoying such activities.

     That feeling that we receive from enjoyment in the sun (although we must be cautious and balanced in such activities) can be passed on to others by our very personality.  Although performed by many artists over the years, the 1973 single release of “You Are the Sunshine of My Life” by Stevie Wonder expressed it so positively that it’s very hard to say it any other way.  The lyrics of the song show how an individuals’ very life can be affected by the radiance (sunshine) of another person.  Just as our very lives depend upon a certain amount of sunshine, we can become so attached to another individual that it’s as if we cannot exist without them.

     An article by solarponics.com shows that we need sunshine for our very existence.  [https://www.solarponics.com/learning-resources/do-humans-need-sunlight-to-survive/#:~:text=Humans%20get%20our%20energy%20from,need%20the%20sun%20to%20survive.&text=Sunshine%20vitamin%20D%20may%20protect,prostate%20cancer%20and%20colon%20cancer.]

     “Humans get our energy from the food we eat, and all of that food is derived from the energy of the sun. So, we need the sun to survive.”  It adds: “Sunshine vitamin D may protect against a host of diseases, including heart disease, cancers, osteoporosis, prostate cancer and colon cancer. Sunlight vitamin D also has other health benefits, like protecting against depression, insomnia, and an overactive immune system. Submariners have gone without sunlight for periods exceeding 6-months, using vitamin D supplements.”

     We would probably not die from exclusion of sunshine in our lives directly, but we would probably develop others illnesses that would conclude in our deaths.  As I have stated very often, we are strange and yet marvelous creatures. That is what makes us so unique within the universe.  The very fact that we’re only human!

    QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"Always try to light up 

the room when you enter."

Today

 

   What is Today!  That would get you a different response depending upon who you asked?  However, generally speaking you would find that asking “What is today?” would render a response from most people that would fall into one of three answers.

 

     First you would probably get the response that today is Friday.  Some would give you this answer based on their view of this today.  Obviously, this is the day that comes after Thursday.  However, more importantly someone would give you this response because it is the day that comes BEFORE Saturday!  The day that many will begin to engage their minds into thoughts of what they will be doing for the week-end.  Many will have already adjusted their workload so that they will not be hindered in any way about getting away from the job when their workday has concluded.  There may be some who have even adjusted their workload so that they will be leaving work after lunch and not returning for the afternoon.  Thereby having the opportunity to start their week-end a bit earlier than others!

 

     Secondly you may get a response from someone when asked “What is today?” based on their perspective of the calendar.  Today is November 13, 2020 they would tell you.  To them it is just another created period in time based on the rotation of the earth around the Sun and has been set into the establishment of the Gregorian Calendar.  It is the day that comes after November 12^th and before November 14^th.  There is nothing more that might distinguish it from any other day unless that specific date has some special meaning for us or for someone close to us.  For reasons that may be only significant to them they have chosen to note that this date is what it is as specified by the calendar and nothing more!

 

     Now there is that third response you might get from someone who considers this to be a “special” day of fear because it is the 13^th of the month and that within this particular month that date falls on Friday!  So, they become concerned in some cases because it is Friday, the 13^th!  Some do this because they simply want to share in the antics that this date will bring up for some.  Others because they are very superstitious and feel that this date will conjure up for them untold calamities!  Why would some feel this way?

 

     Consider what is stated at history.com [https://history.com/topics/folklore/Friday-the-13^th] “Long considered a harbinger of bad luck, Friday the 13th has inspired a late 19th-century secret society, an early 20th-century novel, a horror film franchise and not one but two unwieldy terms—paraskavedekatriaphobia and friggatriskaidekaphobia—that describe fear of this supposedly unlucky day.”  I can’t even pronounce those words! The remainder of the article explains in details the history of this event and why so many people can become consumed by its fear.  You may find it enjoyable reading

 

     In considering that simple question, “What is today?” it is amazing the responses you will get and why.  The key component to what you get as an answer is the fact that we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"To understand your fear

is to conquer your fear."

 

A Thought

      We know that there are sounds that we cannot hear with the human ear.  We know that there are bands of light that we cannot see with the human eye.  There are no doubt substances that we cannot taste with our tongue.  There are probably things that are beyond feeling by our sense of touch.  Perhaps there exist things that are “out of time” with our present human existence.  Considering all these things, is it possible that there could be a “life” that exists without our even knowing it?

 

     What would we know about such “beings” if we could not hear them, if we could not see them, if we could not taste them, if we could not sense their presence, and if they could exist outside our own timeframe?  How would we know of their very existence? 

 

     Our being aware of their existence would totally depend upon THEIR wanting us to know that they were here.  That would be the only way possible for us to become cognizant of their presence.  Think of that for a moment.  What would that truly mean?

 

     Would we be able to conceive of the things that may be possible for such beings?  The possibility of a total species that could exist around our own plane of being without us knowing that they were here!

 

     Could it be possible for such beings to live, thrive, grow, and die within the blink of our eyes?  Imagine a grandfather clock ticking the seconds away: tick, tock, one second, then tick, tock, two seconds!  There could be a complete generation of beings between the tick and the tock!  Could that even be possible?

 

     What would be beings of such existence be made of?  It is almost beyond the ability for our minds to comprehend the existence of such creatures.  What would they look like?  How would they act?  What would their existence be like?  There would be these and many more questions that would run through our minds.

 

     It must make a thinking mind ponder inquisitively the possibility of such events.  In all aspects such beings would be non-existent to us.  We would not be able to detect their existence in any fashion.  Only if they chose to make their existence known to us in some fashion would we briefly know of them at all!

 

     However, our not knowing of their existence would not make it true that they did not exist!  Regardless of our understanding of them, their existence would not be dependent upon them even remotely revealing themselves to us.  They would exist and perhaps be completely unaware of OUR existent!  If their entire lifespan was within a second or less of our own existence, they may be generations of these beings who would never know of anything existing outside their own capabilities of perception.  To them, we may be the great mystery that they debate within their scientific communities.  Or perhaps they are completely unaware of our existence at all.

 

     With the limited capabilities that we have, we may never know ourselves if such things are within the realm of possibility as we know it.  Our minds may never comprehend what may or may not be true on a level that we cannot understand!  It may be something that we will have to ponder for a long time to even may not want to begin to concede that it may be possible!

 

     With our limited senses consider this: We are aware of that annoying noise that is made when a mosquito is flying around our head at night when we are trying to sleep in our beds.  But remember, a mosquito cannot bite you when it is flying and it only makes that annoying sound when it flies.  So next time you are lying in your bed and you DON’T hear that annoying sound, maybe you are being bitten! 

 

     To perceive the full range or our senses and beyond would amount to opening possibilities that we cannot presently conceive: but then again, we’re only human!

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"It's the very moment that fills

my senses with adventure."

Questions

 

     It seems that from the moment we are able to speak we begin to ask questions.  Maybe we are even asking questions within our minds before that time!  The point is that as humans we are  very inquisitive creatures.  We always want to know the answers.  Even if we don’t understand the question that is being asked.

     According to Success.com (https://www.success.com/6-underlying-benefits-of-asking-questions/#:~:text=It's%20helpful%20in%20discovering%20a,to%20move%20forward%20in%20life. ) “Questions push people to figure out the answers on their own. The question system has been used by coaches of elite athletes and almost all therapists. It’s helpful in discovering a person’s individual way of thinking and their mental blocks, and in applying specific mindsets to help them achieve their goals.” 

     When we ask or are being asked the right questions, we can gain the information we need to move forward in our lives.  We can continue to grow in who we are as a person. But we have to admit that at certain times and under certain circumstances we do not have a need or perhaps even the right to know the answers to certain questions.

    QBQ in an online article (https://qbq.com/15-reasons-to-ask-questions/ ) made a listing of 15 reasons to ask questions.  I’d like to share their list with you:

1.      To acquire knowledge

 

2.      To eliminate confusion

 

     3.   To cause someone else to feel special/important

 

     4.   To guide a conversation in the direction we want it to go

 

     5.   To demonstrate humility to another

 

     6.   To enable a person to discover answers for themselves

 

     7.   To gain empathy through better understanding another’s view

 

     8.   To influence/alter someone else’s opinion/view

 

     9.   To begin a relationship

 

     10.   To strengthen a relationship

 

     11.   To humbly show we have knowledge on a specific topic

 

     12.   To stimulate creativity and idea generation

 

     13.   To gain a person’s attention

 

     14.   To solve a problem

 

     15.   To reach agreement or to “agree to disagree” with clarity

 

     As you can see this is a very interesting, but probably not exhaustive list of why we might ask a question. There are times however when we may feel that it is not appropriate to ask a question because we would be embarrassed to do so.  We may find ourselves in a classroom situation or maybe even in a seminar with very distinguished individuals and this may to some degree intimidate us.

 

     I recall years ago in one of my college classes the professor made a very interesting comment that I have not forgotten it even to this day.  He told us that there was going to be many things discussed in his class and we will probably have many questions going through our minds.  Then he added, “Just remember, the only dumb question is the one you do not ask.”

 

     That same article from QBQ also mentioned that there may be reasons why we SHOULD NOT ask a question.

 

      1. To find a culprit

 

      2.  To embarrass and shame

 

      3.  To appear superior

 

4.      To create fear

 

      5.  To manipulate

 

      6.  To play the victim, as in, “Why is this happening to me?”

 

     There is a very interesting video on YOUTUBE with educator Karen Maeyens where she explores the power of asking questions as keys that open endless possibilities.  I think you would enjoy watching and listening to it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZIuAQw8RA4

 

     The ability to ask good and upbuilding questions is a skill that we all should seek to develop within ourselves.  However, for some reason as we grow older, we begin to ask fewer and fewer questions.  Do we feel we know all that we need to know to live the remainder of our lives?  Or perhaps we feel that we have greater difficulty finding the answers we seek to our questions so there is no basis for us to ask?

 

     Whatever our reasons may be, we need to look beyond that barrier and know that somewhere there is the answer to our question.  Maybe we are asking it wrong?  Maybe we are not looking to the right source for the answers we are seeking?  Maybe we have become tired of our search and no longer have the desire to really find out the answer? 

 

     We must also realize that perhaps the current answer to our question has been given to us and we have failed to recognize what it is?  Maybe our answer is that we have to wait to receive that which we seek.  Perhaps our answer is simply: “You don’t need to know the answer to that question?”

 

     Will be willing to wait?  Will we continue to seek in all areas available to us?  Or will we decide that the answer is not really worth all the time and efforts?  Maybe we reach a point in our lives where we just feel that we no longer want to know the answer to our question! 

 

     We need to recognize that it is within the human nature to seek answers to questions and we have to find the solutions in our quest for finding them.  We have to realize that this is who we are as creatures of curiosity.  Never forget: “We’re only human!”

QUOTE TO CONSIDER

THOUGHTFUL GEM

"It's hard to give an answer

when you don't understand the question."